Gravity
by Djinn1
Summary: This is an alternate look at what the Scoobies went through after Buffy's death and how they bring her back. Begins after the end of Season Five and goes from there. It takes the characters in some very different directions.
1. Release

All characters belong to Fox Television, Mutant Enemies, and Joss Whedon. I'm just having fun.  
  
  
  
Gravity  
  
"Come on, put your back into it. A Watcher scoffs at gravity." - Giles to Spike, Restless  
  
Chapter 1: Release  
  
by Djinn  
  
  
  
"I won't go! What if she comes back?"  
  
Giles sighed. This was one of those nights he wished he had never come to Sunnydale, never become a watcher. It was bad enough dealing with his own grief over Buffy's death. But to have to help Dawn deal with hers was almost more than he could bear. And for her it wasn't just grief; it was guilt. She knew that she was the one that was supposed to have died. But Buffy had changed all that the only way she could. By taking her sister's place--the greatest gift she could give.  
  
"I won't go to Spain." Dawn folded her arms as her face sank into a mask of sullen resolve.  
  
"You will, Dawn. I'm afraid you have no choice."  
  
"Why? Because you don't want me around anymore?"  
  
"You know that's not true." He glared at her. "Your father is your legal guardian."  
  
She looked even sulkier. "Well, why did you have to go and tell him?"  
  
"You know why. Family services was already watching Buffy closely. If they had their doubts about leaving you with your sister, how do you think they feel about letting you stay with an unrelated male foreigner, hmm?"  
  
Dawn didn't try to argue with that. "How'd you even find him?" She sat down, appearing resigned for now. "Buffy couldn't after Mom died."  
  
Giles silently thanked the Council for their assistance in helping him track down Hank Summers. The man was well hidden in Spain, but not invisible to an organization with as long a reach as the Watcher's Council. And Summers hadn't actually been trying to hide, he had just been the victim of bureaucratic snafus at both his own company and the Spanish postal service. The man had been horrified to learn that Joyce had died and his daughters were alone.  
  
Daughters, plural. Giles marveled at the power of the monks' spell. How far it had reached and how durable it appeared to be. He might know intellectually that the girl was a construct and the memories he had of her were false, but that didn't convince his heart. His memories felt real. They were real, and they weren't. The same strange contradiction that Dawn was herself.  
  
At least Hank Summers would not have to struggle with that. And perhaps in a way it was a blessing that he had this other daughter to help him come to terms with the death of his oldest. Not that he deserved that much help, Giles thought angrily, as he remembered how he had been more of a father to Buffy than Hank had over the last five years. Hank hadn't had to watch as his daughter launched herself off a tower to save someone Dawn. Giles had known that she was dead before she hit the ground. Had somehow sensed when her life ended as she fell through the crackling energy of the portal. The body that hit the ground in front of him had held no soul. At that moment, he had wanted to follow her wherever she had gone. It had been too much.  
  
He looked at Dawn. She was so young and innocent. So full of pain. He wasn't helping her, even though he was trying. Maybe being with her father would be the best thing. A complete break from all of this madness.  
  
"They won't know what I am," she said, as if reading his mind.  
  
"You're human, Dawn. That's why Buffy wanted so badly to save you. You truly are human."  
  
"But I'm still the Key. I know. When I came down those stairs...after she was dead. Nothing had changed. The crazy people still saw it, the energy. They still knew what I was. They knew that I'm not real."  
  
"I know it doesn't make much sense. But you are real. And you're still the Key. Both. You're special."  
  
Her voice was very small. "I don't want to be special."  
  
Neither did Buffy, he thought sadly.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
It was absurdly easy to sneak out of Giles' apartment. He was oblivious, snoring softly in his bed up in the loft. Dawn rose from the couch, dressed in the bathroom, and grabbed the backpack she had stashed earlier. The note she left in the kitchen was brief and to the point. "I'm not going."  
  
"Good bye," she whispered as she closed the door behind her. "I'm sorry."  
  
The streets of Sunnydale were deserted at this hour. She hurried to the cemetery. There was no place else to go. The others wouldn't help her. They really thought that it was best that she go with her father. There was only one person. She hadn't seen him since Buffy died. He had kept to himself. She knew why.  
  
The crypt was dark when she arrived. "Spike?" He wasn't there. She checked in the underground room. He wasn't there either. She went back up.  
  
She didn't like the look of the place. It was a mess. Liquor bottles everywhere, empty containers that once held blood littered the room. Ashtrays were overflowing. She wrinkled her nose at the combined smells.  
  
She waited for an hour, but he didn't come back. She let herself out of the crypt.  
  
"Spike, where are you?" she whispered desperately.  
  
"What have we here?" A deep voice sounded, too close for comfort.  
  
She turned and backed away quickly. A tall vampire stood in front of her.  
  
"Don't run, sweet thing." He laughed at her. "I just love little girls."  
  
"I bet," she replied, swinging the backpack hard. The blow took him by surprise and she took off through the trees. She could hear him behind her, could feel his arm reach out and touch her shoulder. As she burst through the clearing, she put on extra speed and was surprised to feel his hand fall away. She tore through the cemetery, could feel him right behind her. She suddenly realized where she was going, saw what lay ahead of her. Who lay ahead of her.  
  
"Spike!" she screamed.  
  
A blonde head poked up. His eyes were dazed but he leapt to his feet unsteadily. "Dawn?"  
  
She ran to him, stopped at the headstone. Buffy's headstone. "Help me," she urged.  
  
Spike looked at the vampire that stood just in front of him. "Get out." His words were slurred.  
  
"Hey man, get your own. I saw her first." The bigger vampire pushed him out of the way.  
  
Dawn felt real terror as she saw Spike stumble away from her. "Leave me alone," she said to the other vampire.  
  
"Worked up an appetite with you, little girl. You sure can run." He leered and took another step toward her.  
  
Spike looked up. "I wouldn't be stepping there, mate."  
  
The other vampire ignored him. His foot came down on Buffy's grave.  
  
Spike's expression changed. Dawn had never seen such pure rage. He didn't make a sound as he stalked over to the other vamp, who oblivious to the danger he was in took another step. Spike's fist caught his shoulder, spun him around. The first punch sent the bigger vampire sailing over her.  
  
He recovered with a roar of anger. "What is your problem?" he yelled as he ran toward Spike.  
  
Spike just smiled. It was the most dangerous thing she had ever seen.  
  
His fists were blurs as he knocked the vampire down as fast as the other could get up. Finally, seeming to weary of the sport, Spike grabbed the vampire's head. "I said not to step there," he whispered as he gave a vicious twist.  
  
Dawn barely saw the head come free before the vampire exploded into dust. "Wow." She said. "That was so cool." She sat down heavily. "And so gross."  
  
He moved to her. "Are you all right?" He suddenly seemed perfectly sober.  
  
She nodded. "I was scared."  
  
He looked down at the grave. "You shouldn't come here at night, Dawn. You know that."  
  
"I didn't come to see her. I was looking for you."  
  
He started walking toward his crypt. "Don't know why. What the hell would you need with me?"  
  
"Your help."  
  
"Well you just got it."  
  
"That wasn't about me." She held her ground when his head snapped around. She met his glare without flinching. "That was about Buffy. You don't care about me."  
  
"That's not true." He turned back around, but didn't move away.  
  
She walked up to him. Took his hand in her own, trying not to flinch at how cold it was. "Will you prove it?"  
  
He pulled away, took out a small flask, started to unscrew the lid.  
  
She grabbed it out of his hand.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"You don't need it."  
  
"Well maybe not, but I bloody well want it. Give it back."  
  
She threw it far into the woods.  
  
He stared at her angrily. "What is your problem, girl?"  
  
"I need your help. Your sober help."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"To get me out of town." She pulled him to his crypt, retrieved her backpack as they went. Once inside, she pushed him into his chair, stood over him with her hands on her hips. Unaware of how completely like her sister she looked.  
  
His expression softened. "How are you doing?"  
  
"Not so good, Spike. See tomorrow, I'm supposed to get on a plane and leave here. They want to send me to my Dad. To Spain. But I don't want to go."  
  
"Why not, Spain's nice this time of year."  
  
"That's not the point."  
  
He smiled sadly. "What is the point, Dawn? Why not go? There's nothing here for you."  
  
"Yes there is. There's Willow and Tara, and Giles, and Xander, and even Anya. And there's you."  
  
"We all came together, stayed together, because of Buffy. You watch. Everything will change."  
  
"It doesn't have to."  
  
He leaned back, pulled out his cigarettes. Lighting one, he looked at her. "I assume I can still do this?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Small mercies," he muttered sarcastically.  
  
"So will you help me?"  
  
"What good is running away going to do? You want to stay here, running away isn't going to accomplish that. Might as well go to Spain."  
  
She was irritated at his logic; she knew her plan made no sense. She also knew she had to do this. "So you won't help me?"  
  
"I just don't see the point."  
  
"Buffy asked you to keep me safe, didn't she? How are you going to feel when something terrible happens to me?"  
  
He closed his eyes. "Go to Spain, Dawn."  
  
"She'd be pretty disappointed in you, wouldn't she?"  
  
"Go to Spain and leave me alone."  
  
"Boy, you sure are letting her down. Hope you didn't promise or anything...you know, to look out for me."  
  
She knew she had won when she saw him flinch.  
  
"You don't fight fair, Dawn."  
  
"Not when it's this important, Spike. Will you help me?"  
  
His weary groan as he stood up was all the answer she needed.  
  
------------------------------  
  
Giles woke with a start. The loft was quiet. Too quiet. Dawn liked to watch cartoons in the morning. Noisy cartoons.  
  
He kicked the covers off and grabbed a robe. Running down the stairs to the main level, he called out, "Dawn?"  
  
There was no answer.  
  
Her suitcases were still placed neatly by the door. The blankets on the couch were rumpled. He hurried down the hall to the bathroom. It was empty.  
  
He picked up the phone and hit speed dial. He barely heard Willow's sleepy voice before he asked, "Is Dawn there?"  
  
"Giles? Do you know what time it is?"  
  
"Is Dawn there, Willow?"  
  
Her voice was more awake but still confused. "She's leaving for Spain today, right? Why would she be here?"  
  
"She's gone."  
  
"You mean she left already?"  
  
"Missing. She's missing."  
  
"Maybe she went to the grave. Do you want us to check it out?"  
  
"The grave. Yes, of course. No, I'll go."  
  
"Call us if you need anything."  
  
He barely remembered to dress in his haste to find Dawn, but when he got to the grave there was no one to be seen. He stared down at the marker. Felt a surge of pain at the sight of it. His lost slayer haunted him.  
  
He drove back to his apartment. Walked in and started some water to boil. He needed some tea. Then he saw the note. Picked it up, knowing what it would say but reading it anyway. She was gone.  
  
The phone rang. He crossed the room slowly. "Yes?"  
  
"Giles?" It was Xander. "Willow called me. Did you find Dawn?"  
  
"She's run away."  
  
There was a long silence. "We'll be right over."  
  
Giles hung up the phone, stood staring at nothing. He felt as if someone had catapulted him back three years to that awful moment when he had found out that Buffy had run away. Only at least he had known that Buffy could take care of herself. She had been the slayer after all. But Dawn was just a young girl. No super powers to help her survive in a world she had barely had a chance to live in.  
  
"Where are you, Dawn?" he whispered. "Where in god's name have you gone?"  
  
------------------------------  
  
Spike barely beat the daylight into the apartment. The place was small but serviceable. He had found it using an old scam, pretending to be a fellow traveler at the airport, looking for someone in the check in line whose address was easy to spot on the outside of his bag. A few minutes of chatting the unsuspecting young man up and he knew exactly how long they could stay at the place. This was their last night.  
  
Dawn looked up as he ran inside. "Cutting it close, aren't you?"  
  
"Yeah. But we've got everything we need now." He pulled out the cash he had taken off the Cikner demon. After he had killed him. The young woman he had saved had been exceedingly grateful. Spike smiled at just how surprised she'd been when he hadn't taken advantage of that gratitude.  
  
Dawn was excited. "You found us a new place to stay? Where? Does it have a pool?"  
  
"You know, that wasn't one of the first things I asked about. Oh wait, I didn't ask at all. Dawn, we're on the lam, you know. We're not going to rent a place up on Melrose and then hang about by the pool. In fact, we aren't going to rent a place at all. This is underground and free for the taking. Very safe." Cikner demons were fanatics about privacy.  
  
Her smile faded.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't really like it underground."  
  
He edged around the sunshine slipping through the closed blinds and went into the kitchen. "Well, I do. No sunshine is a bloody good thing."  
  
"Yeah, I guess."  
  
"You guess? Gonna be hard to be your minder if I've gone poof, now won't it?"  
  
She was glum. "Yes."  
  
He felt sorry for her. Maybe he had overdone it. "Dawn. I can't protect you when it's daylight. I know it's hard but you can't go out."  
  
She just nodded.  
  
"I'm sorry, kid. But this is what you chose when we ran. If you don't like it, I hear there's lots of sunshine and pools in Spain."  
  
Her look hardened. "No, It's ok. I'll get used to it." She walked into the bathroom.  
  
He pretended he couldn't hear her crying behind the closed door.  
  
--------------------  
  
"You understand we don't like this. Reactivating you wasn't our first choice. But she's enough of a loose cannon without adding a new watcher to the mix. We really have no choice." The British voice on the phone oozed disapproval.  
  
"Of course." Giles was only mildly surprised at the news. "When shall I go get her, Quentin?"  
  
"It will take us a fortnight or so to get her out."  
  
That soon, he thought. The reach of the Council again. So long. So pervasive.  
  
"She's asked for you. Wants to talk to you before she agrees."  
  
"To me? Now?"  
  
"Yes to you. I expect you to get over to Los Angeles at once. Faith's a stubborn girl. And quite unpleasant. I can't state enough my aversion to seeing her roaming free."  
  
"I'm surprised you're letting her. Frankly, I expected you'd arrange some sort of fatal prison accident. You know her death would call a new slayer."  
  
"How droll, Rupert. And on an unsecured line, no less. Suffice it to say that the girl appears to have changed. Just the fact that she remained in prison speaks volumes. Even if it hasn't improved her disposition." Travers sighed. "You'll go to see her then?"  
  
"I'll leave now."  
  
The drive to LA was a blur. His thoughts alternated between Dawn and how he was going to find her now that she'd been missing for a week, and Faith who was going to become his responsibility. Before he knew it, he was pulling up to the prison. It took some time to get through the security measures but finally he was waiting for her in the visiting room. He watched as she was led in and took a seat across from him.  
  
She picked up the phone, and he followed suit. Studying her through the glass, he thought she looked older. But her voice was the same as he remembered.  
  
"I'm glad you came."  
  
"They said you wouldn't agree to this till you talked to me."  
  
She looked at him, studying him as steadily as he had done to her. "You look like shit."  
  
He laughed, a short burst of sound. "I rather feel like it as well."  
  
"Angel told me about Buffy."  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Are you sure you're up to this?"  
  
He frowned. "Do you not want me to do this, Faith?"  
  
"No, I want you to. But I know how it is. I mean Angel had to take off for a while to deal. Maybe you do, too? Maybe the last thing you need is me."  
  
He thought about that. "Maybe the last thing you need is a watcher as damaged as I feel. You'll be free again. Perhaps some fresh blood would do you good."  
  
"I don't trust the Council." She smiled tightly. "They may need me out now. But some things have gone down in here that I'd swear they had a hand in. I don't think I was meant to survive this sentence. And if they ever do find that other slayer, I know I don't want one of their people with me."  
  
He decided not to lie to her. "Probably not."  
  
"That's why I want you to be my watcher. I know you'll be straight with me. And I won't have to watch my back." She flashed him the devil-may- care grin he remembered. "We can be damaged together."  
  
He nodded, his expression serious. "Perhaps we can heal together too."  
  
"I wouldn't bet against us." Her grin faded. "So tell me what I can expect when I get back in town."  
  
---------------------  
  
Spike and Dawn had been in the demon's lair for two weeks and it was clear that she was not going to adapt. She seemed to lose every ounce of her normal vivacity. It was as if the very life was being sucked out of her.  
  
Spike felt frantic. He didn't know what to do. He brought her anything she wanted. The previous owner had enjoyed the finer things in life, even by non-demon standards. There was a gameboy, video games, television. He brought her movies and books. They even played games.  
  
All she wanted to do lately was talk. About Buffy.  
  
He had to get her out to the sunshine. But how? Maybe it would be all right if she went out alone.  
  
He turned the TV on. It was the news. He was about to flip the channel with he saw a picture of a young girl flash on the screen. At first, he thought it was Dawn. But her hair was darker.  
  
"Police are asking for your help in the Kelly Manners murder. Anyone who saw the red sedan that has been reported around Canyon Ridge Junior High School at the time of her disappearance, or any other unusual happenings is encouraged to call KSTV's crime stoppers at..."  
  
He flipped off the TV. "Come on."  
  
She looked up at him in surprise.  
  
"Come on," he held his hand out, unwilling to admit how spooked he was by the report. The girl had looked so much like Dawn. He could imagine what had happened to her. He knew the mind of a killer, because he had been one. Maybe still was, but for a piece of metal in his brain. "It's a full moon, let's go admire it."  
  
She didn't move. "I'm ok"  
  
"Well, I'm not. Come on." He finally had to walk over and pick her up.  
  
"Put me down!" she yelled at him.  
  
"Can you walk?"  
  
"I'm not a baby."  
  
He snorted as he set her back on her feet. "Then prove it."  
  
"Fine. Let's go." She grabbed her jacket and walked out of the room.  
  
He caught up with her easily. Watched as her mood lightened as they walked in the cool night air. She's been cooped up too much, he thought guiltily.  
  
They walked for hours. He worried that she was overdoing it, but she didn't seem at all tired. And she seemed to be enjoying the night as much as he was.  
  
They were nearing the entrance to their hideaway when he heard a familiar voice. Cordelia Chase. She was walking toward them, a man he didn't recognize next to her. Spike pulled Dawn into a doorway and listened to their conversation as they got closer.  
  
"I still can't believe it, Wesley. They're really just going to let her go tomorrow?"  
  
"The Council pulled strings." The voice was English. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Spike guessed.  
  
"Why? She's a psycho." Cordelia's voice was strained. "I haven't forgotten what she did to you."  
  
The man's voice was cold. "Nor I. But I'm not her watcher anymore. Giles will be. And perhaps he can help her."  
  
"Yeah. Look how much he did for Buffy."  
  
There was a long silence.  
  
"They really can't find the new slayer?"  
  
"It's a big planet. She could be anywhere." Wesley sounded defensive.  
  
"Well tell them to look harder. They need to find her. Preferably before Faith flips out again."  
  
"Angel says she's changed."  
  
"Uh huh, and he thought Darla had too." Cordelia's voice was scornful. "Angel gives homicidal maniacs way too much benefit of the doubt, if you ask me."  
  
"Well, I'm inclined to agree with you on that one. Between him and Fred, it's tolerance all around these days."  
  
The voices moved away as the two crossed the street. It was harder for Spike to hear Cordelia's reply. "Oh, don't even get me started on her."  
  
He waited a few minutes then stepped out to watch them disappear around the corner. "Very interesting."  
  
"You learned something from that?"  
  
"Uh huh." He smiled. "Come on."  
  
He led her past a park to the bus stop. He grinned again thinking of the conversation he had just overheard. He reached into his coat, pulled out a new flask. He didn't expect to have it yanked out of his hands. "Dawn, no!" But it was too late; she had thrown it into the woods.  
  
"I thought we were clear that you didn't need that stuff." Her eyes were very fierce.  
  
"Well this stuff I do happen to need. You just threw away my dinner."  
  
She gulped audibly. "That was blood?" At his nod, she grimaced. "Not booze?"  
  
"Nice fresh blood."  
  
She was already moving. "I'll get it. You just wait there. I'll be right back." She ran toward the woods, turning around to make sure he wasn't following. "Just stay there. Don't move."  
  
"Yeah, and make it fast. I'm hungry." He managed to hold in his laughter until she was out of range.  
  
When she came running back with the flask, he was all stern displeasure.  
  
"Here," she said as she handed it over.  
  
He opened it, took a deep drink. "Come on, then, we're wasting moonlight."  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"We need help. And I know just the person."  
  
------------------------  
  
Faith followed the guard to the visiting room. She was curious who would visit her this late. Angel had already been here to wish her luck and she knew that Giles would be coming in the morning to pick her up when she was released.  
  
"You know the rules." The guard said sternly.  
  
Faith just smirked.  
  
"Don't push it. I don't care what tomorrow is."  
  
"Right." She dialed down her attitude a notch. No need to piss off one of the few guards that was nice to her. "Don't worry, I'll behave."  
  
When she saw who was sitting on the other side of the glass, she almost laughed. "Spike?" she said neutrally as she sat down and picked up the phone. "William the Bloody here to see me off?"  
  
Then she realized that Dawn was sitting in the next seat. Buffy's sister moved to share the stool and the earpiece with the vampire. "William the babysitter," Faith corrected disbelievingly.  
  
"He's my bodyguard," Dawn corrected with bravado. "And my friend."  
  
"For real? Betcha big sister is spinning in her grave over that."  
  
Spike's eyes never left her. "Buffy is the one that asked me to take care of her."  
  
"Whoa, points off for judgment." She suddenly had a bad feeling. "You didn't make her into a...?"  
  
Dawn made a face. "No. He's not evil."  
  
Faith did laugh out loud this time. "Hate to correct you, midget, but that's exactly what he is."  
  
"Buffy trusted me." Spike said with quiet dignity.  
  
"And look where that got her." Faith studied the two. They looked miserable. "Hey, as much fun as trading insults with you two is, I've got things to do, you know."  
  
Dawn opened her mouth.  
  
"Yeah, we heard." Spike interrupted whatever Dawn had been about to say.  
  
"Amazing, isn't it? I'm locked up in here for a good long time. I think the technical term was 'till you rot.' But then they need a slayer, and hey presto, I'm set free."  
  
Dawn stared at her with hatred. "Only till they find the new one."  
  
Faith met her gaze evenly. "Yeah, well that's the funny thing. See, they can't find that new slayer. Anywhere. It's just possible that since Buffy already died once, this latest death won't call some new girl to join the ranks of the cursed."  
  
"They should just kill you then. Bet that would work."  
  
Faith could see a spark of Dawn's sister in the teenager. "Wow, guess you've been taking charm lessons from Buffy? Wicked harsh, kid. Good thing I'm past letting that kind of thing bother me." She leaned forward, smiled nastily. "See, all hell is breaking loose out there. And the Council, well, they need a slayer. A trained one. And whether it's obvious to you or not, I've changed."  
  
Dawn looked dubious.  
  
"I have. Inside. But that doesn't mean I have to like you, or the Council, or anyone that was against me. I may have to die for you. But I don't have to care for you."  
  
Dawn looked away.  
  
"So who told you I was getting out?"  
  
Spike's lip quirked into a small sneer. "I wouldn't say anyone told us. But we overheard your old watcher and Cordelia talking."  
  
"Wesley." Faith felt a twinge, she hated the guilt she felt when she thought of how she had hurt him.  
  
The vampire's sneer grew. "He's really not happy that you are being let out. Nobody is."  
  
She thought of Giles, hoped that wasn't true of him. "You know that's what I don't get. Angel tortures Giles, everybody's favorite watcher, and all is forgiven. But I do maybe half as bad to the watcher nobody liked and I never hear the end of it."  
  
Spike's face fell a bit as he muttered, "Different rules for Angel. Always have been."  
  
"Yeah, I guess." Faith was suddenly tired of sparring with them. "Why are you here?"  
  
Dawn looked at Spike and shook her head solemnly. He nodded back as if arguing with her.  
  
"Look this is loads of fun, really."  
  
Spike's voice was soft in her ear. "We need your help."  
  
"What? You want me to stake you and take her back to Giles?" She leaned back. "Cuz the way he told it to me, the Council is wanting her back but bad. Papa Summers is not one of the initiated, and well he's wicked pissed that his baby has gone missing. I could make some major points if I were the one that brought her home. In fact, they'd never need to know I killed you. That could just be for my own happy memories." She grinned.  
  
Dawn rose to leave but Spike pulled her back down. "I have to protect her. I promised. But I can't. Not during the day. And not when they're looking for her."  
  
Faith was amazed at the emotion she read on the vampire's face. He really meant it. "So don't go out in the day. You can protect her at night."  
  
"She's not like us. She needs the sunlight."  
  
Faith didn't like the way he included her in his night, then she saw Dawn's expression. Lost, utterly lost. She recognized the look. She turned to meet Spike's eyes. "Take her back. Give her to the Council. Let her grow up away from all this, away from things like us."  
  
Dawn's voice was broken. "I am a thing like you."  
  
Faith was confused. "What?"  
  
"Green, glowy energy that a psycho god wanted to turn into a portal to hell. That's what I am. Not a girl. Not a human. Not really."  
  
Faith looked at Spike. He nodded slowly. She felt suddenly helpless. "I can't help you. Giles believes in me. And the council..."  
  
"Leave them."  
  
Faith shook her head. "I can't. I have a duty that I need to see through. I'd like to help you, but if I do there won't be anyone left to fight the evil. I'd let everyone else down just to help one girl. I can't do that."  
  
Dawn stared at her angrily. "Why not? Because I'm Buffy's sister."  
  
Faith shook her head. Was startled to hear herself say, "Because it would be wrong."  
  
Spike seemed to accept her words. "So are you going to tell them you saw us?"  
  
She shook her head, gave him a lopsided grin. "Tell who I saw what?"  
  
Spike nodded in understanding and stood up. "Let's go, Little Bit." He looked at Faith. "Good luck with the slayer gig. Hope you get it right, this time."  
  
"Best you can hope for is a little more time." Faith saw something spark in his eyes. Identified it as grief. She suddenly knew that he was remembering Buffy.  
  
"And love," he whispered.  
  
Dawn grabbed the phone from him. "I don't get it. You fell too. Got all smashed up. How come you get to live?"  
  
Faith looked at the girl, saw her anger, her rage. Understood it. In a gentle voice she answered, "Maybe, because I've still got a lot to learn about being a slayer."  
  
Their eyes met and held. Dawn's gaze grew fiercer even as Faith let her own grow soft.  
  
"I'm sorry, Dawn. Buffy tried to be my friend before it all went bad. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help her."  
  
"Me, too." Dawn let her lids close as she tried to hide the pain.  
  
Faith nodded to Spike and turned away quickly. She wanted to be out of that room before Buffy's sister opened those accusing eyes again. On the other side of the door, she angrily wiped a tear away.  
  
"You ok?" the guard seemed surprised to see this small sign of weakness.  
  
Faith shook her head. "Not even close."  
  
----------------------------------  
  
Spike and Dawn stood out on the street. The bus was long in coming.  
  
"So what now?" she asked.  
  
"Don't know." Spike's voice sounded defeated.  
  
Dawn felt a new resolve fill her. "You didn't really think she'd help us, did you? I mean, come on." She took his hand in hers. Didn't even notice the cold skin that used to bother her. "We don't need her."  
  
"Yes, we do. Dawn, don't you get it. I can't protect you."  
  
"You're a vampire, Spike. If you can't, then who can?"  
  
He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I can fight demons. And gods. But I can't fight humans, Dawn. And that's what the threat is now to you. Regular people. With just enough of the evil in them to want to hurt a young girl. I can't stop them."  
  
She suddenly understood. Remembered the newscast they had been watching. The way he had paid attention. She had not comprehended. Now she did. "Nothing bad is going to happen to me."  
  
Spike didn't answer as a bus pulled up and they boarded. She went to sit behind the driver, but the vampire pulled her over to the other side. "No mirrors," he hissed.  
  
Stupid, she realized. Things she didn't have to think about in Sunnydale were suddenly crucial here. So much to learn. But she could learn. If he taught her.  
  
They sat in silence for a minute. Then she turned to him. "You could teach me to fight. Like Buffy fought. I mean I know I'm not her, but I could learn. Some of it anyway. You could make me tougher to hurt."  
  
He was looking out the window. "Should just take you back," he muttered.  
  
"Spike, no, I want to stay with you."  
  
He didn't answer.  
  
She realized that he was about to give up. "Let's just try, ok? Give me a week. Train me to fight back. If I don't get it in that time, you can take me back to Giles. I'll tell them I ran away and you came after me. They'll never know."  
  
He looked down at her.  
  
She put every ounce of persuasion she could into her voice. "One week? Please?"  
  
He sighed. Then he nodded tiredly. "One week, Dawn. And that's it."  
  
She squeezed his hand and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Thank you, Spike."  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
"Again." Spike rushed her, felt her flip him easily over her back. He landed hard on one of the mats they had spread all over the room.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
He stood up gingerly. She was learning fast. Almost too fast.  
  
"What?" Dawn looked at him in confusion. "Did I do that wrong?"  
  
"No. You're doing it perfectly. And after only seeing it once. Perfect."  
  
She beamed.  
  
"Just like you did the ten other throws perfectly." He walked to the table, picked up the judo videotape. "Have you seen this before, Dawn? Maybe Buffy was watching it?"  
  
"No. Buffy didn't like to learn from tapes. She got bored really quick."  
  
Spike frowned. "You're sure you never took martial arts? In school maybe? Or maybe Buffy showed you some things. You just don't remember."  
  
She was clearly mystified. "I don't understand? I'm doing ok, aren't I? What's the big deal? Why are you acting like it's some sort of crime?"  
  
He thought of her, that night he had seen her running toward him in the graveyard fleeing the vampire. He had been drunk. That was what he told himself. He hadn't really seen her moving like that. No human could outrun a vampire over any kind of distance. No normal human.  
  
"No," he moaned, as he felt his heart drop. "No."  
  
She moved closer to him. "What is it?"  
  
"They can't find her anywhere."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"They can't find her because she's with me."  
  
Dawn still didn't understand.  
  
He whispered, "One girl in all the world..."  
  
She backed away. "No."  
  
"Dawn..." He didn't know what to say.  
  
"That is the stupidest thing." She began to pace. "We're just tired is all. And this judo stuff, well I just have natural ability."  
  
"Did you before?" He asked, remembering how she used to complain about her gym classes.  
  
"Well, no. But I've never done judo before. I guess it's what I'm good at and I just didn't know. But I mean, I still totally suck at gymnastics."  
  
Fast as lightning he was at her side, lifting her high before throwing her across the room. His chip didn't flare. That alone told him he was right. He didn't need to see her fall into a perfect back handspring, push herself up to a faultless landing.  
  
"Damn."  
  
"Oh no," she said, tears filling her eyes. She sat down hard on the mats.  
  
"One girl in all the world," he repeated sadly. He slammed his hand down on the table, felt it jump. "Damn it. It's not fair. Not both of you."  
  
"She said I was made from her." She looked up at him, got up and moved behind him. He felt her arms go around him. "It's ok, Spike. We'll figure this out."  
  
He turned around. Held her tightly. She started to cry. Through her sobs, he heard her say something. "What? Dawn, what did you say?"  
  
"Promise me," she gulped. "Promise me, we'll figure it out together."  
  
"Love, I'm a vampire. You're a slayer."  
  
She was still crying but it was a quieter, less desperate sound. She pulled away from him. "No. Not good enough. I don't have a choice. And it's the one way I can pay Buffy back, don't you see. But I do have a choice on who helps me. And I say it's not going to be some old watcher guy. It's just not."  
  
"Giles..."  
  
"Will have his hands full with Faith."  
  
Spike couldn't believe what she was suggesting. "They'll never go for it."  
  
"Why not? If I say you're my watcher, who are they to argue. And we won't go back until we're ready. We'll hunt here. Nobody'll notice. They'll think it's Angel. We can do it, Spike. We can be so strong when we go back that they won't be able to say anything. And you'll be the first watcher that can go hand to hand with vampires." She grinned at him. "We can do it."  
  
He looked at her. At the earnestness and certainty blazing out of her eyes. And at the terror. He couldn't leave her alone. Buffy had charged him with caring for Dawn. Now he could walk away now with a clear conscience. A slayer didn't need him. But Dawn, the lost little girl, still needed him. And he needed her. Not in the way he had wanted Buffy. Never like that. But in a way that mattered, because no one had ever needed him before the way Dawn did. He looked at the eyes shining up at him. He grinned and saw her answering smile. "Bloody right, Dawn. We can do it."  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
"Yes. Yes, I see. No, I'll tell her. Yes, at once." Giles hung up the phone, his face expressionless.  
  
"What did they say?"  
  
He looked over at Faith. "They want me to come back to England."  
  
Her face fell.  
  
"Both of us are to go, Faith."  
  
Her look was happier, but skeptical. "Me too?"  
  
He nodded. A few months ago, he couldn't imagine taking her with him to the supermarket, much less back to England. But now, something had happened. She had hit Sunnydale like a meteor, taking out the vampires that had moved back in, exterminating whole tribes of demons. Her energy seemed limitless. And he had been there to help her. She had brought him back to life.  
  
He studied her as she processed the news. She had kicked off her shoes and lay sprawled on the couch. He tried not to notice how attractive she was. The fact that she had turned into a woman since the last time he had seen her should be of no real interest to him. She was a slayer. He had a sacred charge to watch over her.  
  
He smiled as he thought of her in England. His colleagues were in for a shock. She may have turned over a new leaf, but she was far from tame. He knew that Willow and the others weren't entirely comfortable with her even after all the good she had done. Of course, Faith hadn't helped matters by being as arrogant and rude as she could be to the Scoobies. The original Scoobies anyway. She seemed to get along fine with Tara and Anya. And with him. In fact, to him she had been gentle, polite. Or as polite as she could get. He smiled.  
  
"What?" Her voice was only mildly irritated. He considered that an excellent sign.  
  
"You haven't been what I'd call civil to Willow and Xander, but you've shown me nothing but respect. Why?"  
  
She considered his question, her eyes meeting his fearlessly. "You were always nice to me, Giles. You never tried to hurt me, or lock me up. You might have been able to help me if Wesley hadn't screwed everything up." She stopped as if unsure.  
  
"What?"  
  
"And you're so miserable. I get sad just looking at you." She shrugged. "Call me a big softie. Don't tell anyone that though."  
  
He smiled at her.  
  
She grinned back. He was again struck by how attractive she was.  
  
"So when do they want us to leave."  
  
"In a week."  
  
She laughed. "No problem for me. Not like I have much to my name. I assume the Council has sent you a passport for me?" At his nod, she nodded knowingly. "Figures. What about you? Can you be ready that fast?"  
  
He nodded. "I can sell the magic shop to Anya. She can afford it. Made a killing in the stock market and got out before the downturn."  
  
"Demons have great self preservation instincts," Faith teased.  
  
"Well, and she's Anya."  
  
"I was trying to be nice."  
  
"And it almost worked."  
  
They shared a smile. Then he sobered again. "I just wish we could find her."  
  
"Dawn?"  
  
He felt the same despair he always did when he thought of her. They had looked for her, Hank Summers had flown over from Spain, the police had tracked her to an apartment in LA. Then the trail had gone cold. She could be anywhere. Or nowhere. Sometimes he dreamed that she was dead. That he was trying to explain to Buffy how it happened. Or that he had to tell Joyce that he had lost both of her girls.  
  
"Giles." Faith was standing close. Her hand was on his shoulder. "She ran away. It wasn't your fault."  
  
"But it was. I mean..." He felt something threatening to tear loose inside him, something heavy and dangerous. Guilt. Blame. Pain. He felt her hand move to his neck. It was comforting but did not stop the feelings inside. "I let her down again, you see. I was supposed to make sure Dawn was ok, to make the sacrifice mean something. But what did I do? I lost her. She could be dead. And that would mean I killed them both."  
  
"You didn't kill Buffy." Faith's voice was harsh as she pulled his face up, forced him to meet her gaze.  
  
He didn't look away. Tried to find blame or hate in her dark eyes. Found only understanding. "I did. I told her so many things about killing Dawn. About how to stop Glory. I practically pushed her off. I should have been there for her. But I wasn't. I killed her."  
  
"No!" Faith shook him, not gently, but not using enough of her strength to hurt him either. "I don't care what you told her. Buffy decided to swan dive off that tower all on her own. That wasn't you. I know."  
  
"You weren't there."  
  
"But I've talked to the others. They were."  
  
"You don't even like the others."  
  
"So? I needed to understand what happened. Why you were so sad. So I asked them. They told me."  
  
"Why did you need to understand?" He realized her hands were still on his neck. They felt good.  
  
"Because I care about you. Not because I think that you care about me. But because I know that you loved her. You would never have done anything to hurt Buffy. You would have thrown yourself off that tower if you could have taken her place. You loved her that much. I've never known that, Giles. Well, except from the Mayor," she saw his look, "but let's not go there. Anyway, you've been really good to me since I've been here. Given me a chance. A real chance. I didn't expect that. You've treated me the best I've ever been treated. But not like a father. You treat me like an adult. An equal. I like that.  
  
" I don't care about very many things. But you better get used to me caring for you." She swallowed, then continued. "And not like a father."  
  
He watched, as her face got closer to his. Mustn't do this, he thought hazily, even as her lips touched his. Very wrong, he objected, as his arms tightened around her and he pulled her onto his lap.  
  
A voice he had never thought to hear again commented, "Ok, I think this is definitely grosser than when you twisted that vampire's head off."  
  
"I don't know, niblet. That was pretty disgusting."  
  
Both he and Faith turned to look at the two.  
  
"Dawn." He said rather stupidly, not sure if it was caused by what had just happened with Faith--and a part of his mind noted that neither of them had let go of the other--or by Dawn's sudden and rather different appearance.  
  
"Dawn," Faith repeated. He realized she didn't sound surprised to see the girl. "Nice threads."  
  
"Thanks." Dawn dropped the gym bag on the floor and grinned at them both.  
  
She seemed taller to him, then he saw that she was wearing boots, the kind Buffy used to wear. Suddenly he realized that everything about her was different. She seemed older, tougher. He got up in rush, nearly dumping Faith on the floor. "Dear God, Spike. What have you done?" He was already rushing the vampire when Dawn got between them.  
  
"Giles, no. It's not him. He didn't do anything to me."  
  
He stopped, uncertain what she meant.  
  
"I think I understand." Faith stalked by him, a strange smile on her face. He saw Spike back up as the two women began to circle each other.  
  
"Faith, no!" Giles was suddenly very afraid.  
  
"Leave them," Spike's voice had an unfamiliar ring of authority.  
  
"It's ok, Giles." Faith's voice was utterly calm as she launched herself at Dawn.  
  
Giles watched, comprehension coming quickly as he watched the two spar. They were evenly matched. When they finally separated, both slayers were breathing hard.  
  
Faith grinned at him. "I must have lost my touch in prison." She held out her hand to Dawn. "Welcome to the club, you poor thing."  
  
Dawn returned the grip firmly. "Thanks. And you didn't lose your touch. You're the hardest fight I've had so far."  
  
"We think it is that whole key thing," Spike explained helpfully. "We noticed it first in training. But bugger, you should see her when she hunts. Just amazing. Has this whole otherworldly psychic thing going. Very effective. Hybrid slayers may be the answer."  
  
Giles gave him an odd look.  
  
Dawn moved to Spike's side. "A slayer needs her watcher, right?"  
  
Faith started to laugh.  
  
Giles glared at her. He was still trying to process that she had known all along that Dawn was with Spike and hadn't told him.  
  
She seemed to read his mind, her expression turned serious. "I made a promise. I wanted to tell you. I probably would have just now. Or later anyway." Her grin returned. "If we hadn't been interrupted."  
  
He realized that trying to stay mad at her was a losing proposition.  
  
She stepped to his side. "Giles, it's perfect. Can't you just see their faces when you tell the Council that a vampire is their newest watcher?"  
  
Her amusement was contagious. He didn't want to, but he found himself grinning. Not just at the irony of an undead watcher. He knew that Dawn's new status would change everything. There would be no move to England. And the Council would have to find a way to convince Hank Summers to let his daughter stay in Sunnydale. Where she belonged. Where they all belonged.  
  
Spike came up, put an arm around his shoulder. "I feel like we're brothers already, Rupert, what with me being chained in your bathtub for all that time.  
  
Faith raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"It's not what it sounds like."  
  
She laughed. "I'm sure you'll tell me all about it...later."  
  
The look she gave him was pure evil. Giles suddenly wished desperately that they were alone.  
  
"So," Spike said, as he pulled out a flask and headed for the microwave. "Got any wheatabix?"  
  
  
  
TBC 


	2. Survival

Gravity  
  
Chapter 2: Survival  
  
by Djinn  
  
It was cold and dark and Faith couldn't see her hand in front of her face. "Just friggin' great," she cursed. She turned slowly, trying to find some light in the darkness. There was none.  
  
"Giles?" she called hopefully. "I can't see anything."  
  
He didn't answer.  
  
"Dawn? Spike?"  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Willow? Tara?"  
  
They didn't answer. She drew the line at calling for Xander or his new girlfriend.  
  
"So I'm all alone here?" she wondered out loud.  
  
"Not exactly," a voice said just behind her.  
  
She whipped around, hand already turning into a fist, ready to strike. She pulled back with a quick intake of breath.  
  
Buffy stood there, surrounded by a dim green light.  
  
"God, B, you about gave me a heart attack."  
  
Buffy said nothing, just looked at her.  
  
Something's not right, Faith thought. Should Buffy be here? Realization hit. "Aren't you dead?"  
  
Buffy frowned. "I don't think death is what this is. Do you?"  
  
Faith shrugged. "Beats me. Where are we anyway?"  
  
Buffy moved away from her. "I don't know." She turned back to Faith, her look forlorn, lost. "I don't like it. I want to go home."  
  
Faith could feel the other slayer's loneliness and pain battering up against her. It was almost too much to bear. "Buffy, stop it."  
  
"Help me."  
  
"I don't know how to help you," she said, feeling desperate as the pain increased.  
  
"You have to. You have to help me!"  
  
The loneliness was unimaginable. "Buffy, stop it," she screamed.  
  
"Faith!"  
  
She felt hands shaking her. She instinctively struck out, didn't connect. The hands shook her again.  
  
She jerked awake, saw Giles' face in front of her. Realized she was safe in the bed she shared with him.  
  
"Faith? Are you alright?"  
  
"Giles?" She remembered the dream, then him waking her. "Did I hit you?" She felt confused, off balance. "Did I hurt you?"  
  
He laughed quietly. "No. I've become quite proficient at ducking. It's rather a dicey proposition waking you up in the mornings, you know."  
  
She smiled for a moment, until the memory of the dream threatened again. "Giles. I saw Buffy." She saw his eyes narrow. "I talked to her. And it didn't feel like a dream, Giles. It felt real. She seemed real."  
  
"Where was she?"  
  
"I don't know. It was dark. All dark. Except for her. She was glowing sort of green."  
  
"Glowing?"  
  
Faith nodded. "She wanted me to help her get home. I couldn't. I didn't know how." She pushed herself up to a sitting position, tried to shake the dream. "It was so real."  
  
He sat up too. Reached over and smoothed her hair. "We've all been dreaming of Buffy."  
  
"Well yeah. You all loved her. But I didn't. So why am I dreaming of her?"  
  
"You never dream of her?"  
  
Faith thought back. "I think I might have when I was in the coma. I remember being so scared of her. She was after me. Every time, she'd kill the Mayor and then she'd come after me." She was quiet for a moment. "And she did."  
  
He nodded slowly. "She said you were in her dream when she was near death after letting Angel feed on her. You gave her the secret to stopping the Mayor. And it worked. There's a connection between you two."  
  
"You think this is a slayer dream?"  
  
He sighed. "I don't know." His voice was a mixture of hope and dread.  
  
She reached out, touched his hand. "If she's not dead, where is she?"  
  
"I'm not sure," he replied quickly, but it looked like he had his suspicions.  
  
----------------------  
  
Willow heard the sounds of sparring from inside the training room as she and Tara settled in at the table.  
  
"Bloody hell, Dawn, block me!" Spike sounded annoyed.  
  
Spike as watcher. Willow took a second to think about that. Found she still couldn't really comprehend it.  
  
"Dawn!" The vampire's voice rose then there was the sound of a body hitting the mats hard.  
  
Willow tried to ignore her curiosity as she buried her head in a text on incantations. The words began to blur as she tried to hear what was going on in the next room.  
  
"I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you watched," Tara offered softly.  
  
Willow smiled and touched her lover's shoulder as she rose. "You know me too well."  
  
"That's fine with me," the other witch grinned lovingly.  
  
Willow walked quietly into the training room, expecting to see Spike getting the worst of the deal. But it was Dawn who was picking herself off the mats.  
  
"What the hell is the matter with you?" Spike paced angrily. "You go out there like this and you'll last all of a minute."  
  
Dawn shrugged, her irritation clear. "I'm just distracted. It happens. Didn't want to train now anyhow."  
  
She's been spending too much time with Faith, Willow thought as she watched the young girl. Her sullen nonchalance was a mirror image of the other slayer. With a little bit of teenager thrown in. Ok, Willow corrected, a lot of teenager. It probably wasn't fair to blame Faith for this. Especially when Dawn spent a lot more time with Spike than with the other slayer. Willow wasn't entirely sure what Faith did with her free time. She wondered if she should be worried about that.  
  
"Don't care if you don't want to train. Some night you won't want to patrol either. Doesn't give you an excuse for being on the wrong end of a thrashing."  
  
"Fine." She stalked back to where he stood, finally noticed Willow. "Hey."  
  
"Hey," Willow returned as she watched Dawn circle Spike.  
  
A second later Dawn was on the mats again.  
  
Spike lost it. "What. Is. Your. Problem?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Something is. You aren't like this. Did something happen at school? With your Dad? He's not trying to take you away again is he?"  
  
"No, nothing's wrong, Spike. I told you that."  
  
"And I don't believe that, Niblet. You tell me when you're serious about this." He walked out of the room.  
  
"Crap," Dawn muttered as she pushed herself off the mat.  
  
Willow moved toward her. "He's just scared, Dawn. He doesn't want anything to happen to you."  
  
"I know. I'm just not used to having him mad at me." Dawn's face was a mask of misery.  
  
Willow touched her cheek. "What's really wrong?"  
  
"It was just a dream. I don't know why I'm letting it get to me."  
  
A dream. Willow was suddenly worried. "There are dreams and then there are slayer dreams, Dawn. What was it about?"  
  
"Buffy."  
  
Willow had seen her friend in dreams too. It was jarring, a reminder of how much she missed Buffy. She could only imagine how much worse it was for Dawn. She pulled the younger girl into a hug. "I know it's hard, Dawnie, but it'll get better, it has to."  
  
Dawn pulled away. "No, it wasn't that kind of dream. She wanted me to help her. To help her get home. I don't think she's really dead."  
  
Willow felt a surge of hope that she tried to suppress. "We buried her body. She's gone, Dawn."  
  
"Yeah, her body is gone, but what about her soul? I'm telling you she's trapped somewhere."  
  
"But where?"  
  
"In the portal," a new voice chimed in.  
  
Willow turned, felt Dawn move with her. Neither of them had heard Giles and Faith come in.  
  
"I believe Buffy is caught in the portal," Giles repeated. "And we need to get her out."  
  
----------------------  
  
Time passed slowly inside the portal. There were no shifts from day to night, no turnings from one month to another. Buffy was utterly alone.  
  
When she had sacrificed herself for Dawn, she had expected to die. Had even felt peace at the thought. But this wasn't death. This wasn't life either. She feared that she had become part of the portal, just one more jumble of energy in the chaotic blackness that was the gateway. The idea terrified her.  
  
Don't panic, she ordered herself firmly. She was amazed that she was still sentient enough, separate enough to order anything.  
  
She had to get out of this place. Even if it was only to die for real. She knew she'd go mad if she spent much more time here. But she couldn't get out on her own. She needed help. Willow, or Giles. She had tried to find them in their dreams but had not succeeded.  
  
It had never occurred to her to try the next slayer, or the existing one either. Her successor wouldn't even know her, and Faith wouldn't care. So it had been a surprise when both of them had shown up in her prison. Faith had seemed different, stronger yet less wild somehow. But the other slayer...it had been a shock to see who had replaced her. She had felt rage that her sacrifice had only resulted in having Dawn take her place. It was all wrong.  
  
But that didn't matter now. All that was important was getting free. She hoped she was getting through to the slayers. She hoped that they would have the sense to go to Giles or to Willow.  
  
If death is my gift, why can't I give it to myself, she ranted, secretly afraid that the first slayer had deliberately misled her. That it had all been a way to trap her here, in this no-man's land between life and death. The way the first slayer had wanted her to be. Alone.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
"Xander, wait up." Dawn trotted to catch her friend.  
  
"Hey, Dawnster." Xander grinned at her. "Whatcha doing down in this part of town? I woulda figured you for the school yard about now."  
  
"Teacher work day. They get a half day off. I was training for a while. Then I decided to meet you. Giles wants to talk to us all."  
  
"I know. Anya called, said to come to the Magic Box. This isn't the best route though." He eyed the dilapidated buildings along their way. "Not too safe. Well, unless you're a slayer, I mean."  
  
"Spike might disagree with you, I sucked at training today." She laughed. "But you still sound surprised when you say that I'm the slayer. Is it that hard to believe?"  
  
"No. I mean I believe it. I've seen you kick some serious vampire butt since you and the watcher from hell rode back into town. But dealing with you being the slayer is another thing altogether."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"So how are you doing with the whole superpower secret identity thing?"  
  
She shrugged. "I'm ok. I mean I wasn't exactly part of the popular crowd anyway. And you should see me in PE. I so rock. I'm thinking of going out for a team."  
  
"Now, grasshopper, your powers must be only used to help others." Xander struck a sage-like pose.  
  
She giggled. "Ok, master. No sports." They walked along quietly for a few moments.  
  
Dawn thought of her sister. "I understand her better." At his look, she clarified, "What Buffy was feeling, why she acted the way she did. I think it's going to be really hard to be a slayer." The last part came out as a whisper.  
  
She could tell he wanted to disagree with her, to encourage her. But he didn't want to lie.  
  
"Yeah, it probably will be."  
  
"I mean look at Faith."  
  
"I'd rather not." His voice was bitter.  
  
Dawn shot him a look. He was still scared of the older slayer. "She's changed, Xander."  
  
"Sure she has."  
  
"No, I mean it. She's different now."  
  
Xander started to walk faster. Anger and unhappiness were clear when he spoke. "Oh yeah. Sure she has. She's out there killing vamps with the same wicked zest she always had. It's just a matter of time before she snaps again."  
  
"I don't think so. Neither does Spike."  
  
Xander shook his head in disbelief. "What? That's supposed to make me feel better? She's ok because Spike says so? What is that? Professional courtesy from one homicidal maniac to another?"  
  
"That's not fair and you know it."  
  
"Right." He stopped her as they rounded the corner to the shop. "Dawn...you and Spike...you're not ummm..."  
  
"Not what?"  
  
"You know..." He made a crude but unmistakable gesture.  
  
"I'm sure!" Dawn punched him in the arm.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"Well god, Xander. I mean I used to have a crush on him but he's still totally hung up on Buffy."  
  
Xander smiled in relief as he rubbed his sore arm. "Good. And I suppose it's against the rules and all. Watchers and slayers doing the nasty."  
  
"I hope not. I wouldn't want Faith and Giles to get..." Dawn broke off, realizing too late what she was saying.  
  
His look was beyond incredulous. "Faith. And Giles?"  
  
"That's not what I meant."  
  
He clearly did not believe her.  
  
"Forget I said anything, ok?" Damn, she thought, when would she learn to think before she spoke?  
  
"No way, Dawn. You can't tell me something like that and expect me to forget it." He seemed lost in thought for a moment, his face tightening. "Is Giles out of his mind?"  
  
Dawn felt a need to protect both Giles and her fellow slayer. "I think he loves her."  
  
"Well I hope he loves her just as much when she's strangling the life out of him someday."  
  
"Xander..."  
  
The door the shop opened and Anya stepped out. "Would you two hurry up, Giles is getting annoying."  
  
Xander started to walk away.  
  
Dawn hissed at him, "Please. Please don't say anything to anyone, ok?"  
  
"Sure Dawn. Right. Mum's the word." He stalked off to kiss Anya hello.  
  
She watched as Anya scowled, clearly aware that something was wrong. I give it twenty-four hours before everyone knows, Dawn thought guiltily. The she brightened. Giles and Faith would probably blame Spike and his big mouth.  
  
"Dawn, come on." Anya's voice was not friendly.  
  
"Ok, ok," she yelled, hurrying to the door, her worries over Faith and Giles supplanted by thoughts of Buffy.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Giles watched in satisfaction as all the Scoobies assembled. Dawn was just locking the door and he waited for her to join them. He felt an excitement, a purpose flood him. Buffy might be alive or nearly so.  
  
His eyes turned to Faith. She was sitting stiffly, almost sullenly. She sensed his gaze and the eyes that met his were like stone. Then they softened. He gave her a gentle smile before turning back to the others.  
  
Xander was staring at him, an emotion that Giles couldn't identify and didn't want to try written on his face.  
  
"Dawn," Spike's voice startled him. "Get in here already."  
  
The young slayer shuffled in and sat with her watcher. Giles found that very hard to fathom, any vampire but especially William the Bloody as watcher. The Council was not at all happy about this. The only thing that had kept Spike alive was their fear that Dawn Summers would be as loyal and unpredictable as her sister had been. They couldn't afford to lose control again.  
  
"All right, we're all here. For those who don't know, Faith and Dawn have been dreaming about Buffy. They believe she is trapped somewhere alone in a dark place."  
  
"So? Humans dream." Anya was clearly unimpressed.  
  
"Slayers' dreams are different, "Xander explained.  
  
"Different how? Buffy is still dead." She looked around at the faces, most of them shining with new hope. "We saw her die, remember? The big swan dive to eternity."  
  
"Anya," Giles tried to interrupt her.  
  
"No! For months now everything has been about Buffy. How sad you all are, how you miss her. Well I'm sad too. But life has to go on. You have to give her up."  
  
"Why? So we can all focus on your wedding plans?" Willow's voice was mean.  
  
"No. I just don't want to see you spend time and energy trying to bring her back if it won't work and will just make everyone all sad again."  
  
"We don't even know where Buffy is," Tara offered softly. "Maybe Anya is right."  
  
"No, she's bloody well not," Spike was on his feet. "If there's even a chance..."  
  
"What? You spend the next fifty years trying to get a dead woman back?" Anya's voice rose.  
  
"Well why not? I've got the time."  
  
"And you've got Dawn," Tara reminded him calmly. "I liked Buffy a lot, but maybe it is time to let her go, to let her rest in peace."  
  
"She's not in peace. She never will be if we leave her there. And what will it mean for me and Dawn if the dreams don't let up?" Faith's unexpected comment surprised Giles as much as the others.  
  
There was silence. Giles decided to wrestle back control of the meeting. "Right then. That is the crux of the matter. How do we help her find peace?" He turned to Anya. "No one is saying that we're going to bring her back to life. God knows I'd like that. I think we all would." He glanced at Faith, saw her face tighten. "But we do need to help her soul move on."  
  
"How?" Xander seemed tired of talk. "What do we do?"  
  
"For now, research." Giles pointed to the books he'd stacked on the table.  
  
The others groaned.  
  
He smiled, amused in spite of the nature of the task. "These our are normal references. If we don't find anything here we move on to the rest of the volumes."  
  
"But what are we looking for?" Tara asked.  
  
"I believe Buffy is trapped in the portal. We don't know anything about it really or about what happened to it when she closed it down. Anything you can find will be helpful."  
  
"We should look for information on those monks too," Willow glanced at Dawn, smiled as she went on. "They knew how to make energy into flesh. Maybe that knowledge isn't completely lost?"  
  
"You want to use what they knew to bring Buffy back? The same way they made me?" Dawn's voice was hopeful.  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
Giles studied the witch. She was becoming so powerful. It was possible that if they found the methods she might be able to do this. "Good thinking, Willow."  
  
She smiled gratefully and for a moment he saw the gawky and unsure teenager he had first known.  
  
"Well, what are we waiting for," Spike said impatiently as he brushed past Giles and grabbed a book. "Let's get started."  
  
------------------  
  
Faith tried to concentrate on the book in front of her. The words kept blurring. She shook her head. It didn't help. She wasn't helping. Didn't want to. Not for this. Not to bring Buffy back. Not to go back to that life.  
  
She slammed the book down, kicked her chair back, startling the others. "I'm outta here."  
  
She was through the training room and at the alley door when she heard Giles' voice behind her.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Out to patrol," she lied.  
  
"Ah."  
  
She started to open the door, but his soft question stopped her.  
  
"Are you coming back?"  
  
She turned to him. Was surprised to realize she had started to cry. "No."  
  
He moved to her slowly, his voice infinitely gentle. "Why not?"  
  
"You won't need me." She forced her eyes to meet his. "I know you...and Willow. You won't stop until you have Buffy back with you. Not just at peace. You want her back. In the flesh."  
  
He nodded. "Yes. I do."  
  
"And there isn't any place for me then. Not with B back. All of you barely tolerate me now."  
  
He moved closer. "I wouldn't call what we've been doing tolerance."  
  
She tried to wrap bravado around her heart, "What? The sex? Oh yeah, like that meant anything."  
  
She turned to go again; sure he wouldn't try to stop her.  
  
"It meant a great deal to me, Faith." His arm thrust out and closed the door she had just started to open. "A very great deal."  
  
She turned angrily, was surprised to see something wild and dark in his eyes. "You think you can take me?"  
  
He shook his head slowly, his expression becoming less dangerous. "Of course not. We both know that."  
  
Her voice shook as she looked down. "It will all just happen again, Giles. The slaying...I still enjoy it."  
  
His hand brushed the hair off her face. "I know. You're a hunter, it's what you were made for."  
  
"But it's what got me in trouble last time. Liking it too much."  
  
"You've changed."  
  
"Nobody believes that except you." She wiped a tear away angrily.  
  
"Dawn does. I've seen how you look out for her. I've seen you seemingly lost in the moment of the kill but still able to take the time to warn her or throw her a weapon. You aren't the mindless killer you fear you'll become again. You are exactly what you were called to be: a slayer, doing her job, helping another to learn hers."  
  
She laughed scornfully, "And you think Buffy will let me near her sister when she gets back."  
  
"I don't think it will be up to Buffy. Dawn will learn from whomever she chooses. Just as she picked her own watcher. She is as stubborn as her sister in that sense. And she looks up to you. In a way she never did with Buffy."  
  
Faith considered that. She couldn't think of anyone that had ever looked up to her before. "But Buffy..."  
  
"This isn't about Buffy. This is about you, Faith." He moved away from her a bit, making it clear she could open the door if she wanted to. "This is your home now, Faith. It has been for a long time."  
  
"What? Since I first got here? I don't think so."  
  
"Since the Mayor." At her look of shock, he continued. "I don't mean that I don't consider him evil, because I most certainly do. But he did one good thing among all that evil. He taught you what it feels like to be loved. Unconditionally, without any sordid expectations. He was the father you never had. And he loved you. So much so that we were able to use that love to destroy him. I think between him and Angel's compassion, you were able to find your way back to yourself."  
  
She walked to him, put her hands on his chest. "Giles, I'll never be like Buffy."  
  
"I should hope not. Much as I love her, one is enough." He smiled playfully. "And I couldn't do this."  
  
His lips touched her in the way she had come to treasure. Softly but with passion. She felt herself giving in to this man. Marveled at his power over her. Before she knew him she had counted the time she spent with a lover in hours. Now, with him, she could count the months.  
  
His voice was very low. "Faith, I want you to know something. If it's us...if you want to stop this, you just have to say the word. I'll still be your watcher. You must know that."  
  
"Is this your way of saying you're tired of me?" Her voice was teasing.  
  
His was still serious. "I'm a good deal older than you, Faith. And I don't lead a very exciting life, certainly not for a vibrant young woman."  
  
She smiled, charmed as always by his manner. "I've had just about all the excitement I can stand." She realized that what she had just said sounded like an insult. "Not that I mean you are boring. Because I don't." She began to back him up, toward the small room that held the weapons. "I know you aren't that, I see the fire inside you when I touch you, when you touch me."  
  
He reached back, opened the door and pulled her inside. "Don't leave us, Faith. Don't leave me."  
  
"I don't think anybody has ever asked me not to go," she said with a smile, as she let him lower her to the floor. Next time we'll have to pull a mat in with us, she thought as his mouth found hers. She kicked the door shut with her foot.  
  
"I love you," he whispered fiercely.  
  
She froze. Remembered the moment with Riley, when he thought she was Buffy. Felt panic coming on again.  
  
"Faith," he said again, "I love you."  
  
Me. He loves me, she thought in wonder. Realized that it meant everything to know that. Also realized what this feeling was that had been growing inside of her for him. "I love you too, Giles."  
  
-------------------------------  
  
"I'd say whatever is wrong, is ok now," Tara said as they all listened to the silence coming from the training room. It was punctuated with the slam of a door, then more silence.  
  
"Either that, or one of them is dead," Anya offered.  
  
"Or just naked," Xander said sarcastically.  
  
Three pairs of eyes turned to him. Two others looked at each other.  
  
"Braniac here figured it out?" Spike asked Dawn suspiciously. "Or has someone been doing a little too much talking?"  
  
"I didn't mean to."  
  
"She didn't," Xander backed her up. "Just sort of came out."  
  
Anya was still processing. "You mean Giles and Faith are having sex in there?"  
  
"Trust you to get right to the heart of the matter," Willow said.  
  
Tara nudged her. "I know you don't all like her. I mean I didn't either when I first met her. But she seems different now. Her energy is all smooth." Everyone but Willow looked at her in confusion. "When she took over Buffy's body, her personality, I mean even with the confusion of being in somebody else's form, was all disjointed, uneven. Like she had no idea who or what she really was. Now it isn't like that. It just gets smoother and stronger the longer she is with us...but probably most of all with him."  
  
They didn't look convinced.  
  
Tara looked at Willow. "We really aren't in a position to question Mr. Giles' right to make an unconventional choice, are we?"  
  
"Question Giles?" Anya countered. "What about Faith? He's old enough to be her father."  
  
"And you're old enough to be Xander's great to the nth power grandma, Anya. So what's your point?" Spike asked defensively. "Age is hardly the issue."  
  
"Projecting much, Spike?" Xander wrapped his arms around Anya. "It's ok An, I like older women."  
  
Anya laughed as she relaxed into him. "I just mean that while it may not make sense, it's ok with me if they want to be lovers."  
  
"I'm sure Giles will be so relieved that you approve," Willow replied with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"I think Mr. Giles will be much happier if none of us mention this," Tara said softly. "And don't we have some research to do?"  
  
Anya leaned into Xander and whispered something.  
  
He stood up, pulling her with him. "We just remembered there might be books and other useful stuff in the storage room. Downstairs. We'll go look." He pulled Anya behind him.  
  
"It may be a while," she said brusquely. "Don't come down."  
  
"Three guesses what they're going to do," Dawn offered as they disappeared down the stairs. She looked at the two witches. "There's still the loft or the bathroom if you two need to go off somewhere."  
  
"We're fine," Willow laughed as she took Tara's hand in hers and turned back to her book.  
  
Tara felt Willow squeeze her hand and the enormous love she held for the other witch flooded through her. "Yeah, we're fine." She looked sternly at Spike and Dawn. "Don't you two have something to do?"  
  
"Right." "Uh huh." They both picked up books and started to read.  
  
In the silence, they could all hear some interesting sounds from the training room and downstairs. Tara got up quickly and flipped on the cd player. New Age music filled the room, muffling any other sounds. "Now get to work," she said seriously. "We have a friend to get back."  
  
---------------------------  
  
It seemed darker in the portal. If that was possible. Buffy could feel it pulling at her. Trying to make her one with it. Trying to make her lose hold on herself, on her uniqueness.  
  
She fought it. But she did not think she could hold out much longer.  
  
Please help me, she whispered into the blackness, not sure that anyone could hear her, much less help her as she tried to fight off the portal's call.  
  
TBC 


	3. Surrender

Gravity  
  
Chapter 3 - Surrender  
  
  
  
Dawn hated to admit it but she was bored. If she had to look at one more musty old magic book she was going to scream. She snuck a look at the rest of the Scoobies. Willow was taking copious notes. Tara was looking something up in a dictionary of magical terms. Spike was translating bits of an obscure Latin text. She was surprised that he seemed to be getting into it. Xander and Anya were both leafing intently through the first two of a new stack that Giles had brought in from his apartment. And the watcher was just walking through the door with another box of books.  
  
She sighed. Why couldn't she concentrate? When Giles had called them together several weeks ago and began this hunt, she had searched the old works for clues as eagerly as the others. It was for Buffy, and she would do anything in her power to get her sister back. But Dawn was beginning to realize she just wasn't cut out to be research girl.  
  
Not that she didn't have plenty of incentive. The dreams were becoming more frequent and very intense. Dawn woke from them feeling as if she'd never gone to sleep. And the pain of her sister's loneliness and fear haunted her during the day.  
  
She looked over at Faith, who looked exhausted too. In fact she was falling asleep.  
  
"Faith," Dawn hissed. "Let's get outta here.'  
  
The older slayer perked up instantly. She shook her head as if clearing out the cobwebs and stood, announcing in a voice that brooked no argument, "Patrol time. Dawn and I hate to ditch, but you know...chosen two and all that."  
  
Spike looked up, his expression torn.  
  
Dawn could tell that he believed he was making progress with the translation. "Stay here and finish what you're doing. We'll be fine."  
  
He held her gaze for a long moment then, seemingly satisfied that she was on her game, nodded and turned back to his work.  
  
Giles looked down from the bookshelves in the loft. "Be careful." His tone held confidence in them despite the warning.  
  
They both nodded and hurried past the others and out the front door. Faith immediately headed to the Espresso Pump. She ordered double shots for them both. Dawn moved ahead of her to pay the tab. She knew that Faith didn't like to borrow from Giles and didn't have any of her own funds, although her watcher was working on that. According to Wesley, Faith's first watcher had left a small amount of money to 'her ward' in her will. It was being held by the Council, but Giles was working to get it released.  
  
"Thanks," Faith smiled at her. "I'll pay you back."  
  
"Whatever." Dawn tossed her some sugar packets and added some to her own drink. "You as tired as I am?"  
  
"These damn dreams. I keep telling B to leave me alone, that we're doing what we can. But it doesn't seem to help."  
  
"I know," Dawn followed her to a high table. "The last couple of nights though..." she trailed off, not wanting to put into words what she feared.  
  
"I know. She's losing strength."  
  
"Yeah." They both fell silent for a second, then Dawn whispered, "Do you want her back, Faith?"  
  
The other slayer didn't hesitate or look away. "No." She saw Dawn flinch and continued seriously, "But you do. And Giles does. And I care about both of you. If what you need to make you happy is Buffy, then I'll work like hell to get her back."  
  
Dawn smiled. "You said that so easily. That you care for us."  
  
Faith rolled her eyes. "Don't get all mushy on me or I'll toss you into that wall."  
  
"Like you could," Dawn giggled.  
  
"You think I couldn't?" Faith pretended to be mad but her eyes gave her away.  
  
"I think you wouldn't," Dawn answered solemnly. "I know you wouldn't. I trust you."  
  
Faith looked down and fiddled with the empty sugar packets.  
  
Dawn continued, "I know you don't like sharing and all, but I just want you to know that I don't think I could have handled all this, I mean the slayer thing, without you. You mean a lot to me too, is all." She grabbed her cup and rose quickly, tossing it in the trash before looking back at Faith. She pretended not to notice how bright the other slayer's eyes looked. "You coming or what?"  
  
"Yeah," Faith blinked hard several times. "I'm coming."  
  
-----------------------------  
  
"Any progress?" Giles asked Spike a few hours after the two slayers had left.  
  
"I don't know," the vampire mused.  
  
He nibbled on the pen while he looked down at the text. His normally cocky attitude was abandoned for the moment, and Giles realized that at some point, Spike might have been a bit of a scholar.  
  
"See here. And here." The vampire pointed to several phrases. "I've never seen these words used like this before. The rest is pretty rudimentary magic, but these are bollixing me. And I'm just not sure if they are crucial to our understanding of it or not. If they are, this could be an important document for us."  
  
Giles studied the words that Spike was having trouble with. He didn't recognize the usage either. He walked over to the counter and dialed the phone, then moved back with it to where Spike sat. "Oh hello, Cordelia? Yes, it's Giles. I'm fine, thank you for...no, Faith hasn't killed any of us yet. No, I don't expect her to. No I...listen, is Wesley there? Well Angel then? No, I don't need a gun. Oh, I see. No, I don't think he can help. Yes, well, have Wesley or Angel call me as soon as they get in, will you? Thanks. Good...what? No, I haven't seen that commercial. Yes of course, I'll be sure to look for it. Right then. Good-bye."  
  
He clicked off the phone with a sigh of relief and realized that everyone in the room was watching him with varying degrees of amusement.  
  
Xander shook his head in mock disbelief. "I give you Cordelia Chase. God broke the mold making that one."  
  
"You think Angel or Wesley might know what this means?" Spike asked. "Don't know about your Wesley fellow, but Angel never struck me as the academic type."  
  
"Perhaps not, but I think that with his soul came a desire to help, to understand. He's had access in the past to volumes that were very helpful."  
  
Spike shrugged, "If you think the poofter can help. I'm just saying..."  
  
Xander sighed dramatically. "Man does this moment suck. If I insult Angel, I have to side with Spike. If I don't agree with the Bizarro Watcher, then I'm choosing to pass up an opportunity to rag on dead boy."  
  
Spike glared. "You cannot possibly compare me to that wanker."  
  
"You've got me there," Xander agreed as he went back to his book.  
  
Willow stood up and walked to the watchers. "Give me the phrases. I'll see if the Net has anything on them." She smiled as she teased Giles, "Unless you want to do the search this time?"  
  
"No," he rushed to assure her. "That's fine. You go ahead." He turned and headed for the loft. "The rest of us back to work, right?"  
  
-----------------------------  
  
"Jerk!" Faith thrust savagely and the vampire went up in a cloud of dust. She looked at her shirt. The vamp had ripped half of her sleeve off. "Damn it. This was my favorite."  
  
"Quit whining," Dawn said breathlessly as she parried a blow from another vampire. A third was getting up slowly from where it had landed when Faith had kicked it. "It's just a shirt. And a little help here would be nice."  
  
Faith pretended to examine the wreckage of her sleeve. She was actually studying Dawn's fighting style, assessing how she was handling herself. Her roundhouse was good, but her jabs were sloppy. They would have to work on those the next time they trained together. Faith wondered when it had become second nature for her to pay attention to someone else this way.  
  
"Hey!" Dawn yelled angrily. She stabbed the vampire and lost control of the stake. It disappeared with her opponent.  
  
"Sloppy," Faith chided. The third vampire was already moving toward Dawn.  
  
"He totally ruined this jacket. I love this jacket."  
  
"What happened to 'it's just a shirt'?"  
  
"Faith, dammit, a stake would be nice."  
  
Sloppy and becoming too dependent, Faith decided. She looked around, counted a least three nearby objects that could serve. "Fresh out, Squirt."  
  
"Faith!" Dawn looked panicky as she traded blows with the last vampire.  
  
"I won't always be here. You won't always have a stake. Be creative, Dawn."  
  
"Damn you!" Dawn yelled, hitting viciously and buying herself some breathing room.  
  
"You talking to him or me?" Faith asked with a laugh. She moved her own stake into throwing position.  
  
"I'm not sure." Dawn looked around then ran to her left and pulled down a branch from a nearby tree. Breaking it off, she turned and slammed it hard into the vampire who had come up fast behind her.  
  
At the same moment, just in case, Faith let her stake fly. Dawn pulled the branch out of the vampire before he exploded into dust. Faith's weapon was history.  
  
"Sloppy," Dawn laughed. "And thanks."  
  
Faith shrugged. She had never seen Dawn fight so poorly. For a new slayer, the girl was normally incredibly inventive and effective. The dreams were taking too much of a toll on Dawn, and probably on herself.  
  
The younger girl seemed to be reading her mind. "I pretty much sucked tonight, huh?"  
  
"You're just tired."  
  
"So are you, but you didn't stop thinking."  
  
"I've had more experience, had to think to survive. I never had the luxury of another slayer being there to depend on."  
  
"What about Buffy?"  
  
Faith thought back to all the times she and Buffy had slayed together. "I think that I was so busy trying to prove myself as good as her that I could never admit I needed the help."  
  
Dawn nodded. "I get that." She threw the branch down. "I think maybe if she were here, I'd feel kinda the same way." She looked down.  
  
Faith had not considered that Dawn might share her inferiority complex when it came to Buffy. "Maybe so. But you know what, kid. If she comes back, we'll be the chosen three. And you and me, we'll be the majority." She grinned wickedly.  
  
Dawn giggled.  
  
The sound reminded Faith how young the other girl really was. How innocent. Faith knew that no matter how much she might resent Buffy if she did come back, they would be united by one thing. They both loved Dawn.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
The portal no longer seemed dark to Buffy. As it twisted its hold on her, she could see the bright lights held within. Lights that seemed neither good nor evil. She feared them anyway. They promised oblivion.  
  
"Surrender," they seemed to whisper.  
  
"No," was all she could manage.  
  
She thought frantically of Dawn, waited for her to come. But she did not appear. Faith then, she thought, calling to the dark-haired slayer.  
  
Faith arrived quickly and not in a good mood. "Buffy, you have to let us sleep. We can't help you if you destroy us."  
  
Buffy felt panic fill her. Faith didn't want to stay with her, to help her. Maybe she was trying to keep Buffy in the portal. She rushed her enemy, lashed out with limbs that had no substance.  
  
Faith flinched as the energy hit her. "I don't want to fight you, B."  
  
Buffy didn't believe her. She attacked again and again. Faith stood mute.  
  
Buffy could feel her strength failing. She retreated. "Help me."  
  
"We're trying. Just hold on."  
  
"Help me!" Buffy screamed as she felt the portal sense her weakness and dig farther into her energy.  
  
Faith disappeared. Buffy was alone again.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Giles watched Faith as she slept. He could tell she was dreaming by the small jerks and cries she gave out. He debated waking her. She was often upset and disoriented if he did. Better to let her pull herself out of the experience.  
  
He studied her face. She was clearly not enjoying the dream. She had said the times with Buffy were getting worse. For both her and Dawn. Much as he loved his first slayer, he didn't want to lose the current two to her cause.  
  
If they couldn't get Buffy free soon he feared they would truly lose her forever. But would that happen before she had so exhausted Dawn and Faith that they could no longer effectively patrol? He had debated calling them off the nightly hunt, but he knew what that would do to Faith, how edgy she would become. Dawn seemed to have developed the same excess energy since being called. Sitting around would do neither any good.  
  
Faith had told him how the slaying had gone earlier that night, how tired Dawn had seemed. He decided that Spike, no matter how useful he was turning out to be in the research department, needed to stick close to the slayers.  
  
Giles settled back down next to Faith. Even in the midst of the dream, she still reacted to his presence, pushing herself against him till there was no division between their bodies. How different she was from when this relationship had first begun. Then she had been wary, moving away from his touches with an instinctive fear. It had been slow, but she had come to trust him. She reminded him of an injured falcon he had rescued long ago as a boy. It had taken time, but eventually the bird had come to trust him. It was a bad analogy though, Giles thought ruefully. The falcon, once healed, had flown away without a backward glance. He hoped Faith would not be so quick to leave him.  
  
"Unnh!" she jerked violently as she woke but did not strike out. That too had changed.  
  
"Another dream?" he murmured into her ears, tightening his arm around her.  
  
"Uh-huh. She's losing it, Giles." Her sleepy voice sounded somewhat sad.  
  
"I know. We haven't much time. Hopefully Angel or Wesley will be able to help us with the passages Spike found."  
  
She nodded, already falling back to sleep. "Angel's a good guy."  
  
For a moment, he felt a pang of jealousy. He was unsure of the extent of Faith's feelings for the vampire. Then he realized how silly he was being. She was sharing his bed, not Angel's. But still he wondered if that would be the case if the curse didn't prevent Angel from indulging in certain pleasures. It doesn't matter, he told himself resolutely. The curse is fact and Faith is here.  
  
Smiling at his own insecurity, he buried his head in Faith's hair and drifted off to sleep.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Dawn wandered the downstairs restlessly. She was tired, exhausted really. But she didn't want to sleep. Didn't want to face Buffy, or whatever her sister was becoming.  
  
The house was quiet. Willow and Tara had gone to bed hours earlier. She was glad they had moved in, enjoyed having them around and not just because of the way they tended to mother her. They were fun. But not right now. They didn't even know she was down here.  
  
Spike was out or she would have gone down to the basement. He had moved in also, mostly at her insistence. She hadn't liked his living in a moldy old crypt that anyone could walk into. Inside her house, no other vampire could get him. He was safe, and she felt better having him close.  
  
So much had changed for her. Physically she was a match for almost anyone, but emotionally she was still only fifteen. At times a very scared and lonely fifteen. Spike had been the only one to help her celebrate that birthday, back when they had been in training for their return to Sunnydale as slayer and watcher. He had given her the leather jacket that had been trashed earlier tonight. She hated that it was ruined because it made her feel safe. The same way that he did.  
  
She sensed his presence before she heard him bounding up the front steps. "Hey," she said as he came through the door.  
  
He looked at her in surprise. "What are you doing still up? And what the hell happened to you?"  
  
She filled him in. Even told him how Faith had forced her to think for herself. "I'm just so tired, I totally blew it," she finished quietly.  
  
He was concerned and seemed angry with himself. "I'm not letting you go out alone again. Not till this is over."  
  
"But Buffy?"  
  
He cut her off. "Buffy'll have my balls if I let anything happen to you. Even to get her back. I know that."  
  
"Ok." She didn't want to admit it but she felt better knowing he'd be with them. Faith was back-up for now, but she was tired too. Eventually they were going to screw up, and all it would take was one mistake for something really terrible to happen.  
  
Spike headed for the kitchen, reaching for one of the blood bags he had stashed in the refrigerator.  
  
"So where've you been?" She asked as she watched him heat up his dinner.  
  
"I decided to go pay Doc a visit."  
  
Dawn's eyes widened. "Why?"  
  
"Wesley called back. The bugger knew that those Latin mystery phrases I thought were significant didn't mean squat. So we're back at square one. I got to thinking about Doc, how he knew what to do up there on that platform. Didn't seem to want or need Glory. I think he has all the answers. I'm just sorry it took me this long to think of going to see him."  
  
She felt a frisson of dread. Doc was more powerful than any of them knew. She had felt that when he had cut her that horrible night. He was pure evil. "You went all alone? He nearly killed you!"  
  
"Simmer down, pet. He wasn't there. Landlady said he moved out months ago, I make it to be just after Buffy died."  
  
Dawn remembered Buffy throwing him off the platform. But they had never found the body. In fact, no one had seen his body hit the ground. She shivered again. Then she yawned.  
  
"Go to bed, Dawn."  
  
"I'm ok," she protested even though she knew her eyes were drooping.  
  
"You're not either." He watched her closely. "Afraid to go to sleep?"  
  
She nodded. "She'll be there, wanting things from me I don't know how to give."  
  
She could tell he didn't know what to say.  
  
"Maybe, if you stayed with me for awhile? You know, to watch over me, wake me if you can tell I'm dreaming? Faith says Giles does that for her when she can't get away on her own?"  
  
His eyes softened. "When Dru was at her weakest, I used to do the same for her. You go get ready for bed. I'll be up in a bit."  
  
"Thanks." She pulled herself up the stairs, barely able to get her feet to climb. Moments later she was in her pajamas in bed, her clothes strewn on the floor.  
  
He came in and pulled her desk chair over. "Go to sleep now. You're safe."  
  
She smiled at him and closed her eyes. Sleep claimed her instantly. It seemed like only moments later that Buffy appeared. She was crying. And she looked less distinct than before. "Help me," she pleaded.  
  
"I don't know how," Dawn answered, her heart breaking.  
  
She felt herself being shaken awake.  
  
"Ok, then, wake up, Niblet."  
  
She realized she was crying. Grabbed for her watcher, felt him hug her close.  
  
"We're losing her, Spike. We're really losing her." She felt him sigh.  
  
"Don't give up yet, Dawn. Not till she's gone."  
  
She didn't say anything, just sobbed. He held her until she slept, cried into exhaustion.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
"Is she going to be all right?" Willow whispered.  
  
Tara slowly closed the door to their bedroom. They had taken Joyce's room, neither of them willing to disturb Buffy's room. At first they had thought Faith might move in, but she seemed happy at Giles'. Now they understood why. Tara wondered how she could have missed the signs of their affair. She was normally quite sensitive to those vibrations. She had known of Spike's feelings for Buffy long before the rest had found out.  
  
She walked back to the bed she shared with Willow and crawled under the covers. Willow pulled her in to snuggle. Tara turned to her, "Spike's with her, and I think she's asleep."  
  
Willow sighed. The sound of Dawn's crying had been heartbreaking to them both. "I feel so bad for her, Tara. She's so young, and she's had to deal with so much this year. I'm really worried."  
  
"I know. Me too. But we're doing everything we can."  
  
"Are we," Willow asked.  
  
Tara hugged her sleepily. "Of course we are."  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Willow carefully moved Tara's arm and eased herself off the bed. She tiptoed across the room and pulled on some clothes, then searched through her jewelry box, finally emerging with a small talisman. She let herself out into the dark hall.  
  
Spike turned to look.  
  
"Can I use the basement?" she asked him. "It's for a spell."  
  
"Now?"  
  
She thought fast. "It's the right moon alignment to Pluto and Venus. Won't happen again for twenty years."  
  
He didn't look convinced. "And you are sneaking around to do this spell why?"  
  
"I'm not sneaking, I'm just trying to not wake Tara."  
  
"Oh whatever, Red. Go ahead." He waved her on, turned back to Dawn.  
  
Willow hurried to the bathroom and found Dawn's brush. She pulled some hairs out and stuffed them in her pocket. Stopping only to grab some candles and a lighter on the main floor, she headed to the basement and set up a circle. Lighting the candles she began the ritual. She held the talisman in her hand and as she focused on it, a chant became clear in her mind.  
  
"Blessed be the name of D'Hoffryn. Let this space be now a gateway to the world of Arashmaharr where demons are spawned. We come in supplication; we bend as the reed in the flow of the river Narithe, we move to you as the tall grass in the face of the storm winds. Receive us."  
  
There was a bright light and a great deal of nasty smelling smoke. Willow's eyes watered and she started to cough.  
  
"Change your mind, little witch?" D'Hoffryn said hopefully. "Oh my," he said as he walked closer, "not so little anymore. You're quite the power now, aren't you? Been playing with the dark stuff too, I see."  
  
She wiped at her eyes, realized once the smoke cleared that she had made it to the place D'Hoffryn had taken her before. "Oh, hi. Gosh, here I am." She saw a bench, backed up and sat down quickly. Her head was still spinning. She looked up at the demon. "And, uh, no. I haven't changed my mind."  
  
He looked irritated. "You dare to bother me for something else? Do you know what I could do to you?"  
  
"I'm sorry. Really. But, well, I'm working on a difficult project, you know, really advanced magically speaking and all. And no one seems to be able to help."  
  
"And you thought I would? Have I led you to believe I am some kind of good guy?"  
  
"Well. No. I mean if that's a bad. But you were nice in letting me go the last time. And I bet you know tons about magic, the really complicated kind."  
  
"Are you trying to flatter me into helping you?"  
  
"Is it working?" Willow asked hopefully.  
  
He looked at her sternly, then burst into evil laughter. "You have courage, Willow. I like that." He held his hand out. "Come. Let's go someplace where we can talk more comfortably."  
  
Gingerly she took his hand, allowed him to lead her through a door and into a lavishly furnished room.  
  
"Wow. Great decorator."  
  
He preened. "Thanks. I dabble between cases." He motioned her to a chair, took the one opposite.  
  
A smaller demon came scurrying out.  
  
"Tea," D'Hoffryn ordered. "Do you take milk or lemon, Willow?"  
  
"Lemon. And honey."  
  
"As you wish, witch woman," the demon servant replied mockingly.  
  
"You'll have to excuse him. I don't get many non-business visitors. Especially human."  
  
The servant was back instantly with tea for both of them.  
  
Willow eyed hers with suspicion.  
  
"Oh don't worry. It isn't enchanted. I was just sitting down for a cup when I heard you call." He sipped at his tea. "So what is this project you think I can help you with?"  
  
Willow fished Dawn's hair from her pocket and handed it to him. "What can you tell from this?"  
  
D'Hoffryn reacted as soon as he touched the hair. "Oh my. The Key. How fascinating. Good job by the way, stopping that Glory. She would have put me out of business." He closed his eyes briefly. "Interesting. The monks that formed her were quite advanced. What an intricate spell. Retro- active memories, energy made flesh, most ingenious."  
  
"Are any of the monks still around? I really need to talk to them."  
  
"Afraid not." He handed back the hair. "All dead. Glory got them."  
  
Willow felt dejected. "Damn."  
  
"Why do you need them?"  
  
"I need the spell. Just the one that makes energy flesh, not the whole memory changing thing."  
  
"Oh. I have that."  
  
"You do? That's great. Can I...uh...have it too?"  
  
"Won't do you any good without two other witches. The spell must be performed by three powerful magicians of like mind that know each other well."  
  
Willow thought madly. "You wouldn't happen to know a good de-ratting spell, would you?"  
  
D'Hoffryn thought. "I think there is one in the Grimoire of Caumlaud."  
  
"Really? I bet the Council has that!" She felt hope surge through her. "So if I have three witches, I can do the spell?"  
  
"Well," D'Hoffryn turned deadly serious. "I have to give it to you first. What do you think a gift like that would be worth?"  
  
"I won't be a vengeance demon. I just can't."  
  
"Oh forget that. I was thinking of something more personal."  
  
"You mean...you want to...with me?" She gulped.  
  
D'Hoffryn looked disgusted. "Of course not. With a human? Ick." He stood and walked over to where a state-of-the-art PC still sat in the box. She joined him. "I just bought it. Need to get with the information age. But I don't even know how to set it up, much less use it. You could give me lessons in exchange for the spell. Say once a week for a year or twice a week for six months, depending on our schedules?"  
  
"Really? That's it? Computer lessons?" She launched herself at him in glee, gave him a tight hug. "You are the greatest lower being ever!"  
  
"Yes, well, don't spread that around. You'll ruin my reputation."  
  
Willow pulled away and noticed that D'Hoffryn was actually blushing. "I won't tell a soul."  
  
The demon closed his eyes for a moment in concentration. Then he looked at his hand. Another talisman appeared. "You just set up standard circle. You'll need a few special ingredients. They're all listed here. And chant the enclosed text four times. Then say what you want."  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"Creating the spell was a serious accomplishment on the part of the monks. But any idiot can perform it. If they know the secrets. Find the other two witches," he handed the talisman to her, "and you're in business. Now about my computer."  
  
Willow put the talisman in her pocket. "Well. There's no time like the present." She began to unpack the PC. "This is the mouse."  
  
"I see no resemblance to a mouse."  
  
She frowned at him. "I know, but work with me here, ok?"  
  
"Very well," he sighed.  
  
She started to read the specs. "You have 500 megs of RAM. Good."  
  
"There is a ram too? Who invented this machine? Aesop?"  
  
Willow laughed and made D'Hoffryn sit down and take notes as she led him into the 21st century.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Spike had just about dozed off when Willow appeared in a puff of smoke. He sat up with a start. "Bloody hell, woman! Give me some warning next time."  
  
"Sorry," her grin was decidedly not contrite.  
  
"Check out Ms. Self-satisfied? Been stepping out on the little woman?"  
  
Willow ignored the jibe. "I found it, Spike. I found someone that knew the spell."  
  
He looked at her stupidly till he felt her words register. "You mean?"  
  
"Yes!" Willow actually squealed. "We can get her back."  
  
Spike felt a slow grin spread across his face. "Red, did I ever tell you that I love you?"  
  
"That's in a non-stalky, shrine and robot-free way, right?"  
  
"Well, yeah."  
  
"Oh. Cool." She sobered suddenly. "There's just one catch. We need three witches to do the spell."  
  
"So? Hire one. There must be another witch somewhere in Sunnydale."  
  
"Can't be a stranger."  
  
He felt his hopes sink. "So where are we going to find this witch?"  
  
She pointed up. "She's probably in the habitrail even as we speak."  
  
"Amy the rat really is a person? I thought that was a running gag or something."  
  
"Oh, she's really human. I just haven't been able to de-rat her. Couldn't find the right spell."  
  
"But now you have it?"  
  
"Not exactly. We need the Grimoire of Caumlaud. It has a spell that should work according to my source. But I've never seen it in Giles' collection. I was thinking the Watcher's Council might have it."  
  
"How likely will they be to share it if they do have it? Buffy gave them nothing but trouble. They might think they are lucky to be shed of her. And they certainly won't give it to me. I'm hardly welcome there even if I am Dawn's watcher."  
  
Willow smiled. "Maybe Giles needs a trip back to Mother England? Renew old ties, see old friends..."  
  
"Steal old books," Spike finished for her.  
  
"I might have been thinking along those lines."  
  
Spike shook his head. "It's a good idea, but we don't have the time. Dawn thinks that Buffy will slip away soon."  
  
"Right." She sighed heavily.  
  
"Let's go call Giles," Spike suggested as he pushed himself out of his chair with a groan.  
  
They hurried upstairs and called the other watcher. Willow explained quickly what had transpired. "So we just need this Grimoire or really just the de-ratting spell. And we thought you could go to England but there isn't time."  
  
"They could fax it," Giles said.  
  
Spike leaned into the speakerphone, "Not going to just hand it over no questions asked, are they?"  
  
"Well the Council might not. But the Council librarian is another thing entirely."  
  
Spike could hear the satisfaction in Giles' voice. "I take it you know this bloke?"  
  
"The bloke's a she. And yes, we were close once. Quite close."  
  
"And she still remembers you fondly, I hope?" Willow asked.  
  
"She does. Her husband may be another matter."  
  
Spike laughed. "There are a lot of things we don't know about you, aren't there?"  
  
"Oh, I daresay. You two stay close to the phone."  
  
"Should we tell the others?" Willow asked.  
  
"Not yet. I don't want to get their hopes up if this is just another false lead."  
  
"Right," Spike agreed. "But if it's not, Red here may have found the way to bring Buffy back."  
  
"Indeed she may have. Well done, Willow. Although it was a terrible risk. I can't believe that this demon won't want something in return. I fear you've strayed again onto the dark road."  
  
"Yes, Giles, a Mac user might agree with you." She giggled.  
  
Spike stared at her. He didn't get it. Neither did Giles, judging from the complete silence on the other end of the line.  
  
"Jeez, guys. I'm giving him computer lessons. He just got a PC. You know. PC versus Mac. Get it?"  
  
"Let it go, Red," Spike urged.  
  
"Fine," she grumbled.  
  
"Right then. I'm going to call Rosalind. If I get anything I'll call." Giles hung up.  
  
Willow reached down and broke the connection from their end. "So what do we do now?"  
  
Spike frowned, already impatient. "We wait."  
  
"We wait," she repeated.  
  
As one, they both stared down at the phone, willing it to ring.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
In the portal it was nearly impossible to know where she ended and the rest of the energy began, and Buffy realized, even as she tried to increase her grasp on her identity, that this was the last round of her fight.  
  
Faith had said they were trying to help her. She hoped they'd find a way soon because she didn't have much time left before the call of the portal would be too strong to resist.  
  
Already it was sweet, filling her with its seduction. "Surrender," it purred.  
  
"In a minute," she replied tiredly.  
  
TBC 


	4. Rebirth

Gravity  
  
Chapter 4 - Rebirth  
  
  
  
The phone rang and both Willow and Spike raced for it. Willow won. "Well?"  
  
Giles voice was less than jubilant. "They don't have the Grimoire. But Rosalind has a lot of connections. She's going to keep trying."  
  
"Damn," she said.  
  
Spike's face fell as he watched her talk. He paced the room dejectedly.  
  
"She'll call her librarian contacts today. I hope to hear from her by tomorrow."  
  
"I can't believe they don't have the book." Willow looked over at Spike. He was muttering something about Amy. "Hold on a minute, Giles. Spike, what did you just say?"  
  
He turned to her. "I said Amy must've had it. Or something like it. I mean she did the spell and all, right? Can't believe she wouldn't know the counterspell."  
  
"She did know the counterspell, she deratted Buffy back in high school!" Willow couldn't believe she'd never thought of that. From the sputtering on the other end of the line, the other watcher was just as chagrined. "Giles, I'm going to go over to Amy's house. I think her dad's kept everything just the way she left it. He hasn't given up on her coming home someday. If the spell was in a book then maybe I can find it."  
  
"It's a good idea," Giles agreed, his voice taking on new hope. "How's Dawn, Willow?"  
  
"Not so good. What about Faith?"  
  
"In better shape, I think. But she's used to a good deal more unpleasantness than Dawn is."  
  
"That's true, I guess." Even if most of it she brought on herself, Willow added silently.  
  
"Well, I'll let you get to it. Try to sleep. If we do find the de-ratting spell, you'll need all your strength to perform both that and the spell for Buffy."  
  
Willow agreed to try to rest and hung up. Walking upstairs, she crawled back into bed with Tara. The sun was long since up, but that didn't bother her. They were used to odd hours in this house. She closed her eyes and was out.  
  
Hours later she woke to find Tara gone. She could hear her laughing in the other room with Dawn. After a long, hot shower, Willow headed down to the kitchen. "Hey," she said to the other two.  
  
"Hey, sleepyhead," Tara smiled. "Did you get up in the middle of the night?"  
  
"Uh-huh," Willow tried to keep her voice secret free.  
  
"I thought so. I smelled smoke on your clothes when I put them in the hamper."  
  
"Spike and his cigarettes," Willow offered lightly.  
  
"Not that kind of smoke. Were you doing magic?"  
  
Willow went for the half-truth. "Yes. I feel so useless, Tara. I just wanted to help."  
  
The other witch gave her a sweet smile. "I know you do. I understand. You don't have to keep things from me is all."  
  
Willow felt guilty, even as she nodded. She was lucky her lover was so even tempered.  
  
Dawn looked up. There were dark circles under her eyes. "We're going to the mall. Want to come?"  
  
"I can't. I promised Giles I'd run an errand for him."  
  
They didn't argue and left shortly after. Willow hurried through her breakfast then headed over to Amy's house. Mr. Madison's car was in the driveway, so she took a deep breath and rang the bell.  
  
The door opened a few seconds later. She was shocked at the appearance of Amy's once boisterous and hearty father. He now looked washed out and diminished. Willow felt guilty that she couldn't tell the man that his daughter was alive if somewhat altered. Seeing him like this, she hated to disturb him at all. But, she reminded herself, if her mission was a success she'd be restoring his daughter to him.  
  
"Willow? What can I do for you?"  
  
"Hi, Mr. Madison. I'm really sorry to bug you and I hope this doesn't sound tacky or thoughtless, but Amy borrowed a book from me and I really need it back."  
  
He moved aside at once. "Of course. Come in. Do you want me to help you look?"  
  
"Oh, no. It's ok. I think I know where she kept it. I'll just be a second."  
  
"Ok, sure." He gestured to the family room. "I'm just in here."  
  
She hurried up the stairs to the attic. She and Michael and Amy had worked on spells here. They had been so new to wicca and Amy had seemed so powerful. Michael had left for New York after graduation. Willow hoped he was ok.  
  
She went at once to the chest that Amy's mom, and later Amy used to keep her magical things safe. There was no lock but she knew Amy had warded it. Reaching out with her mind she studied the magical protection. Two years ago, these were so advanced she could only hope to be able to do them someday. Now she saw in a second how to get past them.  
  
She felt for the magic, twisted it with her will. "Open." she ordered firmly.  
  
The chest lid sprang up.  
  
"Mrreow," sounded close to her ear and caused her to jump. She turned to see Caliban, Catherine Madison's cat in the windowsill. The big black cat jumped down and sniffed her. Willow pulled back, expecting him to strike at her as he had in the past. Amy had explained that he was a one-person cat and he only responded to her mother. He had refused all affection, and had come and gone as he pleased. Now, he began to wind his body around Willow's legs. His purr was loud in the room. She reached down and he rubbed his head against her hand, then rolled over and exposed his belly to her, the way Miss Kitty often did.  
  
She turned back to the trunk, found the Grimoire four books down. Yes, she thought excitedly. She allowed the chest to close and relock, then cast a glamour on the book before heading downstairs. When she said goodbye to Mr. Madison, he saw only an advanced math text.  
  
"Willow," he stopped her at the door. "She isn't forgotten, is she?"  
  
She smiled gently. "Not by me. I think about her every day."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
She touched his hand. "I think she's ok."  
  
He smiled bravely, clearly not believing her.  
  
Just you wait, she thought happily as she hurried back to the house. Just you wait.  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Spike heard Willow come in but felt no desire to go up and talk.  
  
"Spike?" she called down the stairs.  
  
"Yeah," he replied sullenly.  
  
"I've got the book."  
  
"That's not funny," he said, lighting a cigarette.  
  
"I'm not kidding. I've got it."  
  
He could tell by her voice that she really wasn't kidding. He fairly flew up the stairs, dodging sunlight in the kitchen to stand beside her.  
  
"Spike, what did we agree about smoking upstairs?"  
  
He looked down at the cigarette he had forgotten he even held. "Balls," he said as he hurried to stub it out in the sink.  
  
She was already thumbing through the pages.  
  
"Find anything?" he asked impatiently.  
  
"In this section I think. Spells to end enchantments."  
  
"Sounds promising."  
  
"Let's see. Pigs, hawks, swans, trolls..."  
  
"Olaf would have liked that one."  
  
She ignored him. "Frogs, flies, here we go, rats."  
  
They both read the spell.  
  
"It doesn't need any ingredients. Just words," Willow looked at him.  
  
"We could just trot upstairs then and try it out?" Spike suggested.  
  
"We should really call Giles first."  
  
"Why? If we tell him and it doesn't work he'll just be disappointed. We can spare him all that."  
  
She smiled. "True."  
  
Without another word they ran for the stairs. Willow coaxed Amy out of the cage and set her down in the middle of the bed. Spike handed Willow the book. She spoke the strange combination of English and Latin words firmly.  
  
Spike saw the Amy rat begin to quiver with excitement. It's working, he thought with elation.  
  
"Unto flesh you are born. By Hecate's power and the will of another you are now of strange form. By my will, be what you were."  
  
Willow pointed at the rat and it disappeared. In its place sat a young woman. A naked young woman.  
  
Willow hissed at him, "Spike, turn around."  
  
Reluctantly he did so. "Amy I presume?"  
  
"Yes." Amy's voice was scratchy and tentative. "I'm finally human again?"  
  
"Yes, you are," Willow said joyfully.  
  
Spike heard a rustle of clothes, then Willow said, "You can turn around now."  
  
Amy was wearing a dress of Willow's, the long skirt slightly shorter on her taller frame. "Hi," she said shyly. "I remember seeing you. From there, I mean," she pointed to the cage. "Do I know you?"  
  
He shook his head. "I'm Spike."  
  
"Oh," she said with some interest.  
  
"He's a vampire," Willow explained.  
  
"I see." She sounded no less interested.  
  
"It's not like it has to be a bad thing," Spike objected. "I guess you could say I'm reformed."  
  
"Are you, um, living here because you're someone's boyfriend?" Her voice was a mixture of curiosity and attraction.  
  
He grinned. It was nice to have a woman look at him like that again. "Ask me that in a couple of days and I'll be able to tell you."  
  
"What happens in a couple of days?"  
  
Willow sat her back down on the bed. "You've got a lot of catching up to do, Amy. Let me start at the beginning."  
  
"Buffy's dead and we need your help to get her back," Spike countered impatiently.  
  
"Ok, maybe not at the beginning," Willow replied. "Maybe not even in the middle."  
  
"Buffy gave me back the life my mom stole. And now you've brought me back, Willow. I'll do whatever I can do help." She looked over at Spike. "Why did you say that about knowing if you'll be someone's boyfriend? Does it have to do with Buffy?" She yawned suddenly.  
  
"That really is a long story," Spike said gently.  
  
Willow nodded, "Why don't you sleep for a bit, I'll explain it all when you wake up."  
  
Amy yawned again. "Ok. I am a little tired." She eased herself back and Willow covered her with a blanket. She closed her eyes. In seconds she was asleep.  
  
Spike turned to Willow. "Now we call Giles."  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Faith was just waking up when she heard the phone ring and Giles rushing to answer it. She forced herself out of bed and shuffled to the railing. Looking down, she could see Giles on the phone at his desk. As if sensing her eyes on him, he looked up and smiled at her. His face was radiant.  
  
Faith felt her heart sink. So now it starts, she thought. Her first instinct was to pack. But when she looked down at Giles she was filled with such tenderness that it shook her. The thought of leaving him, or Dawn, was more than she could bear.  
  
Guess I'm in this for the duration, Faith decided as she grabbed some clothes and pulled them on quickly. Giles was just hanging up when she headed down the stairs. He gave her a joyous smile.  
  
"Let me guess? It's B-Day." She tried hard to keep the sarcasm and dread out of her voice.  
  
He moved to her, took her in his arms. "Yes, it is. Are you going to be all right with this?"  
  
She felt his arms tighten around her as she leaned into him. "I will be. I think."  
  
He pulled her face up, kissed her hard. "I love you. Dawn loves you. We love Buffy too, but getting her back won't change how we feel about you."  
  
She wished she could believe him. She knew he believed what he was saying. But nobody could predict what Buffy's return would mean for her or for any of them. Even for Buffy herself. Faith wondered, not for the first time, just what kind of Buffy they would be getting back. Not that it mattered. Way Faith figured it, none of them were going to like her.  
  
She gave Giles a quick, hungry kiss, then pulled out of his arms. "So where are we headed? And how can I help?"  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Anya was indignant. "You mean D'Hoffryn is helping you? For computer lessons?"  
  
"An. Hon. Give me the phone." Xander tried to gently pry it from her grasp.  
  
She slipped away. "He gave you the spell? And tea? I never had tea with him in all the centuries I knew him. That bastard."  
  
He saw her loosen her grip and yanked the phone away. "Will? What's going on?"  
  
"Xander, god can she ever stay on topic?"  
  
"Probably not. So what's the what?"  
  
"We have everything we need, Xander. We can get Buffy back. Tonight when the sun sets. At the house. But I need you to get some stuff for me, ok?"  
  
"You got it. I'm supply guy."  
  
"Ok, we need a hypodermic needle and some blood sample type test tubes. You will probably have to ask for that at the pharmacy. Tell them you're studying to be a lab tech."  
  
"Lie for needle and tubes. Ok. Next?"  
  
"We're also going to need some red wine, preferably from Dalmatia."  
  
"You want wine from a dog?"  
  
"It's in Croatia."  
  
"Ok." He sounded dubious. Maybe he should look up where that was.  
  
"You'll need to go to that new wine store. If anybody is going to have it, they will. If they don't have Dalmatian, get a nice Italian red."  
  
"Are we having a resurrection, Will, or a dinner party?"  
  
"It's for the ritual, Xander. The monks came from that area, before they dispersed to other parts of Europe. I'm just trying to be as faithful to the original spell as I can."  
  
"I knew that," he said cockily, but he was feeling lost. But then he often did when spells were involved. Not that he hadn't helped out big time when they were fighting Adam. That had been so weird.  
  
He realized Willow was talking. "What?"  
  
"I said, be here as soon as you can, ok?"  
  
"We will be." He hung up the phone.  
  
Anya was still scowling. "She got to see his room. Nobody gets to see that. It's so unfair."  
  
He had learned not to argue with her when she was ranting. "It really is, An. You knew him way longer."  
  
She smiled gratefully. "I love it when you side with me, Xander."  
  
"I know you do. Now we've got some shopping to do."  
  
---------------------------------  
  
Dawn stumbled up the front steps ahead of Tara. "See, I beat you."  
  
Tara laughed. "It's not really fair since you're the slayer. I should get a huge head start."  
  
They were still laughing when they opened the door. Willow, Spike, Faith, and Giles were waiting for them.  
  
Dawn swallowed hard. This kind of scene was never good. Then she noticed the smile on Willow's face.  
  
"What's going on?" Tara asked.  
  
A new person walked out of the kitchen, eating a bowl of ice cream with great glee. "Oh, hi," she said to the newcomers.  
  
Tara looked at Dawn. She mouthed, "Who is that?"  
  
Dawn shrugged, although she thought the young woman looked slightly familiar.  
  
Willow introduced them, "Uh Dawn, Tara, meet Amy."  
  
Tara took a step or two forward. "You mean Amy-the-rat Amy?" At Willow's happy nod, she smiled. "Oh my god, you did it. But how did you do it?"  
  
"It's a long story," Willow said humbly.  
  
"She traded a really powerful demon computer lessons for the location of the de-ratting spell," Spike explained.  
  
"Again not so long. I have to stop saying that," Willow deadpanned. "I also got the spell to bring Buffy back and we need a third witch and I knew I couldn't de-rat Amy so while I was there I asked him."  
  
Tara held out her hand to Amy, "I feel like I know you, I mean all that time feeding you and changing the water and umm other things. But we've never really met. I'm Tara."  
  
"Oh I know who you are. I can still remember all the things that went on while I was living in Willow's bedroom."  
  
Tara blushed.  
  
Dawn stepped up. She was still trying to process everything. "I'm Dawn, Buffy's sister." She turned to Willow. "Does this mean...?" She trailed off, afraid to put it into words, to be disappointed.  
  
Willow went to her, put her hands on her shoulders. "It does, Dawnie, it really does."  
  
"Providing that D'Hoffryn guy didn't sell you a bill of goods," Spike noted.  
  
Willow glared at him. "If he did, his computer is so history."  
  
The front door opened again and Xander and Anya walked in.  
  
"Whoa." Xander noticed Amy at once. "Check out who's back among the two- legged."  
  
"Hi, Xander," Amy beamed. She looked at Anya. "You're that new girl from school?"  
  
Anya moved closer to Xander, she laid her hand on his arm possessively. "Anya. Xander's fiancée. Ex-demon."  
  
"Oh. Wow. No messing with you, I guess?"  
  
"You guess right."  
  
"Hackles down, An. Amy's just a friend." Xander pulled his arm away and turned to Willow. "I've got the supplies."  
  
"Good." She took them from him.  
  
"No Dalmatian or any other type of Croatian, though. The guy said we could go Greek or Turkish, but you said Italian. I got confused. So I bought all three."  
  
Willow nodded approval. "We'll drink the two we don't use."  
  
"Cool," Dawn murmured.  
  
"Not you," Willow and Faith said in unison.  
  
"Party poopers." Dawn pretended to sulk. She studied Faith. Her friend looked nervous. As Willow took the supplies into the kitchen, Dawn walked over to Faith. "You ok?" she whispered.  
  
Faith appeared to bite back a sarcastic reply. "Yeah. I guess so."  
  
Dawn saw fear in Faith's eyes. Something she'd never seen in months of patrolling together. She took the other slayer's hand, felt Faith resist her for a moment, then give in. "Buffy's my sister and I love her, but I didn't choose her. You're my friend by choice."  
  
Faith didn't say anything, but Dawn felt the older girl tighten her grip on Dawn's hand.  
  
"So who's going to explain what is going on?" Xander asked.  
  
Willow pointed to Giles.  
  
He protested, "You're the one that found the spells."  
  
"Yeah but you always explain things."  
  
"Oh, very well." He motioned everyone to sit down.  
  
"The spell, while quite complicated in terms of ingredients and the wording, is relatively easy to execute. It does however require three initiates, or in this case witches, all of whom know each other. The spell must be done at sunset, right when the world is poised between light and dark. So we have some preparation to do. And Dawn, we're going to need some of your blood."  
  
"Why does everyone always want my blood," Dawn squeaked.  
  
Giles tried to reassure her. "Buffy was right. You were made from her blood."  
  
"How did the monks get it?" Xander wanted to know.  
  
"Dracula," Anya answered, the truth hitting her first. "I knew that wasn't him. Couldn't believe he wouldn't look me up."  
  
"You mean I was his lackey and he wasn't even here?"  
  
"Fraid so, Xan," Willow smiled in sympathy.  
  
"God I hate this town."  
  
Giles rose. "Come into the kitchen, Dawn, and I'll draw your blood."  
  
She reluctantly got up. "What about the rest of them?"  
  
Willow stood up. "Tara, Amy, we need to make up the magical wine." She turned to the others. "Spike, you and Faith need to seal the house up. It's important that no door or window be open or unlocked. Xander, Anya, we'll need space in the living room. Could you move the furniture out of the way and vacuum the carpet. It needs to be clean. Ok, let's get to work."  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
Soon all was prepared. Giles surveyed the room. Xander and Anya had moved everything out of the way. The area was empty and newly clean. They were downstairs putting the vacuum away, had been down there quite a long time for such a simple errand. The witches had finished making the herbed wine and had left it to cool. They were upstairs preparing for the ritual. Dawn was in the kitchen making cookies. She said they were Buffy's favorite. He hoped for her sake that everything went right and that they brought back a Buffy that could recall her favorite things.  
  
Faith and Spike came down the stairs. They were arguing. He watched them, noticing how at ease they were with each other, how good-humored the discussion stayed even as they bickered. Everyone had fallen into new kinds of relationships since Buffy died. How would her coming back change all that?  
  
"You're frowning," Faith said quietly as she slipped her arms around him and leaned into his back.  
  
"Just worrying. You know me." He pulled her around to his chest, closed his eyes for a moment and just concentrated on what it felt like to hold her. She was warm, always so warm, and she smelled of last night's sleep and last night's sex. He kissed her neck, heard her sigh. He whispered in her ear, "We're going to be fine. No matter what happens here tonight."  
  
"I know," she whispered. "But everything is going to change."  
  
"Yes, no doubt it will."  
  
She found his mouth, kissed him softly. When she pulled away, Giles saw Xander watching them. The watcher cursed quietly. He and Faith had agreed not to try to hide their relationship, but they had never been so indiscreet before.  
  
"Tell us to get a room and you're toast, Xander," Faith's voice was challenging.  
  
But Xander surprised them both. "I was just going to say I'm glad that you two are happy. I didn't believe it could work," he looked at Faith, "and maybe I was jealous. But I think I was wrong. About a lot of things." He turned to go back into the kitchen.  
  
"I'm sorry, Xander." Faith's called after him.  
  
He stopped walking.  
  
"I know I've never said that. But I am sorry for what I did to you. I hurt you and I wish I could take it back."  
  
He turned and gave her a wicked grin. "It wasn't all bad." Giles coughed and Xander forced his face into a more serious expression. "Not that I remember much. I mean, it's all a blur. Really. I'm going now." He hurried out.  
  
Faith turned to Giles. Her expression was amused but uncertain. "That was nice, what he said."  
  
He smiled. "And what you said was nice too."  
  
"Yeah. I guess it was. Don't expect me to make a habit of it though," she warned him.  
  
He thought of how she was with Dawn, and with him. "Of course not," he played along, not believing her for a second.  
  
"Besides," she said as she bumped up against him, moving her body against a rather sensitive spot on his. "You like me just a little bit wicked."  
  
"You'll get no argument from me there," he agreed as he bent to kiss her again.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Willow swallowed nervously as she, Tara, and Amy took their places inside the circle of lit candles. They all dipped their fingers in the herbed wine and slowly traced the outline of the circle with it. Then, kneeling so that they formed a triangle, the witches dipped into the wine again, touching it to their foreheads and their throat.  
  
"Protect this space," Willow said. "Oh guardian of all things Fire. We call on the lords of the West for protection."  
  
Amy followed her lead. "Oh guardian of all things Air. We call on the lords of the East for protection."  
  
Tara continued, "Oh guardian of all things Earth. We call on the lords of the North for protection."  
  
Willow finished. "Oh guardians of all things Water. We call on the lords of the South for protection."  
  
The circle they had drawn with the wine flared with light for a moment, then it was still. They were ready.  
  
Willow reached into her robe pocket, drew out a vial of Dawn's blood. She poured it carefully onto the melted wax of a huge candle in the center. The flame flared high as the blood merged with the wax. Then it burned a bright ruby as the blood was sucked out of the wax and into the fire.  
  
She began the chant, heard Amy and Tara join her. She could feel power flowing through her. Once, twice, three times they said the sacred words. On the fourth time, their voices rose and she felt the power they were raising lift above them.  
  
She leaned down, looked into the flame of the center candle. "I call to Buffy. Return to the life you left."  
  
The flame shot high, its red incandescence nearly licking the ceiling, then it was calm again.  
  
"And so mote it be," Willow whispered. It was over. She looked at her partners in the chant, then at the rest of the gang. They were all checking the room. She too scanned the space.  
  
"So where is she?" Spike asked.  
  
---------------------------------  
  
Buffy felt despair overcome her. The portal was stronger than she could ever be. She knew she had lost.  
  
Dawn wouldn't save her. Neither would Faith.  
  
It was over.  
  
She let go. Fell for a second into the portal, felt its anticipation and welcome. But then another force seemed to gather her up. She thought she heard Willow's voice.  
  
There was a red flash and the portal was gone. She stood in her bedroom. From the reflection in the mirror, she could tell she was in her own body.  
  
She was back. But how?  
  
She heard voices downstairs. Took a tentative step. Expected to feel dizzy, uncoordinated, strange. But the movement felt fine. She took another step. Then another. She felt strong. She did a small side kick. Then shadow boxed. It was all good.  
  
She was alive. She was Buffy. She was the Slayer.  
  
She walked into the hall. Dawn's door was open; the room looked just the same. Buffy glanced across the hall. Pain surged through her at the sight of her mom's room. Then the voices in the living room rose, distracting her from her grief.  
  
She crept down the stairs. Saw them all. Dawn, Giles, Xander, and Willow. Tara and Anya. Even Spike. Then two more people moved into view. Amy? Willow must have finally found the right spell, she thought. Then her whole body clenched. Faith. Here? She tensed, ready to fight. But she saw that Giles was talking to the other slayer, that no one appeared concerned. Faith was part of the gang, then? How could this have happened?  
  
"Good lord." It was Giles' dear voice, full of shock.  
  
Everyone followed his gaze. A variety of expressions erupted.  
  
"Oh my god," Dawn said, nearly crying.  
  
"Buffy!" Willow, unable to contain her excitement, ran to her. "You're really back."  
  
"Yep," she said, trying out her new voice. It wasn't scratchy or weak, just the same as it always was. Buffy took the last four steps quickly and found herself caught up in Willow's hug. "Miss me?"  
  
Over Willow's shoulder, her eyes met Giles'. He was clearly overjoyed. She wanted to hug him next, but then she noticed how close he and Faith were standing. Buffy saw her watcher glance at the other slayer, saw Faith return the look in a way that Buffy didn't want to understand.  
  
"B," Faith said, her voice even, calm. "Welcome home."  
  
"Thanks." Buffy knew her own voice was cold and unfriendly. She didn't care.  
  
Xander's arms claimed her next. "The Buffster! I thought I'd never see you again!"  
  
She took comfort in the strength of his arms. Construction work was agreeing with him. "Xander, I can't breath," she teased him.  
  
"Sorry," he grinned as he let her go.  
  
Tara and Anya said quiet hellos, and Spike seemed at a loss for words, finally spitting out "Slayer" in response to her neutral greeting.  
  
Buffy turned to Dawn, held her arms open wide.  
  
"Buffy!" Her sister launched herself at the resurrected slayer. "Oh my god, don't ever die for me like that again."  
  
Buffy laughed and cried, and so did Dawn. The others left them alone. Finally Spike came out.  
  
"Everything ok?" He looked at Dawn with concern, then he glanced over at Buffy. His expression was one of uncertain joy.  
  
For some reason she found herself unaccountably annoyed by his presence. She rose, walked toward him, ignored the grin he was trying to hide. "Spike. I can't thank you enough for all you've done for Dawn. I'm sure you did a fine job taking care of her, and we both know it was way beyond the call. But I'm back now, so you can return to your normal life." She began to push him toward the door. "I know how relieved this must make you feel. It can't be fun having a teenager on your hands all the time."  
  
"Buffy...I..." Spike was at a loss for words.  
  
"No really, I'm sure you have lots to do before the sun comes up."  
  
"Buffy, what's wrong with you?" Dawn suddenly stood in front of her. "Spike's not going anywhere. He lives here."  
  
"Yeah." Spike seemed to have found his voice, and some anger to boot. "In the basement, I'll have you know. For some time now."  
  
Buffy laughed mockingly. She felt something grow inside her: anger, panic, hysteria, she wasn't sure what. "Dawn, we will not have a vampire living with us."  
  
Dawn didn't back down. "Bet you wouldn't say that if it was Angel."  
  
"Angel isn't your ordinary vampire."  
  
"Neither is Spike, he's Dawn's watcher." Giles had come in unnoticed during the argument.  
  
"Her what?" Buffy couldn't believe what she was hearing. Had she landed in the Bizarro world? First Faith, now Spike?  
  
"A great deal has changed since you died." He walked to her, put his hands gently on her shoulders. "We've been trying to get you back for so long. I've been terrified that we would lose you. None of us can imagine what you went through. But I think you need to step back, rest perhaps. We, but you most of all, need to figure out how things have changed while you've been gone. But we won't be doing that tonight."  
  
Buffy looked around, saw the others watching her. She saw the uncertainty in their eyes. She suddenly felt very lost, very small. "Where do I fit in this new world you've all forged?"  
  
Before they could answer, she turned and walked slowly up the stairs. Her door closed gently but the click of the lock being thrown echoed throughout the house.  
  
TBC 


	5. Revulsion

Gravity  
  
Chapter 5 - Revulsion  
  
The silence in the living room was absolute. Spike and Dawn both slumped in defeat. Giles looked pensive.  
  
Willow stood in the doorway next to Faith. The other slayer didn't make a comment, but her meaning as her eyes met Willow's then looked upward was unmistakable.  
  
"I'll talk to her," the witch said.  
  
She climbed the stairs slowly, trying to imagine how hard, how strange this must seem to Buffy. She knocked on the door of her friend's bedroom. "Buffy? Please let me in."  
  
A few seconds passed before she heard the handle being turned. Buffy stood in the doorway. Her eyes were dry, her face tight. She walked to the bed, sat down, and stared out the window. Her look was distant.  
  
Willow closed the door softly. "This all must seem pretty strange, " she said, as she sat down next to the slayer.  
  
Buffy only nodded.  
  
"You've been gone for months, Buff. Getting you back was our main focus, but I guess our lives really did go on."  
  
"They had to. I was dead," Buffy agreed reasonably, then her voice became tight, "It just seems like some pretty strange choices were made."  
  
"I bet things do look really weird from where you're standing. But if you just give it a chance, most of it does make sense."  
  
"Spike as watcher makes sense?" Buffy turned to look directly at Willow, her eyes hard. "Faith out of jail, living in Sunnydale again, makes sense?"  
  
"The council got Faith out. They had to when they couldn't find the next slayer."  
  
"But Dawn?"  
  
"Dawn ran away, Buffy. Your dad wanted to move her to Spain. She didn't want to go."  
  
Buffy's look was haunted. "She was all alone?"  
  
"No. Spike was with her. He protected her. They didn't know she was the slayer when they left, and once they figured it out, they came back. I know it must seem weird, but he's been doing the right thing by her. Just like you asked him to. And Dawn loves him. It was her choice to have him for her watcher."  
  
"It doesn't make sense, Willow. It's Spike for god's sake."  
  
Willow found herself getting defensive. "Yeah. Spike who helped us beat Glory. Spike who has been tireless in looking after Dawn and in trying to find a way to bring you back. People do change, Buffy."  
  
The slayer's look hardened even more. "I suppose you're going to tell me that Faith has changed too?"  
  
Willow felt conflicted. "You know I've never liked her. I can't say that I feel all warm and fuzzy toward her. But she's done a good job since she's been back. And I think she really cares about Dawn."  
  
Buffy's scorn was obvious. "Yes, I'm sure she's just the best role model ever."  
  
"Dawn likes her."  
  
"Well Dawn seems to have a soft spot for psychopaths." Buffy seemed too full of energy. She jumped up, began to pace. "I'm surprised you didn't invite Drusilla in too, you know for fashion tips or something."  
  
"Buffy that's not fair. I know things may look kind of..." she searched for the word, "unconventional. But we've been doing the best that we can." Willow was getting dizzy watching Buffy pace. She rose and stepped into her path, forcing her to stop. "I've missed you so much. Dawn has been miserable. And Giles seemed to lose all purpose when you died."  
  
Buffy laughed spitefully. "He seems to have recovered nicely since then. Maybe having Faith around does that? I take it he's her watcher now?"  
  
"Yeah," Willow said carefully, feeling as if she was navigating a landmine.  
  
"Just her watcher?" Buffy asked in a low voice.  
  
"Well. Um."  
  
"My god, Will. What the hell is wrong with all of you? Spike lives in my house, practically has custody of my little sister. Faith and Giles are...god I don't even know the word for what they are."  
  
"Try lovers." Willow felt her own temper rise.  
  
"Lovers," Buffy spat the word at her. "As in to love? Faith isn't capable. Have you forgotten what she's like?"  
  
"Don't make me defend her to you. Buffy, you have to relax. You have to accept. At least until you understand what's happened."  
  
"I don't have to do anything. Now leave me alone." She started to walk back to the window, then whirled on Willow. "Why did you even call me back? Seems like everything was just hunky dory here."  
  
Willow couldn't answer.  
  
"The ironic thing is I had just given up when you caught me. And I was ok with that. I was at peace. Finally."  
  
Willow exploded, "Don't pull that crap! If you were so peaceful why'd you haunt Faith and Dawn's dreams all those weeks? You nearly destroyed Dawn and you're lecturing me about how we've handled things?" Willow wanted to stop but months of fear and grief were pushing her on. "I'm not sure why we bothered getting you back. You're unforgiving and hard and you don't care that we were all left with nothing when you died." Willow's voice cracked. "We were left with nothing except a scared little girl and the memories of how we failed you that night. How we lost you."  
  
She couldn't go on. She felt tears she hadn't cried for weeks burst from her. She couldn't see, couldn't talk for the great heaving sobs that tore from her body. She had never felt more alone. Blindly she turned toward the door.  
  
Strong, slim arms stopped her, wrapped around her. "Oh god, Willow. I'm so sorry."  
  
Willow heard her friend crying too. She brought her own arms up, completing the embrace. They stood there for a long time, both weeping out a pain too dark to keep inside any longer.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Giles stood in the hall, unsure of his next move. It had become very quiet in Buffy's room. He hoped Willow was making progress. He reached for the knob, then pulled back. Should he wait, he wondered.  
  
But then he thought of the unbelievable joy he had felt when he had seen Buffy on the stairs. He had to share that with her. She mustn't think that he was anything but ecstatic at her return.  
  
He knocked softly on the door, opened it when he heard Buffy give permission. The two young women were sitting on the bed, looking just as they had so many other times. He could tell that they had both been crying.  
  
"I've just been catching her up," Willow explained as she rose to leave.  
  
He waited until the door closed before he opened his arms to Buffy.  
  
"You sure there's room in there? I hear you've already got your hands full with one slayer." Her voice wasn't mean exactly. But it was clear that she was putting him on notice that she knew and didn't approve of his relationship with Faith.  
  
He wanted to defend himself and the other slayer, but decided on another tack. "She's willing to share. Aren't you?"  
  
It was the wrong thing to say.  
  
"I find I'm not," Buffy said coldly.  
  
He dropped his arms. The moment was gone. "I've missed you," he said quietly.  
  
"Yeah. I see that."  
  
His lips tightened as he tried to hide the disappointment that knifed through him.  
  
"So am I still the slayer, Giles? Or do Faith and Dawn have that gig pretty well wrapped up?"  
  
This was something he'd given a great deal of thought to in the last few weeks. "I think that is up to you."  
  
"If this is a lecture about my attitude, save it."  
  
"I only mean that nobody knows you're alive but those of us who are here tonight. If you want to reclaim your old life we'll find a way to explain it."  
  
She seemed to relax.  
  
"But if you don't," he continued carefully, "if you want a different kind of life. That can be arranged too. You could have the life your mother wanted for you. College, a new town, a normal job, maybe a husband and children some day. Whatever you wanted. A new start. Free of the slaying. It's something I always wanted for you but never had it in my power to give. Until now."  
  
She stared at him. Her expression hadn't changed. "So you brought me back just to send me away?"  
  
"That's not the spin I'd put on what I just said, Buffy."  
  
"I guess not. What about Dawn?"  
  
"Dawn is a slayer now. She can't escape her destiny any more than you could. But she'll be all right..." he trailed off; aware he was straying into dangerous territory.  
  
"Oh, of course. She'll be ok because she has the poster child for violence as her new big sister and a serial killer for a mentor." Buffy's voice was ugly now.  
  
"Spike has been working with us for some time. You yourself asked him to look after Dawn if anything happened to you. And as for Faith, well she has changed, and if you'd give her a chance, you'd see that."  
  
"I gave her plenty of chances, long ago. Look where it got me." She walked to the closet, dug out a large bag, pulled several stakes from it.  
  
"Buffy, you can't be seriously considering..."  
  
She turned to him, her expression grim. "Thanks for the offer, Giles, and the pretty speech, but I know who I am and where I belong. It may be the only thing I do know anymore." She saw his disapproval, met his gaze defiantly. "I'm still the slayer."  
  
"Buffy?" He reached out for her. Her glare made him drop his arm.  
  
She seemed to consider the door, then said, "Screw it," and opened the window. Just before climbing out she shot him a sarcastic smile. "Hey, maybe I'll get killed again and all of our problems will be solved."  
  
"Buffy..." he began, but she was gone.  
  
The others looked up as he rushed downstairs.  
  
"She's gone out. Patrolling."  
  
They didn't ask anything else. He felt pride in them as they grabbed their coats and weapons. He saw that Tara had not made a move.  
  
"I'll stay here with Amy," she said calmly. "That way there will be someone home if Buffy comes back before you find her."  
  
"Thank you," he answered quietly.  
  
She nodded. In her eyes he saw infinite compassion.  
  
"Right then. Let's go." He followed the others out into the night.  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
Buffy hit the ground and took off running. She headed nowhere in particular, letting her instincts drive her where she was needed. As she ran, she reveled in the smooth movement of her legs, the powerful thing that was her body. As she finally slowed, she felt some of the tension leave her body. She put her head back and let the night wind blow across her face.  
  
"Such a pretty sight," a voice sounded behind her.  
  
Buffy turned, pretending to be frightened. "Leave me alone."  
  
"I don't think so, little one." The vampire moved closer.  
  
She didn't recognize him, then had to remind herself that she hadn't exactly been keeping up with all the potential new vamps.  
  
"I'm very hungry and you look delicious," he licked his lips. His face transformed as he moved on her.  
  
Suddenly bored with the game, Buffy whipped out a stake and slammed it home. At the vampire's look of shock she hissed, "Amateur."  
  
She brushed the dust off her clothes and kept moving. She still didn't know where exactly she was headed as she roamed through Sunnydale, reacquainting herself with the town she considered her own. She passed the Magic Box and the Espresso Pump. Saw where her mother's gallery had been. It has been turned into a craft boutique.  
  
Mom, she thought, trying to ignore the pain she felt. How could you leave us? How could you leave me?  
  
She passed the theater and the sporting goods store. Noticed a new wine shop and a bookstore had gone in next door. She heard music--loud, hard-- the Bronze. She smiled, tempted to go in. Later, she thought. Some other day.  
  
She began to walk faster. Her steps sure even if she wasn't certain where her legs were taking her. A few minutes later she understood. The gravestone was nice, she thought, and it was in a pretty spot. Peaceful. She sank down on the grass.  
  
Am I still down there, she wondered. Molding? Decaying? If I start digging will I come face to face with my corpse? With the me that should have been?  
  
She pushed herself to her feet, suddenly wanting to be anywhere but near her own grave. She began to run again, going ever faster as she tried to outpace a nervousness, an anger, that seemed ready to consume her. She felt volatile. About to explode. Ready to burn.  
  
She ran faster. Turned and headed into the woods, deeper and deeper into the trees. Past the entrance to Adam's cave, past the places they had looked for Oz, past all the memories. It took a long time to find a spot she'd never been before. It was dark and quiet and she crouched down and closed her eyes.  
  
What would it be like, she wondered, to start over? To not have to be the slayer? To not kill every night? The thought of starting over tempted her more than she would ever admit. She allowed her mind to play, to run down all the roads she would never travel. She was a firefighter, a charity worker, a doctor, a chef, a lawyer, a mother. Her fantasies stopped.  
  
She cried out, unable to keep the grief at bay. Mom, I can't do this all again. Not without you. Her tears fell hot and furious. Mom, she silently screamed to the night sky, don't leave me.  
  
She collapsed, head on the ground, hands clenched into fists that beat on the ground. A scared little girl weeping for everything she had lost.  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
Searching together was getting them nowhere. Dawn felt the beginning of panic.  
  
Spike moved closer. "Don't worry, pet. We'll find her."  
  
"We've been out here for hours now. Where did she go?"  
  
Faith had slowed her pace to let them catch up. "She's here somewhere. She didn't come out here to run away, she came out to kill something."  
  
"I don't know, we've passed three vamps so far," Spike noted, "and aside from about having heart attacks at the sight of our little search party, I don't think they were feeling any pain."  
  
Faith glared at him. "We passed three of them and you didn't say anything?"  
  
"Didn't want to distract you two from the search. They were completely second tier anyway. One of you'll stake them eventually, don't worry."  
  
Faith rolled her eyes. "I could have used a good slaying. All this magic makes me itchy."  
  
Dawn realized she too felt wound very tight, as if the tension were a snake coiled inside her. "I wouldn't mind killing something about now," she admitted.  
  
Spike looked at both of them, then gave a low chuckle. "Yeah, well next time I see a vamp, I'll point you its way."  
  
Dawn saw Giles stop. He seemed more than just frustrated. He actually appeared frantic. She couldn't remember ever seeing him anything but unflappable. "Damn," he swore softly.  
  
"Maybe we should split up?" Dawn suggested.  
  
Giles looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. "Yes. Good idea. Dawn and Spike will take the cemeteries. Faith and I will cover the warehouse district and the waterfront. Willow, you take Xander and Anya and check out the rest of downtown."  
  
"Be careful," Dawn whispered to Faith.  
  
"You too. And watch out for him," Faith nodded toward Spike. "Buffy's freaked by his role in all of this."  
  
"And yours too."  
  
"Yeah, but I'm not sporting a chip now am I?"  
  
Dawn realized what she was saying. "Good point." She hurried to catch up with her watcher.  
  
They walked for a few minutes, then Spike glanced at her. "Were you serious about needing to slay?"  
  
Dawn nodded. She looked around, saw a recently disturbed grave.  
  
Spike pointed, "I think you'll find the former occupant in that clump of trees there."  
  
She was off, her instincts telling her to go slow, the anxiety urging her to do it fast. Her instincts won. She crept through the trees; saw the vampire long before he saw her.  
  
He turned, a great lumbering move. "Food," he said harshly.  
  
"You guys just really aren't very smooth when you first wake up, are you?" She pulled out a stake.  
  
The vampire growled and came for her.  
  
"Whoa, and talk about morning breath. Mouthwash," she said as she kicked him hard, "Embrace the concept."  
  
He parried a jab from her, but his next swing left him open. The stake was a blur as it came down and obliterated him.  
  
"Dust to dust," she said as she walked back to Spike.  
  
"Feel better?"  
  
She did. Slightly. "Yeah. Thanks."  
  
They continued on, searching for Buffy in silence. Finally at her headstone, Dawn sat down.  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
She looked away. "I don't understand what's happening. Why is she so upset?"  
  
He walked over, ran his hand down her hair. "I don't know. Maybe because of the portal?"  
  
"Or maybe because she's just a total bee-otch?"  
  
He laughed. "Maybe."  
  
"She didn't even try the cookies. They're the ones Mom used to make for her. She could have at least tried them."  
  
He didn't say anything, just stared at the marker.  
  
"Does she hate me, Spike? Is that why she's so mad? I mean if I hadn't come, she wouldn't have had to deal with half the stuff that happened this year."  
  
"She loves you, Dawn. That much I do know."  
  
"Then why is she so mad?"  
  
"Don't imagine she liked seeing me so involved in your life."  
  
"But she asked you to take care of me."  
  
He gave a short laugh. "I think she meant that I was to look out for you from a distance. Not from the basement."  
  
"Oh," she said sullenly.  
  
"It doesn't help that Faith is here. Teaching you. Shagging Giles."  
  
"Why should that bother her?"  
  
"People get territorial about those they love. She doesn't want Faith near Giles, even if Buffy doesn't have the same kind of feelings for him."  
  
"Hmmm," she couldn't keep the worry out of her voice. "Spike, how mad you think she's gonna be when she finds out I've been borrowing her clothes?"  
  
"I imagine..." he trailed off.  
  
They both heard the sound. Footsteps.  
  
It was Buffy. Her eyes were puffy and red. She had twigs in her hair, and dead leaves on her pants.  
  
"Buffy!" Dawn wanted to run to her sister, but something in Buffy's eyes stopped her. "Buffy, are you all right?"  
  
Buffy stared at Spike for a long time, then she seemed to reach a decision. Her hand drew out a stake. She advanced on him.  
  
"Buffy. What in bloody hell do you think you're doing." He dodged a sharp thrust. A roundhouse kick sent him sprawling.  
  
"Spike!" Dawn was already in motion as she saw Spike jump back to his feet and try to block Buffy. He took a swing and bent double in agony. The stake streaked down.  
  
"No!" she screamed, putting everything she had into the last few steps. She ended up under the stake. Used her own momentum to carry it down and away from Spike. It landed hard against her thigh, the point burning a hole in her leg. She yelped as she pulled it out. Blood flowed freely.  
  
"Dawn?" Buffy said brokenly.  
  
"If you try to hurt him I'll stop you."  
  
Buffy moved around her, already reaching for another stake. "It's for your own good."  
  
"No," Dawn said, moving quickly after her sister. The pain in her thigh was already diminishing. "No," she repeated more firmly as she placed herself between Buffy and her watcher. "Don't make me fight you."  
  
The attack when it came was fast and furious. But Dawn could tell that Buffy was holding back, trying not to hurt her. She felt no such compunction. All the anger she had felt at herself for letting Buffy die for her, at the fates for making her the next slayer, came out. She fought like a wild animal.  
  
Buffy's eyes widened. She was no longer holding back. "Move aside, Dawn," the older slayer ordered.  
  
"You'll have to go through me to get him. I love you, Buffy, but I won't let you hurt him."  
  
Buffy attacked again. Dawn kept her at bay. But the blows were starting to tell on her. She looked over to see her older sister finally pulling away, bent over and breathing hard. Blood trickled down from a cut on her lip. Dawn knew she didn't look much better.  
  
"Stop it, Buffy."  
  
"Why, Dawn? Why Spike?"  
  
Dawn looked over at Spike. He was watching her with concern. And irritation. She knew he hated the way the chip made him helpless against humans.  
  
She smiled at him. Her sister wanted to know why Spike. She turned back to Buffy, saw that the fire had died in her eyes. Dawn walked to her, took her arm. Turned her toward home. She could hear Spike trailing behind them. "Because I love him. He was the only family I had for months. He took care of me. He taught me to fight, to slay. And he did all that because you asked him too, and because he loves me too." Dawn's voice turned menacing and very cold. "So let's get one thing straight, Buffy. If you ever try to hurt him again, you'll be the one in pain."  
  
Buffy grunted. "I already am." She turned and studied Spike. "I'm sorry," she said finally.  
  
He brushed past them, the image of wounded dignity. "Gonna take a whole lot more than a sorry to make up for this, Slayer."  
  
Dawn could hear the hurt in his voice. She knew how much he loved Buffy. Really cared about her. The others sometimes teased him over this crush, but she never did. His love for her sister was real.  
  
He disappeared into the shadows. Dawn tightened her grip on Buffy and the two limped home.  
  
As they finally left the cemetery, Buffy glanced at her, seemed to see Dawn for the first time. Her eyes narrowed. "That so better not be my shirt."  
  
Dawn gulped. "You were dead. I just borrowed a few things."  
  
"Which things."  
  
"Just the cute ones."  
  
Her sister glared at her.  
  
"Which would be like all of them," Dawn admitted.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes. "You are so lucky that I'm way too tired to get mad at you."  
  
Her arm tightened around Dawn's waist, hitting a bruised rib and causing Dawn to hiss in pain. But she didn't pull away from her sister's embrace. She'd waited too long for this to let a little thing like pain get in the way.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Spike stayed well ahead of the two slayers, but not so far away that he couldn't come to their aid if they got into trouble. Neither of them was in any shape to fight again tonight.  
  
He pulled out his cigarettes, lit one and drew on it angrily. Buffy had wanted to kill him. He couldn't fight her and she had known that, had been going to stake him anyway. He felt betrayed. All he'd done for her, for the niblet, and she was going to put him down like a dog?  
  
He could hear them talking behind him. So all was well with the Summers girls, eh? Well bloody good for them.  
  
Dawn laughed, a silvery tinkle of sound. His anger faded for a moment and he smiled. She deserved to be happy. He had tried to give that back to her however he could. Some small measure of happiness, of normal life. He knew he was a poor substitute for her real family but she had seemed to respond. Hell, he knew she loved him. She had fought for him tonight. Gone up against her own sister just to save him. He loved her for it. And hated her. And he knew that she would understand both sentiments.  
  
Buffy on the other hand, he thought bitterly, definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bloomin' portal. Couldn't forgive him and he wasn't even sure what he'd done to need forgiving for. Other than being there when she wasn't. Maybe that was it. She was jealous and feeling guilty and probably a hundred other emotions that she would never own up to. She was so closed. He'd watched her over the years become harder and harder. Till she'd evolved into the banshee he'd just seen in the cemetery. He wanted to believe that this was temporary, just a period of adjustment. But deep down, he was afraid that it wasn't that at all.  
  
It was never easy when other people took your place. Made you do the crazy. When Angelus came back to Dru and him, at first he'd been happy but then all he'd felt was alone as the bastard had pushed him and his wheelchair to the corner and made merry with Dru. In reaction, Spike had done the unthinkable. Turned against his own kind and allied himself with a slayer, if only temporarily at the time. All to get back what had been his. Was Buffy willing to do the same now? Was that what was going on? If so, he and Faith had better watch their backs. Suddenly he didn't like the idea of sleeping two floors below the newly reborn slayer.  
  
Was that it then? Was he a dead man? Dawn had warned her off, but what would she really do if Buffy killed him? What could she do? Certainly the Watcher's Council would be happy. But he suspected Giles wouldn't. And if Buffy threatened Faith? He thought of how Giles and Faith looked at each other. He suspected Giles hid a darker streak than any of them knew. That he'd do anything to protect Faith. Anything. Even kill Buffy. Which would make Giles darker than Spike, because the vampire knew that, even without a bloody chip in his head, he couldn't kill her. He loved her. And if that wasn't hell playing its best joke yet, he didn't know what was.  
  
"Did you find her?" He heard Faith's voice coming up quick on his left.  
  
"Oh yeah. Ms. Lazarus tried to stake me."  
  
"What?" It was Giles, joining them.  
  
"Said it would be better for Dawn." Spike lit another cigarette. "Little Bit fought her off though. Did a damn good job. They're just behind, limping home together."  
  
Faith looked back.  
  
"You don't want to interrupt them. Buffy won't like it."  
  
She glared at him. "Screw Buffy. I'm worried about Dawn."  
  
"Dawn's fine. It's you and me that should be nervous."  
  
Her eyes met his. He could tell she knew exactly what he meant. They all started walking.  
  
"Do you want to stay at my place?" Giles asked.  
  
"You mean in the bathtub?"  
  
"I rather thought the guest room. Faith isn't using it anymore."  
  
Spike stared at Giles, amazed at the offer.  
  
The other watcher shrugged. "I'd hate to lose your first-hand knowledge before I've finished my retrospective."  
  
Spike laughed.  
  
"And Buffy does seem a bit..."  
  
"Unhinged," Faith finished for him. "Unstable, loony, psychotic. I could go on?"  
  
"No need." His look was sad.  
  
"I'm kind of an expert on being out there emotionally, Giles. B's on the ledge."  
  
"She's been through a lot." Her watcher protested.  
  
"Yeah. Well she needs to get over it."  
  
"With time she might. She hasn't even been back a day," Spike objected. "I've got to believe there's hope. You know?"  
  
Giles nodded. "I do know. And you're right."  
  
"I hope so. In the meantime, you and Faith should shove off. I think seeing you will be like spark to the tinder."  
  
"You're not coming back with us?" Faith's face was a study in disbelief. "Are you nuts?"  
  
"No. If I run now, I might as well never stop. I live in that house. I'm Dawn's watcher. It's time Buffy realized that."  
  
"You're an idiot," Faith said adamantly.  
  
"I prefer to think I'm an optimist," he countered. "But I guess if I'm not on this sodding planet tomorrow you'll know your opinion was the more accurate."  
  
They were getting close to the house now. Giles pulled Faith away so Buffy wouldn't see them. "Good luck, Spike. Come over if you need to."  
  
"I appreciate that." He waved jauntily to the watcher and slayer before bounding up the stairs. Faith watched him for a few moments before hurrying down the block with Giles.  
  
"Buffy?" Willow rushed the door. "Oh. It's you."  
  
"You know, that's probably the nicest greeting I've had tonight. Isn't that pathetic?" He saw the others waiting. "She and Dawn are just behind. And she's not in a good mood. I suggest those who don't live here might want to clear out."  
  
Xander stood up. "I guess that's our cue."  
  
Amy looked at Willow uncertainly.  
  
The redhead went to her. "I know you want to go home, Amy. But you can't. Not till we figure out how to explain your being gone so long."  
  
"I know," Amy's voice was very small. "I just really want to see my dad."  
  
"And he really wants to see you too. And he will, very soon. Just not yet, ok?"  
  
Amy nodded. "So I'm staying here?"  
  
Xander nudged Anya. She turned to Amy. "We have a couch, it's not comfortable but it does have the benefit of having no angry slayers in the immediate vicinity. You can stay with us if you want. I mean, till we figure out how to get you home."  
  
"Really?" Amy's face lit up. "That is so nice of you, Anya." She looked at the door nervously. "Can we go now?"  
  
"Absolutely," Xander said, bustling them both out the back door.  
  
Tara walked over to Spike. "What happened?"  
  
"She tried to kill me," he headed for the stairs to the basement. "May try again later. If she succeeds, I want you two to know that I think you make a nice couple. Love's hard to find, so hold on to it."  
  
"You're going to hide?"  
  
He shook his head, felt anger fill him again. "No. Dammit. I'm going to sleep. Seemed to have missed some of that in all the excitement." He slammed out of the room just as the two slayers came in.  
  
"Where's Spike?" he heard Buffy ask.  
  
"Downstairs," Willow said, in a tone that seemed to imply that she thought he belonged there.  
  
"Whatever." Footsteps crossed the room.  
  
He lay down on his bed, didn't even take his coat off. He closed his eyes but the scene in the cemetery played over and over in his mind.  
  
He listened as the sounds upstairs slowly ceased. The witches went to their room. He could hear Dawn telling Buffy to go to bed, the other slayer agreeing. Soon it was silent. He pictured them all asleep. Dead tired. Wrung out.  
  
All except one. He could imagine Buffy rising from her bed. She would be in some whimsical pajama set completely at odds with the determination in her eyes, the stake in her hand. She would walk as quietly as she ever had out of the room, across the hall, down the stairs and around to the door to the basement. She would creep down the stairs stopping only at the bottom to make sure he was asleep.  
  
Buffy walked in. It was too dark for a human to see what outfit she had on. Fortunately he wasn't human. She would kill him wearing sushi pajamas. He almost laughed out loud.  
  
He reached over and turned on the light. She blinked rapidly, eyes trying to adjust, her body automatically taking a defensive pose.  
  
"I'm not going to fight you."  
  
"You can't fight me." Her tone was expressionless.  
  
"Right. But I'm not even going to try to talk you out of it." He sat up, pulled a pillow up for a backrest. "Not going to beg for my life. Or tell you all the good I've done these past few months. Not going to remind you how it was you that told me to watch over her in the first place."  
  
"Are you ever going to shut up?"  
  
He looked at her eyes. "Don't you even care why I'm not going to fight?"  
  
"Not really, no."  
  
"Well, I'll tell you anyway."  
  
"I can guess. You love me. And if you can't have me, you'd rather be dead."  
  
He burst out laughing. "You really are a piece of work, Summers."  
  
She took a step away from the bed, clearly taken aback. "Oh what? That wasn't the right answer?"  
  
"Not even close." He grabbed a cigarette, lit it. Gesturing to the bed he said, "Have a seat and I'll explain it."  
  
She sat gingerly. Her expression was the most normal he'd seen her wear all evening. "Ok. Explain it to me, Spike."  
  
"Here's how I see it. You don't trust me but Dawn does. She trusts you too. That'll be confusing for her. We continue to fight, then she's going to have to choose sides. She gets distracted. And some night that could get her killed. I couldn't live with that. She needs to live. That means you and I can't be squabbling. But you don't seem inclined to see me as anything but the big bad. And hell, maybe that's what I really am. Who ever heard of a vampire watcher anyway?"  
  
She didn't say anything.  
  
"So, since you can't accept me, and I won't go away, one of us has to die. You've already died twice, which puts you one up on me. So I guess it's my turn. Once I'm gone, and Niblet gets over it, there'll be peace. And she'll be safe. And that's what really matters. For Dawn, I'll die." He blew out a ring of smoke. "But not for you, Buffy." He stubbed out the cigarette and stood up.  
  
She scrambled up after him, stake poised.  
  
"I told you. I wasn't going to fight. Do your bleeding worst, Buffy." And with that he stretched out his arms and closed his eyes. He could feel his coat fall away from his body, leaving the chest area of his shirt perfectly exposed. He felt the rush of air as she pulled back her arm. Heard the slight sound of the downward turn of the stake. Held his breath and forced himself to stay still as he waited for it to strike home.  
  
The silence in the basement was shattered by the sound of a stake hitting the concrete floor.  
  
He opened his eyes.  
  
Buffy was breathing hard. There were angry tears in her eyes.  
  
"I'm her watcher," Spike said firmly.  
  
"Fine. You're her watcher." And she spun on her heel and was gone.  
  
Spike waited till the basement door closed before he collapsed onto the bed. "Bloody hell," he cursed at himself, "that was an idiotic thing to do."  
  
He lay back on the bed and smiled. It may have been stupid, but it had been the only thing to do. He began to chuckle, then to laugh outright. It helped him work out the nerves as he replayed the scene in his head. Finally, exhausted in mind and body, he closed his eyes and slept.  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
It was a quiet walk home. Faith kept thinking about Spike. Wondered at the bravery or foolhardiness that made him go back to the house.  
  
She followed Giles into the courtyard, waited as he unlocked the door. She walked past him into the apartment.  
  
He turned on the light. Just stood for a moment, staring down, eyes unfocused.  
  
She stared at him. Saw the disappointment he no longer tried to hide.  
  
He looked up to meet her eyes. "She hates me," he said matter-of-factly.  
  
"No. She hates me. You're just guilty by association. If I were gone, she'd probably forgive you in a second."  
  
He seemed to consider that as he walked past her and headed into the kitchen. He poured himself a drink, sipped at it slowly. Finally he looked up at her. "That's true, isn't it?" he asked, as if he were finally realizing the consequences of his choice.  
  
She felt something rise in her. A need to protect herself. She grabbed her coat.  
  
He was on her before she could open the door. His eyes were wilder than she'd ever seen them.  
  
"Giles?"  
  
He kissed her hard, pushing her up against the door. She almost panicked before she realized he wasn't hurting her despite the roughness. He had never been so fierce. Something in her responded wildly.  
  
They tore at each other's clothes. The sex was savage, as if neither could get enough of each other. When it was over, they found themselves on the couch; several nearby pieces of furniture were kicked over.  
  
He pulled her to him again, kissed her more gently but his eyes were still heated. "I need to tell you something."  
  
"What is it?" she asked.  
  
"You remember I told you about the night Buffy died and what happened to Glory and to her host Ben?"  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
He stroked her hair back, nuzzled along her hairline, as if memorizing her scent. "That's not exactly how it happened."  
  
"How did it happen?"  
  
"Buffy would have let him go. Once he healed, Glory would have come back and made Buffy pay. So I made sure that she couldn't. I killed Ben. In cold blood. Nobody else saw. Nobody else knows." He pulled away from her, his expression intent. "I've got his blood on my hands. And not just his. In my past, there were others."  
  
She stroked his face, "You didn't mean to. You can't let it eat at you. That's the worst thing."  
  
He laughed softly. "It doesn't eat at me, Faith. None of them do. Because I did what was necessary to protect someone I loved." His eyes got very cold.  
  
She was suddenly afraid. "I'm not going to hurt Buffy."  
  
He was surprised. "I know that. Faith, did you think I meant..."  
  
She nodded, her body still tensed. She could have broken away from him easily, but the power of his gaze held her in place.  
  
"My love." His voice was tender even as his eyes remained hard. "My dear, dear love."  
  
Her breath caught at the words. He'd never said them in quite that way. "But, we're both your loves aren't we? Buffy and I?"  
  
He nodded. "You are. Both of you. In very different ways, but I'd do anything to keep you safe. Even from each other. If you tried to hurt her, I'd hunt you down. And if she tries to harm you." His eyes were like ice. "I'll stop her."  
  
She felt a thrill at his declaration but couldn't help teasing, "Or die trying."  
  
He smiled, the coldness in his eyes melting. "Quite probably the latter."  
  
She felt her tension fade as she grinned. "Uh huh." She climbed off the couch, took his hand and led him up the stairs. "It sounded great though."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Oh yeah," she said as she pushed him into bed and followed him under the covers. "Really great." She heard him sigh. "She could be ok, Giles. Maybe Spike's right and it will just take time? I mean, I changed and I was way more screwed up than B is."  
  
He pulled her close. "I hope you're right."  
  
"Just give it some time. And let her come to you." She settled in next to him. In a shy voice she asked, "Can you say it again, Giles? What you called me before."  
  
His arms tightened around her. "My love."  
  
"My love," she whispered back, trying it out. She liked the sound of it.  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
Tara lay very still and listened to Willow as she slept. Her lover was exhausted, worn out from too little sleep, too many spells, and the disappointment of the night. After a few more minutes of trying to lure sleep, Tara gave up and slipped out of bed. She went down to the kitchen, started to fix herself some warm milk, then realized the back door was ajar. She reached out with her mind to check the wards. Nothing seemed amiss. She walked quietly to the door and peeked out.  
  
Buffy sat on the stairs, head tilted up. "It's beautiful," she said without turning around.  
  
Tara walked to the stairs and sat down beside Buffy. She looked up and saw the moon, full and huge directly above them. "Yes, it is."  
  
Buffy looked around. "Everything here is so beautiful. Even the ugly things. I never realized that till I was in a place that was featureless."  
  
Tara didn't say anything.  
  
Buffy turned to her. "Do you like me, Tara?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I mean do you really like me?"  
  
Tara sensed the slayer didn't want empty assurances that they got along. She considered the question. "I don't know you all that well, Buffy."  
  
"So you don't like me?"  
  
"I didn't say that. I mean I do like you. But it's just..." she trailed off uncomfortably.  
  
"Just what?"  
  
"You're kind of hard to know. You seem to keep yourself all closed off."  
  
Buffy sighed. "That's what Riley used to say."  
  
Tara made a dismissive sound.  
  
"What? You didn't like him?" Buffy smiled, the movement easing the tension on her face. "You'd be one of the few."  
  
Tara giggled. "I kind of thought he was a big doofus. I mean a nice..."  
  
"Doofus?"  
  
She shrugged. "Yeah. Plus I think he was freaked by Willow and me."  
  
Buffy thought. "He never said anything, which probably means you're right since he seemed to have an opinion about everything else."  
  
Tara nodded. "You two made a cute couple but I don't think it was meant to last."  
  
Buffy turned to her, asked seriously, "How do you know?"  
  
"I get feelings, impressions. I just seem to tune in to romance. Can sense how it's gonna go."  
  
"Hmm. So can you sense how it's gonna go with Faith and Giles?"  
  
Tara swallowed.  
  
Buffy didn't press her. She looked back up at the moon. "Do you like Faith?"  
  
"I know her even less than I do you," Tara answered carefully. "But I like how she treats Dawn. And I like the way Mr. Giles smiles when he's around her."  
  
"You think she loves him?"  
  
"Yes." Tara knew she hadn't picked the answer Buffy wanted. She didn't care.  
  
"Hmm."  
  
Both girls stared at the moon.  
  
Tara whispered, "Did you, um, I mean, is Spike..."  
  
Buffy grimaced. "He's fine."  
  
"I heard you go down. Were you going to kill him?"  
  
Buffy didn't answer.  
  
Tara frowned. "What stopped you?"  
  
The slayer took a deep breath. "I didn't kill him because that would have been wrong."  
  
Tara smiled. "That's something I've always admired about you. That you do the right thing, no matter what."  
  
Buffy got up. "I don't feel very admirable."  
  
Tara followed her into the house. "Give it some time."  
  
"How much?"  
  
Tara shrugged. "You were in the portal a long time and it affected you." She ran her hand down Buffy's arm, never actually touching skin. "Your energy is all hot and sort of twisted up. But you'll be ok."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Oh yeah," she assured her. As Buffy headed upstairs, Tara added silently, "I hope."  
  
---------------------------  
  
Dawn woke to brilliant sunshine. She'd been so tired that she had forgotten to draw the curtains. She remembered the events of the night. She checked her leg. The gash was nearly healed. Looking at it, she realized that she had taken on her sister and had won, or at least stopped her. Wow, she thought.  
  
She suddenly had a horrible feeling. Spike had been all alone in the basement. She leapt out of bed and ran downstairs. Barreling around the corner to the basement stairs, she nearly collided with Willow.  
  
"Dawn? Can you come in to the dining room, there's something we have to talk about."  
  
Willow looked so serious, Dawn panicked. "Spike?" she screamed down the stairs.  
  
His head popped around the corner from the dining room. "Bloody hell, Dawn, keep it down or the neighbors will call the police."  
  
She flung herself at him. "You're ok!"  
  
He caught her up with an audible "ummph." "Well, I was," he teased. "Get something to eat and get in here. We all need to talk."  
  
She poured cereal quickly into a bowl and splashed some milk over it before hurrying into the other room. Spike was at one end of the table, Buffy at the other. They didn't look at each other but the tension of last night was gone. Dawn wondered what she had missed. She sat down in the closest chair. Willow followed and chose the seat next to her. Tara was already sitting down. She smiled at Dawn.  
  
Buffy broke the silence. "I know that life has been really crazy for you since I died, but now that I'm back, things need to get back to normal."  
  
"That means no more skipping school," Willow said sternly.  
  
Dawn felt resentment grow inside her. Had they all been discussing her while she slept? She looked over at Spike. He gave her a chagrined smile.  
  
"I don't skip that much," she protested. "Just when I'm really tired. School's boring anyway."  
  
Buffy sighed. "You didn't use to think that. You used to care about your grades."  
  
Dawn laughed. "No. You think I used to care. I didn't really exist before last year remember? I never really went to school. I don't really have an academic record. And the real me, the one that does have to attend that hellhole, thinks it's stupid."  
  
Tara tried a different approach. "It probably does seem that way. But if you don't go to high school then you can't get into college. And college is really fun, you don't want to miss that. "  
  
"If I live that long."  
  
"Dawn!" Buffy was getting angry.  
  
"Girl's got a point," Spike jumped in. "And it's not like you were student of the year, Buffy. How important is going to school after all?"  
  
Willow and Tara looked down, but Buffy laughed. "How important? I'll tell you how important. I met Willow, and Xander there. And even Cordelia. I'd be dead a long time ago if I didn't have friends."  
  
Dawn answered back hotly, "Yeah but they know you're the slayer. Mine don't. They think I'm using drugs or something because I never do my homework and I can't tell them things."  
  
"Well maybe in time you'll make a friend that you know you can trust with your secret," Tara said gently.  
  
"Whatever." Dawn was feeling outnumbered and didn't like it.  
  
Willow stroked her hair. "Enough lecturing, huh, Dawnie? But just one more thing. Be sure not to tell anyone at school about Buffy being back. Not till we figure out how we're going to explain that.  
  
"Yeah, ok," Dawn studied her sister. "That won't be so hard. Giles will know what to say."  
  
Buffy's face tightened.  
  
Spike said quickly, "Well, he's not here right, so for now, Pet, just don't say anything."  
  
"Or about Amy," Buffy reminded her.  
  
Dawn was irritated. She looked around the table. "Why are you all treating me like the baby again? Is it just because Buffy's home?"  
  
"Nobody said you were a baby, Dawn," Buffy shot back.  
  
"That's the same tone of voice you've always used with me." She looked around the table, saw four pairs of concerned eyes. She stood, angrily kicking her chair back. "Ok, let's all forget that I've been patrolling nightly for months now. Let's just overlook the fact that I'm a slayer because it's so much more fun to treat me like I'm ten."  
  
"Dawn," Buffy began.  
  
"I really don't want to hear it. And I'm going to be late for school. Wouldn't want that now would we?" She ran upstairs, showered and dressed quickly. Grabbing her book bag and remembering too late that she'd done none of the homework, she hurried down the stairs.  
  
Buffy was waiting.  
  
"What? Are you going to walk me to school now? Maybe we could hold hands and you could remind me to look both ways before I cross the street?"  
  
Their eyes met and held. Buffy looked away first.  
  
"Have a good day at school, Dawn."  
  
"Can't be any worse than here," she muttered as she stomped out of the house.  
  
She was still fuming two blocks later. A familiar voice interrupted her tirade.  
  
"Something's got you wicked pissed." Faith fell into step with her.  
  
Dawn decided not to go into it. "You're up early."  
  
The other slayer shrugged it off.  
  
"You never get up this early."  
  
"Is it a crime to be worried about you?"  
  
Dawn shook her head. "I'm fine."  
  
"What about Spike? He still among the undead?"  
  
"Yeah, he's ok. But I think something more must have gone on between him and Buffy. They're acting all different now."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I don't know. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until just a while ago. Some slayer, huh?"  
  
"You've been through a lot. Don't beat yourself up."  
  
Dawn saw that the school was in view. She turned to Faith. "I hate it that you can't just hang around like before."  
  
"I know. Me too. But maybe that will change."  
  
Dawn made a face. "Why is everything always up to Buffy? Who died and made her queen?"  
  
Faith smiled. "I used to wonder that very same thing."  
  
Dawn laughed. "I miss you Faith. I love her and I'm glad she's back. But I kinda wish things could go back the way they were."  
  
Faith shook her head. "Not gonna happen, kid. Buffy isn't going anywhere. We just have to figure out how to deal with that."  
  
"We could always run away and join the circus," Dawn offered.  
  
"I think we already did that."  
  
They both laughed.  
  
"Ok, this is my stop," Dawn pointed at the school building.  
  
"Ok."  
  
Suddenly unwilling to let the older girl go, Dawn hugged her tightly.  
  
"What's that for," Faith asked brusquely.  
  
Dawn smiled as she pulled away. "Because I love you. And I don't think I've ever told you that."  
  
Faith seemed pleased at the admission even though she didn't say anything for a long moment. "Maybe you should say it to Buffy too."  
  
"I did. I mean, I think I did."  
  
"Probably should make sure. She might need to hear it." Faith gave her a shy smile. "Because it sounds nice and all."  
  
Dawn nodded. "I'll remember."  
  
"Ok. Later." Faith turned and started walking but after a few steps she turned around. "I love you too," she said softly. Then she hurried away.  
  
Dawn smiled as she went inside to face another school day.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Faith had covered several blocks on the way back to Giles apartment before she realized something was following her. She scanned the area, cursing herself for getting careless just because it was daylight. There were plenty of demons that could move about freely in the sun.  
  
She listened hard, but there was only silence. She started walking again. Every sense was on alert. She waited for the sound and heard it to her left. She spun, stared hard at the house and trees in front of her. Whatever it was must be hiding around the corner.  
  
She pulled out her knife, held it against her leg. "Ok, enough with the hide and seek. Come out where I can see you."  
  
Buffy stepped into view.  
  
Faith felt her heart skip a beat. She tried to order her features not to react even as she tightened her grip on the knife. "What are you doing, Buffy?"  
  
The blonde pursed her lips. "I followed Dawn, then I saw you. So I followed you."  
  
Faith felt a shiver. She resolutely told her fear to go away. But it didn't. Because she was afraid of Buffy, even if she would go to her grave denying that fact. Now that she had people she loved that Buffy could take away from her, it only made her more afraid. But she could still be cocky. "Wicked strange behavior, B, but I'm willing to live and let live. So now that you've followed me, howzabout taking it on home where you belong?"  
  
Buffy moved closer, studied Faith carefully. "You think I'm going to try to hurt you, don't you?"  
  
"Are you?" Faith no longer tried to hide the weapon.  
  
Buffy glanced at it. "A knife? Haven't we played out this scenario before?"  
  
Faith tried not to think of that night, of Buffy winning, of how many times Buffy had won. "Yeah, but we're not fighting." Calling on every ounce of courage she possessed, Faith put the knife back in its hiding place.  
  
She saw Buffy's look of surprise. "We're not?"  
  
"We're not."  
  
Buffy came closer, stood right in front of her. "Why aren't we fighting, Faith? I don't like you. You don't like me. Sunnydale has never been big enough to hold us both."  
  
Faith started to walk.  
  
Buffy followed, continuing to talk. "But it's not about us anymore, is it?"  
  
"It's about Dawn," Faith agreed.  
  
"That's why you're here? Because I don't remember you ever getting up before lunchtime."  
  
"Yeah, that's why I'm here. She's hurting, B. I know you can't see it, because you're hurting too. But she's really been kicked around lately. She acts like it's all ok. And at night, and you'll see this when you start patrolling with her, she can slay with the best of them. But deep down she's a frightened girl."  
  
"She just told us this morning that she wasn't a baby."  
  
Faith rolled her eyes. "Well of course she doesn't want to be treated like a child. She has to do an adult's job. But that doesn't mean she isn't still a kid."  
  
Buffy didn't say anything for a while. When she spoke, her voice was very small. "I can still remember what it felt like. Going to bed one night a normal, popular girl. And waking up the next day to find out I was a freak."  
  
Faith laughed. "I pretty much went to bed a freak and woke up the same way. But I know what you are saying. The whole destiny thing is pretty friggin' heavy."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"We both know it's a death sentence, and death is one thing that Dawn's seen too much of lately."  
  
Buffy stopped, touched Faith's arm to bring her to a halt too. "That's why I'm going to say this. I don't like you, Faith. I wish you weren't here."  
  
"Not exactly a newsflash, B. And the feeling is mutual."  
  
Buffy ignored her. "I don't like you. I may never like you. But Dawn does. You're important to her. And everyone says you've changed."  
  
Faith started to say something, but Buffy cut her off. "I hate that you're here. And I really don't like what's going on with you and Giles but that's none of my business. According to Spike, you've spent as much time training Dawn as he has. And done a good job of it too. She obviously looks up to you."  
  
"She's my friend," Faith said simply, her eyes meeting Buffy's as she tried to force the other slayer to deal with that.  
  
"Your friend then. Whatever. Bottom line is I want my sister to stay alive and as happy as she can be."  
  
Faith began to relax.  
  
"So as much as I'd like to fight and force you yet again out of my life, I find I have to play nice." Buffy held out her hand to the other slayer. "Truce?"  
  
Faith considered for a moment. She knew it could still be a set-up. Tentatively her hand reached out, was gripped in Buffy's. She tensed, but nothing happened. Relief filled her. "Truce," she agreed.  
  
Buffy let go, started walking back toward the house. Then she stopped, turned around. Her face was hard. "Truce or no truce, if you hurt Giles, I'll destroy you."  
  
Faith straightened. "I'm not going to hurt him."  
  
"See that you don't." Buffy turned and walked away fast.  
  
Faith watched her go. So this was what an olive branch felt like. She wondered if it was normally used to whip the other person in the face. She sighed. It didn't matter. They needed peace between them. She and Buffy, all of them really. They needed to get on with life again. To learn to fight together. So that when the next evil thing came to town, they'd be ready.  
  
But that was later. She preferred to focus on now. And Giles might just be waking up. Their activities the night before had worn him out. She hoped he wasn't still tired. Smiling wickedly, she hurried back to the apartment.  
  
TBC 


	6. Truce

Gravity  
  
Chapter 6 - Truce  
  
  
  
Buffy walked quickly back to the house. It was stupid to have gone out. Anyone could have seen her and wondered why a supposedly dead woman was walking around the neighborhood again. But she had been worried about Dawn, had needed to make sure she went to school. It had been a jolt to see her sister with Faith. Buffy's first reaction had been anger, her second jealousy.  
  
She could still see the impulsive hug Dawn had given the other slayer. It was clear her sister looked up to Faith, loved her even. And it was also clear that Faith loved Dawn. Would do anything for her, even if it meant making peace with her enemy. Buffy had been flabbergasted when Faith had put away her weapon and declared that they were not going to fight. She couldn't imagine the Faith she remembered walking away from any fight.  
  
But this wasn't the Faith she had known. As much as Buffy wanted to deny it, the rogue slayer had truly changed. Her whole attitude was different. The angry young woman was gone. Which was not to say she wasn't still a dangerous young woman. Buffy wouldn't have wanted to try to hurt something Faith loved. But she could see that the other slayer's need to pay the world back, and Buffy with it, seemed to have eased.  
  
Even the way Faith looked was different. Her makeup was softer, her clothing less extreme. She was sexy now without being slutty. Was that Giles' influence? Or the months in prison? Or was it Angel's?  
  
Buffy didn't want to go down that road, resolutely steered her mind to other issues. Such as how she was going to explain her sudden reappearance. Dawn had been right, Buffy did need to talk to Giles about this.  
  
She bounded up the stairs and into the front room.  
  
Spike looked up quickly. "Shouldn't have gone out," he said in disapproval.  
  
"I know."  
  
He seemed surprised at the admission. "See anything interesting? Kill anyone?"  
  
"Very funny." She walked into the kitchen, poured some orange juice.  
  
He stood in the doorway watching her.  
  
She tried to pretend he wasn't there, concentrated on her drink. Finally, she turned to him in exasperation. "Don't worry, Dawn didn't know I was following her."  
  
"Good. She's mad enough at us as it is."  
  
"At me, you mean," she edged around him and headed for the couch. "I doubt that she could get mad at you at this point."  
  
He shrugged. "She's been mad at me plenty of times. Just not lately is all."  
  
She smiled. "I ran into Faith there too."  
  
He watched her intently.  
  
"We made peace. Or our version of it."  
  
"Good. Faith's alright."  
  
She laughed mockingly. "I hardly take that as a recommendation, Spike." She looked around, as if reacquainting herself with the living room.  
  
"How's it feel to be back?"  
  
"Ok. Getting better. Willow filled me in on what's been going on but I think she left out some stuff."  
  
"Wasn't much time last night for the full story."  
  
"Or else she didn't want to make me any more angry than I already was."  
  
"That too I suppose."  
  
"Well, why don't you catch me up the rest of the way. Say for instance, what happened to that damned robot? Did Willow rebuild her again?"  
  
He shook his head. "Didn't have the heart, none of us did. She took it apart and we melted what we could. The rest she used in other projects or threw away. Said she wanted to make sure that nobody every rebuilt her again."  
  
"Thank god for that." She sighed. "What about Riley, he didn't come back did he?"  
  
"Captain America didn't show his face. You aren't still mooning over him, are you?"  
  
"He's a better man than you, Spike." Her tone was neutral despite the harshness of the words. She wasn't sure anymore if she really believed in Riley's goodness, or Spike's wickedness.  
  
"Sure he is." Spike got up, his face carefully controlled.  
  
"I'm sorry," she surprised herself by saying. "I shouldn't have said that."  
  
"No, I imagine you shouldn't have." He walked away, then stopped and without turning around said, "Thing is, I guess when you were dead I made up this little fantasy that you'd come back and see all the good I've done and how Dawn is alright because of me and you'd think the better of me for it. Maybe a lot better." He sighed. "From where I stand now, that fantasy looks pretty dim."  
  
"Spike..." She wasn't sure what she wanted to say.  
  
He walked out of the room before she could continue.  
  
She sat alone for a while, then wandered upstairs. Willow and Tara were out. She was suddenly very tired. She pulled off her boots and walked to her bed. Not bothering to get undressed she crawled under the covers and quickly fell asleep.  
  
She woke hours later. Had the sense of someone watching her. Turned quickly in annoyance, expecting it to be Spike. It was Giles.  
  
"Oh," she said in surprise.  
  
He smiled, the gentle smile she loved. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
She nodded, sat up in bed.  
  
He came to sit next to her. Stared at her for the longest time. "To see you again is a luxury I never thought I'd have."  
  
She swallowed hard. "About what I said last night..."  
  
His expression was stern. "I'm not going to explain myself to you. Or defend the choices I've made."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I'm with Faith now. I know you don't like it, but you'll have to accept it."  
  
"She and I talked."  
  
"Yes, she told me."  
  
Buffy nodded. "Dawn really loves her."  
  
"So do I." Giles voice was slightly defiant.  
  
"Yeah." She looked down. Her voice was very small. "Do you still love me?"  
  
"Oh, Buffy, how can you even ask that?"  
  
She looked up to see him smiling at her, realized his eyes were bright with unshed tears. "Giles? I've been so scared. It was so hard to hang on."  
  
"I know." He held his arms open to her. "But you're safe now."  
  
This time she didn't hesitate; she lifted her own arms up, held him tightly.  
  
"Buffy," he murmured. "I thought I'd lost you forever."  
  
"You can't get rid of me that easily." She smiled into his chest. Her watcher. She had her watcher back. Then doubt crept in. "Are you still my watcher, Giles?"  
  
"Why? Did you want to switch over to Spike?" His tone was gently teasing.  
  
She laughed softly. "No. As in please god no." She buried her head tighter into his chest, whispered, "It's just that you have Faith now, too."  
  
"And I imagine that there will be quite a bit of adjustment for all of us. But you were my first slayer and you will always be that. My relationship with Faith doesn't change that."  
  
"Ok," she said, not quite believing.  
  
"Let's go downstairs now. Everyone is here. Amy wants to go home and we have to decide how to explain her absence."  
  
"And my reappearance. I can't stay in the house forever."  
  
"No, you can't." He got up, held his hand out.  
  
"You go on. Just give me a minute, and I'll be down there."  
  
"Of course." He smiled at her, his expression full of joy. "Welcome home, Buffy."  
  
His delight was infectious. She found herself grinning back broadly even if she still wasn't exactly sure what home meant.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------  
  
Xander looked around the living room. This was all so weird. And so great. Buffy was back, Amy was human, even seeing Spike and Faith was somehow normal now. Dawn came in holding a soda, she seemed subdued. "Hey, Dawnster, come sit next to me."  
  
She smiled and joined him on the couch.  
  
"So what's with the long face?"  
  
"School sucked."  
  
He chuckled. "I hear you there. It's really unfair we have to sit in school for all those years and miss out on some quality sleeping time."  
  
She giggled. "Where's Anya?"  
  
He rolled his eyes. "She's up with Tara searching the internet for a wedding dress she liked. Someone she once granted the power of the wish wore it."  
  
"How long ago?"  
  
"Oh, 1481 I think she said." He shrugged. "Apparently the blushing bride sat for some famous painter. If Anya can find the portrait she can get the dress copied."  
  
"Seems like a lot of work for a dress," Dawn observed.  
  
"Preaching to the choir here." He saw Anya and Tara coming down the stairs. Anya held some papers in her hand. "Looks like they met with success."  
  
"See," Anya said as she sat down on the other side of Xander and held out the picture. "Isn't it beautiful?"  
  
He looked at the dress. It was white and sort of involved. He wasn't sure why it was prettier than any of the other dresses she'd shown him. "It's great, An. Whatever you want, you know that."  
  
She kissed him. "I know. I want our wedding to be perfect."  
  
"As long as you're in it, it will be," he responded, trying to ignore Dawn who was making gagging motions.  
  
"I saw that," Anya told her. "Keep it up and you won't be the flower girl."  
  
"I don't want to be the flower girl. And I'm like way too old."  
  
"I have to have a flower girl. All the books say so. A young girl to strew lovely petals ahead of me. It's required. And you are the only young girl I know."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'm the strewer."  
  
"Strewer. Slayer. Man, are you multi-talented," Xander winked at her.  
  
Buffy walked over and Anya dug into her purse. The ex-demon pulled out a fabric swatch and handed it to the slayer. "I've decided you can be one of my attendants."  
  
"Oh, joy." Buffy eyed the peach taffeta dubiously. "Who else is going to be in it?"  
  
"Well, Willow and Tara of course."  
  
The two witches looked over with identical expressions of dismay.  
  
Anya ignored them. "But I think I need more attendants. Three is not enough." She stood. "Faith, Amy, I'd like you in my wedding."  
  
Amy seemed to be frantically thinking up an excuse, but Faith just shook her head. "I don't do weddings, Anya."  
  
"Nonsense. You will look stunning in this color." She handed a fabric swatch over. "There's a picture on the other side."  
  
Faith studied it. "This is like a prom dress. In hell." She handed it back. "I don't think so."  
  
Xander tried and failed to imagine Faith in the poufy dress Anya had picked out. Faith may have changed, he thought, but not that much.  
  
Giles stood up. "All right, everyone. It's time to figure out some things. Let's start with Amy's situation." He looked over at the young woman, who smiled at him gratefully. "I imagine you would like to go home, my dear. And I know your father is missing you."  
  
"He really is," Willow confirmed.  
  
"But you've been missing now for two years. You can't just reappear without a decent reason for your absence. Especially with Buffy showing up at the same time."  
  
"I thought I could say I had amnesia. That happens after a bump on the head, right? And that MOO group did hit me when they captured me."  
  
"People can go for years not remembering," Tara agreed. "And nobody really knows what triggers their memory when it does come back."  
  
Giles nodded. "I was thinking along those lines too. But Amy, I think that it would be better for you and better for us if you were found in LA and not here. Will cause less questions all around."  
  
"Plus then you won't have to explain to your dad why you were in Sunnydale and didn't come to him at once," Willow offered with a wry smile.  
  
Faith spoke up. "Angel can help. He knows a woman who runs a shelter for kids on the street. He did her a favor or two, she could probably vouch for you having come in a few times."  
  
When Faith mentioned Angel, Xander turned to see Buffy's response. Her face tightened a bit but otherwise she didn't react.  
  
Amy looked around. "I can do that. But how will I get there without being seen?"  
  
"I'll take you," Tara said before anyone else could reply. "I have no connection with Angel or LA."  
  
Buffy spoke up suddenly. "I'd like to ride with you."  
  
Giles frowned. "I don't think that's a good idea."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Maybe because you're supposed to be dead," Faith answered sharply.  
  
"Or maybe because you don't want me to see Angel?" Buffy's voice was bitter.  
  
"Why should I care who you see?" Faith sounded serious. "It's just seems kind of stupid for you to go with them, if the whole point is to make it like there's no connection between your reappearance and Amy's."  
  
Buffy's lips tightened but she didn't argue.  
  
Giles nodded. "Ok then. I'll call Angel and see if he can arrange things. If all goes well, Amy can be in LA in a few hours and back in Sunnydale by nightfall. I'm sure your father will be thrilled to see you."  
  
Amy smiled at him happily.  
  
"But what about Buffy?" Xander asked. "How we going to explain her coming back from the dead? I mean there's a tombstone and everything."  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence.  
  
"And it's not like your face was all mooshed so that we couldn't tell that it wasn't really you that died," Dawn said pensively.  
  
"Evil twin?" Willow offered. "You know, sort of like in the Parent Trap. You were separated and then impersonated each other?"  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows.  
  
"It could work," Willow objected.  
  
"Well except that Dad won't remember any twin," Buffy objected.  
  
"Maybe he didn't know. Maybe the twin was stolen by a crazed nurse that wanted a child of her own?" Willow was running with the idea.  
  
Giles smiled. "Yes, well, I supposed that's a possibility."  
  
Spike spoke up, "Well you could do like a vampire does. Remain officially dead. Then live a life outside of society."  
  
"Good idea, Spike. Hey, maybe she could move in with you?" Xander scoffed.  
  
"I'm just saying it's the way we come back from the dead. Happens all the time."  
  
"I'd prefer to have my old life back, thanks." Buffy looked at Giles. "There must be a way."  
  
"Plastic surgery," Anya offered. "Someone wanted to kidnap you. But they didn't want us to know. So they hired a strange woman to impersonate you and they redid her face so she looked exactly liked you. Unfortunately she slipped and fell off a big tower and then you got away from the kidnappers and came back."  
  
Xander laughed. "Well it worked on Bionic Woman, it could work for us."  
  
Buffy closed her eyes. "Scary as these ideas are sounding they just might work."  
  
"Why not make people forget?" Dawn looked around. "Make whole new memories. Like the monks did when they made me?"  
  
Everyone looked at her. Then they turned and looked at Willow.  
  
"I know. Ask D'Hoffryn for the spell." She looked around. "Do I have to go to Arashmaharr now?"  
  
Giles shook his head. "Let's see if we can come up with another idea before we resort to him. Lord knows what he'll want in return for this spell."  
  
"Don't think you'll be out and about tomorrow, Buff," Xander noted sadly.  
  
She sighed. "Well, I'd rather we do this right than rush it. But we should get Amy home. Are you going to make that call, Giles?"  
  
He nodded. "Maybe you'd like to say hello to Angel before I get into the details with him?"  
  
She smiled gratefully and rose to join him. "That would be great."  
  
They went into the kitchen.  
  
Tara looked over at Xander. "Can I borrow your car?" At his nod, she looked over at Willow, "We can put a glamour on it, make it look completely different."  
  
The other witch nodded. "Sure we can, good thinking."  
  
Amy smiled. "I'll be home soon. This is so great."  
  
Xander saw her smile fade. "Do I hear a but coming on?"  
  
She nodded. "I've missed two years. I'll never catch up."  
  
"I graduated with no real schooling to prepare me. You can finish too. It's not that hard," Anya countered.  
  
"Or you can go for your GED. I'll help you study," Willow offered.  
  
"We need another rat," Tara said. At their looks, she explained. "We don't want anything to look funny right? Willow's been caring for you as a rat, Amy, since high school. How do we explain the sudden disappearance? I'm going to look at the pet stores when I'm in LA. A brown rat shouldn't be that hard to find."  
  
"Good thinking," Willow smiled at her.  
  
Faith nudged Dawn. "We could be patrolling."  
  
Dawn looked uncertainly into the kitchen. "Buffy?"  
  
Faith shook her head. "Shouldn't come out till she's officially alive again. That doesn't mean we get to slack off."  
  
Xander watched the two slayers. Dawn was growing up so fast around Faith. On the other hand, he wasn't sure there was anyone better to keep her alive.  
  
"Mind some company?" Spike asked.  
  
"The more the merrier," Faith smiled back. She turned to Amy. "Good luck and all."  
  
Dawn smiled at Amy and followed Faith out. Spike was about to go but Amy held out her hand and stopped him.  
  
"So did you find out the answer to that question I asked?"  
  
He shook his head. "Jury's still out. But it's not looking good for the defendant."  
  
She gave him a dazzling smile. "Is it tacky to say yay?"  
  
He grinned back, "I wouldn't say tacky, exactly."  
  
Dawn's voice sounded from the hall, "Spike, you with us or not?"  
  
He gave Amy another grin and hurried out.  
  
"He's yummy," Amy observed.  
  
"You really have been a rat too long." Xander made a face at her.  
  
She just laughed.  
  
Anya picked up the fabric swatch that Faith had rejected and handed it to Amy. "Maybe while you're in LA you could look for shoes to match this?"  
  
Amy gulped.  
  
Willow took pity on Amy. "Anya, she can't be in your wedding. That would make no sense if she's trying to look like she's been away forever. Three attendants and a flower girl will have to be enough."  
  
Anya pouted. Then she looked at Xander. "Maybe you could work on Faith?"  
  
"Oh no." He held up his hands. "I'm staying out of this one, An."  
  
She glared at him but it didn't change his mind. There was little his fiancée could do to him that compared to what he could expect from Faith if he pressed the subject of wearing a peach bridesmaid's dress in his wedding. He might be kind of slow on the uptake sometimes, he thought wryly, but he wasn't a fool.  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
Buffy watched Giles dial the phone, her heart hammering wildly. The last time she had seen Angel had been the night of her mother's burial. She could still recall standing by the gravesite and sensing his presence, holding out her hand and feeling his envelope it.  
  
Giles' voice brought her out of her reverie. "Hello again, Cordelia."  
  
Buffy made a face.  
  
"Yes, it's me. No, I don't need help with Faith. She's really quite all right. I was hoping to speak with Angel please. Thank you." There was a pause as Giles waited.  
  
"She hasn't changed much." Buffy smiled.  
  
"According to Wesley she has but it's damned difficult to see any difference from here." He perked up. "Angel? I have a bit of a pressing problem now. No, not that spell you and Wesley were helping us with. Do you remember Amy the Rat? Yes well she's been deratted and now I need to be able to get her back into human life without attracting undue attention. Faith thought perhaps your friend Anne could help with that?"  
  
Buffy couldn't wait any longer. Nudging Giles to get his attention, she pointed to the phone, then to herself.  
  
He nodded in understanding. "We can work the details out in a minute. I have someone that wants to tell you why we no longer need that spell." He handed her the phone and walked away to give her some privacy.  
  
She took a deep breath before lifting the receiver to her ear. "Angel?"  
  
There was silence, then an incredulous, "Buffy?"  
  
"It's me."  
  
There was no sound from the other end. "Angel?" she said worriedly.  
  
"I'm here. Just trying to take this in." More silence. "You're really back?"  
  
"I'm really back." She smiled at his bewilderment.  
  
"But...how?"  
  
"Magic. I was trapped in the portal I fell into. They figured out a way to bring me back."  
  
"Wow." There was more silence. Then he chuckled, "I guess I should be used to the idea by now, I mean I came back from hell, Wolfram and Hart brought Darla back from the dead, now you."  
  
Just the thought of Darla made Buffy jealous. Angel had told her as they sat by her mother's grave how his sire had come back to life a human, how he had tried to save her. Buffy could remember the sorrow in his voice when he told her how he couldn't stop Drusilla from turning Darla again. There had been something more, something he wasn't saying.  
  
"Yeah, well resurrection still isn't your everyday occurrence," she teased.  
  
"Guess it's that whole higher purpose thing," he mused. "You and I are necessary and all that."  
  
"I guess. It feels strange though, being back I mean."  
  
"I know. Nothing has changed but everything's different. I felt the same way."  
  
"I remember."  
  
He chuckled. "You at least seem to have come back sane. I guess Giles isn't having to chain you up the way you did me?"  
  
"Oh I'm sure he gets plenty of that kind of action with Faith," she said sarcastically.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Buffy felt guilty. She shouldn't have said that. She tried to backtrack. "I mean as his new slayer and all."  
  
He wasn't fooled. "They're lovers?"  
  
Why, she wondered, are you jealous? "Yeah."  
  
"Wouldn't have seen that. But she's changed a lot since you saw her last."  
  
"Yeah I know." Buffy didn't want to talk about Faith anymore. "So what about you, how are you doing?"  
  
"Me? Oh I'm good." He suddenly seemed distracted.  
  
Buffy thought she could hear someone else talking "So you're busy? I mean with the detective business?"  
  
He was whispering, "Not now. I'll look at it later."  
  
Another voice was arguing in a crazy singsong way. It sort of reminded Buffy of Drusilla. Angel wasn't trying to reform her too, was he? "Who is that, Angel?"  
  
"That? Oh, that's Fred."  
  
"Fred?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Voice is a bit high for your typical Fred."  
  
"Oh. Well, that's because this Fred is a woman."  
  
"Used to be a cow though. Heh. Got away and ate bark in a cave," the woman said.  
  
"No bark now, Fred. Why don't you go get some oatmeal?" Angel's voice was gentle.  
  
Buffy felt her heart sink. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting. Angel picked up strays all the time. That's what he did, helped those that had nowhere else to turn. It didn't mean anything. But something about this one bothered her more than most. "Listen, you sound really busy with Fred and all, and I know Giles needs to talk to you, so I'm going to let you go."  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
She didn't say anything, just waited.  
  
"I missed you."  
  
"I missed you too." She felt tears threaten. Sniffed several times. She motioned to Giles. Before she handed the phone to him she said to Angel, "I'll see you around?"  
  
"Count on it," he said softly.  
  
The voice in the background was clear, "Don't just count. Make it harder. See like this. One, four, nine, sixteen, twenty-five, thirty-six, forty- nine..."  
  
Buffy passed the receiver to her watcher, tried to fight the irritation she felt. She wandered into the front room.  
  
Willow came over. "How'd it go?"  
  
"Good," Buffy remembered that Willow had told her she had been the one to tell Angel that the slayer had died. "You saw this Fred person, right?"  
  
Willow thought back. "Oh, yeah, the one they rescued from that demon world."  
  
"So, umm, what does she look like?"  
  
Willow frowned. "Gosh, Buff. I don't remember."  
  
"Will, was she pretty?"  
  
Her friend grinned sheepishly. "Well ok, maybe I noticed a little. She's small, long dark hair, real delicate looking. But she's like totally loony on account of too long a stay in that demon place. I mean in a mad scientist kind of way because she seems really smart too."  
  
Buffy frowned. "I think she's staying there."  
  
"Oh, Buffy, you know that doesn't mean anything. Angel is still totally in love with you."  
  
"Sure. I know." But she didn't know anymore. He seemed to love so many people. Faith, Darla, now this Fred person. Buffy might believe she was his soul mate but it sure was getting crowded in his soul.  
  
She looked around. "Where's Dawn?"  
  
"Patrolling with Spike and Faith." At her look, Willow defended the others. "You really shouldn't be seen, Buffy. You know that. That's why they didn't ask you to come."  
  
"It's like they snuck out," Buffy complained.  
  
"Oh there was nothing sneaky about it. They got up, announced their plans, and left same as always."  
  
"You know what I mean." She dropped the subject as she saw Giles come out.  
  
"We're all set, Amy. Angel is already making some calls. It may take a bit longer than we thought. He wants you to become a familiar face around the shelter so that when you do 'suddenly' remember who you are there will be a number of people to back the story up. Do you mind living a lie for a week or so?"  
  
Amy shook her head. "I was worrying about how I would explain being gone. This sounds good. Kind of scary though."  
  
"Just think of how happy your dad will be when you call him from LA." Willow shared a smile with Amy.  
  
Tara stood up, took the directions to the shelter from Giles. "Well, we can go then. Xander, Anya, you want a ride back to your apartment?"  
  
They both stood and followed Tara and Amy out.  
  
Willow looked over at Buffy. "I'll be right back. I just want to help Tara enchant the car. Well and to say goodbye." She grinned.  
  
"No problem." As she watched her friend walk out to join the others, Buffy sighed. The house seemed very quiet and close with everyone gone.  
  
Giles moved close. "Everything all right?"  
  
"Sure," she tried to fake a smile, knew she failed. "What could be wrong?"  
  
"It will get easier. And soon you'll be able to come and go as you please." His hand fell gently on her shoulder.  
  
She reached up and placed her own hand over it for a moment. "It all feels so strange." She walked away from him, began to pick things up aimlessly from the tables, stopped when she came to the photo of Joyce with Dawn and her. She touched the glass softly, tracing the outline of her mother's face.  
  
"I miss her too," Giles voice was soft. "She was an extraordinarily good woman."  
  
"People lose their mothers everyday. How come they don't tell you it will be this hard when it happens to you?" She fought back tears.  
  
"I don't know," he said. "I suspect even if they told you, you wouldn't believe them."  
  
"I never knew anything could hurt this much."  
  
She fought the sadness for a moment, tried to be strong. It was too hard. "God I miss her, Giles."  
  
"I know," he said, his voice a bit ragged. "I know you do."  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Tara drove carefully, not wanting to attract any attention. Amy stared out the window.  
  
"You want some music?"  
  
"No, that's ok."  
  
A few more miles passed in silence.  
  
"You ok?"  
  
"Uh huh." Amy's response lacked any real conviction.  
  
"You don't seem it." Tara glanced over at the other witch. "You purple?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Tara giggled. "Just checking to make sure you were paying attention." She glanced at Amy again to see the reaction.  
  
Amy smiled. "I'm sorry. I'm just really caught up in all that's happened. I'm trying to make sense of it. Little things like who everybody is and what happened to things. It's confusing."  
  
"I imagine it is."  
  
"Like you for instance. I remember what I saw as a rat, so I know that you and Willow are involved and all. But where did you come from?"  
  
"Hell," Tara replied bitterly.  
  
"Yeah? Wow."  
  
"You really are a Sunnydale native." Tara laughed. "No, not real hell. But my family, well everyone but my mom, they were pretty hard on me when I was growing up."  
  
Amy stretched. "I'm just the opposite. It was my mom who made my life a living hell. She was a witch too."  
  
"Yeah, so was mine. Only maybe with a different outlook."  
  
"She didn't switch bodies with you so she could relive her youth, did she?"  
  
"Nope," Tara confirmed.  
  
"Definitely different."  
  
"Where's your mom now?"  
  
"Tartarus, I hope," Amy sneered. "What about your mom?"  
  
"She died. When I was seventeen."  
  
"I'm sorry. How did it happen?"  
  
"My dad said she fell. Said it was an accident. But he lied about some other things." Tara remembered how she used to fear that she would become a demon. "And he had a really bad temper. In public he was all upstanding but when he got mad, he'd whale on us."  
  
"So you think he killed her?"  
  
Tara shrugged. "Wouldn't put it past him."  
  
"But you got away." Amy observed.  
  
"Yeah. I did." Tara smiled tightly. "They can't hurt me anymore."  
  
"So did your mom teach you witchcraft?"  
  
"Some little things. Most of it though I learned on my own." Tara saw the exit that Giles had told her to take. She moved off the freeway and into LA proper.  
  
"I taught myself too." Amy trailed off as she stared out the window. "Wow. LA looks so big."  
  
"I imagine everything looks big after living in a cage for as long as you have."  
  
"It wasn't a bad cage. You could have changed the bedding more often though," Amy was only half teasing.  
  
"Sorry. I'll remember that for the replacement rat."  
  
Amy didn't say anything.  
  
"You scared?"  
  
"I am. I've never really been on my own, not even to camp."  
  
Tara pulled over across the street from the shelter. "Angel said to look for Anne. She's tall, blonde, runs the shelter. Introduce yourself as Jane Smith and Anne will explain the plan."  
  
Amy sat unmoving.  
  
Tara leaned over, touched the other girl's shoulder. "Your dad really needs you back, Amy. This is the first step. Anne will look out for you."  
  
"Ok. I'm going." Amy took a deep breath. She waited till some teenagers had walked into the shelter, then got out of the car and hurried across the street to the shelter door. She turned to look at the car, frowned for a moment.  
  
Tara realized that Amy was seeing the glamour they'd put on it. Tara would appear as an old man, and Xander's car would seem to be a large sedan. She smiled and waved, saw Amy wave back then walk inside.  
  
Tara let out the breath she'd been holding. They were asking so much of Amy. It was necessary but Tara couldn't help but feel for the other girl. It was really hard to live a lie.  
  
Tara pulled the car away from the curb, eased into the light traffic. She needed to get a rat. It was a cinch there weren't any pet stores open this early in the morning. But that was ok. She could probably get a rat at her next stop. Tara smiled happily.  
  
She drove for a few minutes, then parked in front of a warehouse in one of LA's seedier districts.  
  
A young man came out of the shadows. His wary look eased when he saw her. "Hey Tara, check you out. All grown up now and quite the woman."  
  
She laughed. "These things do happen."  
  
"So they do. And I like, I like. You got a honey back at college or could I apply?" he teased as he walked her to a door.  
  
"I'm spoken for, Colin."  
  
He laughed good-naturedly and clutched at his heart. When her resolve didn't falter, he shrugged and keyed in a code to an access box on the wall. The door opened soundlessly.  
  
"She'll be really glad to see you, Tara. It's been a long time."  
  
"It's not like I don't call every week," she shot back gently. As she walked into the building, witch light sprang up ahead of her, showing the way to the stairs and down to the living area.  
  
She opened the door slowly, saw several heads turn. They waved lazily but otherwise ignored her. She walked down the hall, stopped when she came to the right door. She knocked softly, a smile already forming on her face.  
  
The door opened quickly. The face that looked out was snake-like for a moment, then transformed into an older woman. "Tara!"  
  
Tara was pulled into a hug. "Mom. You don't have to go all human on my account."  
  
Her mother held her at arm's length, inspecting Tara's face. Her face relaxed back into the reptilian features it had worn when she opened the door. "You look tired. And your energy is all off," she chided, pulling her daughter into the room. "Your father's not making trouble for you again is he?"  
  
"No. We've been busy. We resurrected Buffy. Willow found the spell," Tara said proudly.  
  
Her mother smiled. "Willow sounds like an exceptional young woman."  
  
Tara looked down. "I wish you could meet her someday."  
  
Her mother's hand brushed Tara's hair. "You know that won't happen, darling. I'm supposed to be dead. And how would she like seeing me like this? She thinks you're human, Tara. And for all practical purposes you are or you'd look like I do now. But just because she accepts that you might have been a demon, doesn't mean that she'll accept that your mother is one."  
  
"I think you're wrong, Mom. Not everyone is like Dad."  
  
"But enough people are, my dear, that it frightens me. When I think of the state you were in when I finally got you away from him. I'd do anything to prevent that from happening again."  
  
"It's ok, Mom. I'm not going to tell anyone. I've kept your secret for two years now. No one is going to find out. Especially not him. He doesn't even suspect that you are still alive. He still thinks I just ran away." Tara felt terrible memories surrounding her, she whispered, "As if I ever would have back then."  
  
"You're a different person now. Strong and capable. He can't hurt you anymore. Let's not waste our breath talking about him, hmm. We have hardly any time as it is," she led Tara to a couch. "How long can you stay?"  
  
"Till nine. Maybe later if you can manifest a rat for me."  
  
"For breakfast?" her mother looked worried.  
  
"For a pet," she giggled.  
  
Her mother was relieved. "Of course I can. What color?"  
  
"Brown."  
  
Tara's mother closed her eyes and muttered in a language Tara had only recently relearned. "Ketlblm rdzachk portlmb."  
  
A brown rat appeared on the couch between them. It promptly climbed into Tara's lap and fell asleep.  
  
"Cool," she said, awed as always by her mother's power.  
  
"You should be able to do this too. I think whatever kept you human also makes it harder for you to do magic." She touched her daughter's forehead, closed her eyes for a moment, then smiled. "But you're much stronger than last time, must be Willow's influence."  
  
Tara smiled happily.  
  
Her mother laughed. "Alright I want to know what's happened since the last time you called."  
  
Tara relaxed as she caught her mother up on everything.  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
"So Spike," Faith said as she punched the ugly vampire that was threatening her, "What's the story with you and Amy?"  
  
"Not much to tell," he replied as he dusted his own opponent then tossed Faith the stake.  
  
"Uh huh," Faith said as she stabbed viciously at the vampire. His face turned to shock but she was already walking away before he exploded into ash.  
  
"Sure looked like something from where we were standing," Dawn chimed in, flipping a huge male off her back and following him down with the stake. He was dust.  
  
Faith looked around, surveying the area. There were no more vampires to be fought. She felt the normal hunger and horniness start to rise. She focused on the latter feeling, told it to hold off till she was alone with Giles again. He seemed to enjoy the enthusiasm she brought home with her. She grinned.  
  
"Don't want to even ask what you're thinking of," Spike chuckled.  
  
She gave him an amused look. He seemed to generally have a pretty good idea of what she was thinking.  
  
"I'm hungry," Dawn complained.  
  
Faith nodded. "Me too. Let's go grab something."  
  
They walked across the street to the all-night convenience store. Faith warmed up a burrito while Dawn eyed the ice cream bars. Spike stayed outside. Mostly to avoid the shoplifter mirrors, of which there were many. The clerk tended to watch them all nervously whenever Faith came in. He remembered her from the last time she lived in Sunnydale. So I didn't always choose to pay for what I ate, she thought in amusement. No reason to get all bent.  
  
She knew it was wrong but she couldn't help it. Making sure he was still watching, she stuck a lighter into her pocket. She saw his eyes widen. Yeah right, sucker, she thought.  
  
"You ready there, squirt? We've got lots more to do tonight."  
  
Dawn made her choice and hurried to join her.  
  
Faith walked slowly up to the cashier, making sure her hips moved as seductively as she could make them. She put down the burrito, pointed to Dawn's ice cream, and said cockily, "And a pack of those," pointing over to the brand Spike usually smoked. The clerk tried to hide a smile as he pulled down the pack.  
  
He was ringing it up and had almost hit total when she said, "Oh yeah, and this too." She pulled the lighter out of her pocket and tossed it on the counter. She almost laughed at his look of disappointment. She leaned in close, made her voice a delicate hiss. "I don't steal anymore so you can relax. But if I did steal, there's no way I'd let you catch me doing it."  
  
He swallowed audibly.  
  
She backed away and handed him the money.  
  
He counted back her change uneasily.  
  
With a sweet smile she put a dollar into the "Save the Children" box. She looked over at the clerk. "Now this is a good cause. You save them as kids, they don't grow up to be like me."  
  
He nodded, then stopped as if wondering whether that had been a good idea.  
  
"You have a good night now," Faith said breezily as she gathered up her stuff and walked out.  
  
"Was that really necessary?" Dawn asked as she followed her out, already unwrapping her ice cream.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Spike was drinking from a thermos when they joined him. He took the cigarettes, looked askance at the lighter. "The one I have is still good. Was this on special or something?"  
  
"Don't ask," Dawn instructed.  
  
"Just setting something to rights is all," Faith said as she handed Spike back his change. For once she didn't feel so bad about sponging off the others. "Hey, Giles heard from the Council today. They're freeing up my funds next week."  
  
"So I can teach you how to use an ATM?" Dawn asked excitedly.  
  
"Hell, I know how to use one. I've just never done it with my own card before." Faith smirked.  
  
Spike burst out laughing. "Ah the nostalgia of the bad old days."  
  
They shared a look.  
  
"Not fair," Dawn said. "I don't have a bad past so I can't be in the club."  
  
"Well now," Spike tried to cheer her up. "You don't know that for sure. Those knights seemed pretty set on killing you. So maybe as the key you were used for all kinds of horrible things."  
  
Dawn seemed pleased at the thought. "And now I'm good. Cool. I'm one of the reformed gang now."  
  
Faith shook her head and smiled over at Spike.  
  
He grinned back. "So if you're coming into all this money, can I expect some rather large blood deliveries courtesy of you?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah." She turned to Dawn. "And I owe you like a hundred by now. Don't worry, I'll pay."  
  
"I know you will," Dawn smiled at her fondly. "I'm just glad you'll have your own funds. No more worrying."  
  
"And lots more shopping. There's this wicked cool leather coat I've been eyeing."  
  
"Can't go wrong with leather," Spike agreed.  
  
"Yeah, until a big ugly vampire wrecks it, that is." Dawn turned to her watcher. "So you never answered the question about Amy."  
  
"No. I didn't." His tone was clear. He didn't want to talk about this.  
  
Dawn didn't care. "So you think you could like her?"  
  
He sighed. "Why is this so important to you?"  
  
"I want you to be happy. Amy might make you happy. And she's a witch and all so she's not just a normal person."  
  
Faith saw his face tighten. "Kiddo, he's not in love with Amy."  
  
He looked away.  
  
Dawn wouldn't let up. "Well you just met her. How will you know unless you give it a chance? She sure seems to dig you."  
  
Faith saw Spike's fists clench. "Leave him alone, Dawn. This isn't our business."  
  
"He's my watcher. And he's in love with my sister. And she's not in love with him. And I'm caught in the middle. So how is that not my business?"  
  
Faith shot her a warning look. "It just isn't, ok."  
  
Dawn looked at Spike, saw something in his face that made her shrug in resignation. "Fine. Whatever." She threw her ice cream stick away and walked away from them.  
  
Spike looked at Faith. "Thanks."  
  
"For what it's worth, I agree with Dawn." She threw away the burrito wrapper and went after the other slayer. It was a few minutes before a subdued Spike caught up with them.  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
Willow sat up in bed with a start. "Tara?"  
  
The room was empty. And too quiet without the sound of her lover's breathing. Willow even missed the sound of Amy rustling in her cage. She glanced at the alarm clock. It was still very early. Tara was probably on her way back. Except no, she had said she was going to pick up a new rat, Willow thought in confusion. She frowned. Where had Tara been planning to stay in between dropping Amy off and waiting for the pet stores to open? There were hours to go yet. Willow's frown deepened. Why hadn't this occurred to her before? Even now she was having a hard time thinking about it.  
  
She got out of bed and found the crystal ball that Giles had given Tara for her birthday. Bringing it back to the bed she sat and slowly cleared her thoughts of everything but her girlfriend. Willow stared at the ball, but it stayed perfectly clear, just as it always did. Damn thing never worked for her.  
  
She was about to give up when she remembered the feeling that has startled her out of sleep. That Tara needed her. She concentrated on the emotions she had felt. Suddenly a mist began to swirl inside the ball. When it cleared, Willow could see and hear Tara and--Willow gasped in dismay--a demon. She was about to panic when she realized that Tara didn't appear to be in any distress. But it was too late. Her lack of concentration caused the picture to wink out.  
  
Damn it, she cursed, as she tried to get the image back. But the ball was not cooperating. She tried to relax, used centering techniques to slow her breathing, still her mind. She thought of Tara and the demon. "Show me how this came to be," she whispered.  
  
The glass again filled with mist. Suddenly she was in another place and a little girl that she barely recognized as Tara was giggling with delight. She sat on the lap of a woman that Willow recognized as Tara's mother from the photo her lover kept on her bedside table.  
  
"Your name means star," the woman said as she hugged Tara to her. "My little star."  
  
A younger version of Mr. Maclay stood at the door. "Don't fill her head with your nonsense, Laurel."  
  
"Astaroth," whispered the mother. "Astarte."  
  
A little whirlwind of bright lights began to spin in front of them. Tara reached out. "Stars."  
  
"Laurel," his voice warned her.  
  
Her face transformed into a snake. "Ishtar," she hissed to her daughter.  
  
Tara looked up, squealed in delight. "Ishtar. Star. Tara."  
  
The lights brightened.  
  
Her father strode toward them angrily. "That's enough of that." He grabbed his wife, spun her to face him. The lights went out.  
  
She smiled sweetly. Her face was human again.  
  
"Don't try your damn tricks with me. I know what you're hiding underneath that pretty face. And I've told you before there'll be no witchcraft in this house." He backhanded the woman viciously.  
  
Tara fell off her mother's lap and screamed.  
  
Willow jumped at the sound. The picture in the ball began to dim. Quickly, she refocused. "Show me more," she whispered.  
  
The ball lit up again. The Tara that faced her now was much older. She was coming home from school, trying to outrun the taunts of her brother and cousin.  
  
"Something not quite right with her." Donny threw a clod of dirt at his sister. "She's gonna grow up as touched in the head as her mother."  
  
Tara covered her ears.  
  
"If my mom hadn't died when I was born, Dad would never have married your mom. He only picked her cuz he thought I needed a woman to help me grow up right."  
  
Beth laughed. "Big mistake on his part. Should have picked a good woman, not some sick witch like your mom."  
  
Tara turned around. "Shut up, she's b-b-better than both of you put together." She ran away from them. Finally she stopped, breathing hard and trying not to cry.  
  
"Tara," Willow called to her. "Tara, it'll be all right."  
  
But it only got worse that night at dinner. Mr. Maclay had been drinking steadily and at the end of the meal he pulled out an envelope. "You want to tell me what this is, Tara?"  
  
Her mother looked happy. "Is that...?"  
  
"I'm asking the girl." He scowled at his daughter. "Well, spit it out."  
  
"It's t-t-test scores."  
  
Donny mimicked her. "You th-th-think?"  
  
"Stop it," Laurel Maclay said.  
  
"I'll thank you to not talk to my boy with that tone," Tara's father looked over at his wife angrily. Then he looked at his son. "You're excused. Go do your chores before it gets too dark to see."  
  
"Yes, sir," Donny mumbled and went outside.  
  
"He only makes it worse." Tara's mother walked over to the table. "Let me see how she did."  
  
"I told her not to take the test. Wasn't any point seeing as how she won't be going to college any time soon."  
  
"She could go. She's smart as a whip and she's got excellent grades."  
  
He looked over at Tara. Then he smiled cruelly and threw the envelope into the fire behind him. "I said she's not going. What part of that don't you two understand?"  
  
"No!" Tara screamed and ran to the fire. She reached into the flames and tried to grab the envelope.  
  
"Leave it alone, Tara." Her father stood unsteadily and grabbed her by the hair, yanking her away from the flames.  
  
She fell hard then struggled to get up. She held her burnt hands away from her body and tried to stand. In a rage now, Mr. Maclay hit her hard. When she slumped to the ground, she didn't get up again.  
  
"Tara," Willow whispered.  
  
"And you call me a monster," Tara's mother had transformed into the serpent. "You'll never touch her again."  
  
And she came at him. Mr. Maclay tripped over Tara and went down hard. He reached out blindly and his hand touched the poker. He yanked it free from the hanger and jabbed at his wife savagely.  
  
She dodged it. "No, by Ishtar and Astarte, you won't hurt her again." She rose up and advanced on him. It wasn't clear what she intended, and Willow doubted that the woman even knew how to fight because Mr. Maclay got away from her easily. She began a spell and he reacted, jerking back in fear.  
  
"Stop that!"  
  
She kept talking. In the corner of the room there was a hissing sound.  
  
"I said stop it!" He struck out at her with the poker, hitting her hard in the head. She fell heavily and lay still on the floor. Blood seeped from the wound on her head. As her breathing slowed, her face transformed back to human. The hissing noises stopped.  
  
He looked around. Tara was still unconscious. He replaced the poker then pulled his wife's body up to the fireplace and let her drop onto the poker. Her body fell awkwardly to the ground.  
  
He felt for a pulse. Then he backed up and began to scream, "Laurel!"  
  
Donny came running. "What happened?" He saw his stepmother and stopped.  
  
Willow watched as Mr. Maclay seemed to collapse, pretending to a grief that could not be real. She was sickened as she heard him say, "Tara fell into the fire. Laurel went to help her, lost her balance. Then she hit her head."  
  
"It was an accident then," Donny did not make it a question.  
  
"An accident," his father agreed.  
  
Tara woke up then. She saw her mother and screamed. "Mom!' She crawled to her, clearly in pain as she used her ruined hands. "Mom, no."  
  
Donny moved to pull her off, but their father stopped him. "Leave her be for now. Best call the sheriff."  
  
As his son went to the phone, Mr. Maclay crouched down next to his daughter. "You want her remembered well and not as the demon witch she was? Then you tell the sheriff when he comes that your burning your hands like that was an accident. You were clumsy and fell into the fire. You passed out from the pain. You don't remember anything after that. You got that, girl?"  
  
She sobbed. "Y-y-yes, Sir."  
  
"Good."  
  
Willow sat appalled. "Oh god, Tara," she whispered. "If I'd known what you'd been through."  
  
The ball sped through the burial. A preacher said the normal things. Tara stood in shock. Her cousin Beth held her as if they were friends. Tara didn't try to get away.  
  
Later Willow saw Tara, hands bandaged, clumsily going through her mother's things. Up in the attic, she found a small chest full of crystals, incenses, and oils. She stashed them away in her room.  
  
During the days that followed, Tara tried to keep out of everyone's way. She did whatever they told her to. All the life was gone from her. At night, she'd creep out to the woods and weep.  
  
"Tara," Willow tried to console her. Her heart was breaking for her lover.  
  
Tara's father became increasingly vicious to her. He seemed to need no reason to belittle her. Her self confidence plummeted even more as he mocked her. She was allowed to go to school and church but nowhere else. The small house she had been born in became her world. And on those days that her dad had been drinking it became a violent world. She often had black eyes when she went to school. The teachers never said anything.  
  
One night her father came into her room and found her holding a crystal. "Where the hell did you get that?" He tried to snatch it out of her hand.  
  
"L-L-Leave it alone," the girl managed to stutter.  
  
"It's hers," he snarled as he closed his fist and prepared to strike.  
  
"Fog cover all," Tara whispered desperately. A sudden dense mist hid her from her father. She grabbed the crystal and climbed out the window running desperately for the woods. She hid there for two days. Finally, afraid of the outside world more than what waited for her, she returned to the house.  
  
"No," whispered Willow. "Don't go back to him."  
  
Tara slunk into the house, the crystal hidden in her pocket. Her father turned to look at her.  
  
Willow recognized fear in his eyes as he said, "I ever catch you doing that devil stuff in my house again, I'll tan your hide. You understand me, girl?"  
  
"Yes, sir," she stammered.  
  
"Get to work."  
  
Willow realized that things were different after that. Mr. Maclay never hit his daughter again. He almost acted as if she didn't exist. But Tara never seemed to understand that she had the power from that moment on. The frightened child only saw the man she had always feared.  
  
The ball ran quickly through the next few months. Willow watched as Tara graduated with honors. Her family sat in the audience, none of them looking particularly proud of her. The ball forwarded a few days then it stopped to show Tara cleaning the bathroom. The mirror above the sink suddenly fogged. Tara stared at it in wonder. Writing appeared, "Come to the woods." The writing disappeared.  
  
Tara reached up and wrote, "Why?"  
  
"If you want to be free, come to the woods tonight. While the rest sleep." The mirror cleared.  
  
"Who are you?" Tara whispered. But there was no answer. She stared at the mirror for a long time before she finished the cleaning.  
  
That night, Tara looked around her room. She pulled out the treasures she had rescued from the attic and hid them in her book bag. She found some jewelry that had been her mother's and stuck that in there too. She added her diploma and grades, then grabbed her coat and snuck out of the house.  
  
She walked to the edge of the woods, wondering which way to go. Suddenly a road of stars opened up in front of her. Tara started to breathe heavily and her eyes filled with tears. "Little Star," she said as she stepped onto the path.  
  
The path wound around the trees, leading her deeper into the woods. She had never been this far into the forest. Suddenly she heard a sound. She stopped in shock. A tear fell slipped down her cheek. "Mom?"  
  
"Astaroth," a voice hissed back. "Come to me, my little star."  
  
Tara ran the rest of the way. She threw herself into her mother's arms, sobbing wildly. They sank down to the ground, her mother holding her while she wept out her pain. "Shhh, my love," she comforted her. "Shhh. I'm right here."  
  
Willow watched as they held each other. She was amazed at the sight of Tara' mother. The woman fairly pulsed with power.  
  
"But how?" Tara looked up, joy suffusing her face. "You were dead."  
  
"No. I was close to dead. But I got better."  
  
"But you were in the ground. I saw them put you there."  
  
Her mother nodded, held up her hands. Most of her fingernails had been torn off and were halfway grown back. "Death shall not keep me."  
  
Tara repeated the ritual. "The underworld shall not hold me." She laughed.  
  
"We're getting out of here." Her mother hugged her tightly to her, then stood up and pulled Tara to her feet. She cast some sort of spell back at the house, and then they both winked out and appeared in Sunnydale.  
  
"Why here?" Tara asked.  
  
"I'm not sure. I asked to go where you could find happiness and the spell took us here. At least it's close to where I've been living." She smiled. "Oh Tara, I can't tell you how wonderful it is to live with others of my kind. They found me when I was weak and just free of the coffin. They heard my cries and came for me. They put the ground back to rights so your father would never suspect and took me back to LA with them."  
  
"You're happy." Tara touched her mother's face in wonder. "I've never seen you really happy."  
  
"We'll both be happy now, dearest."  
  
Willow watched as they got a room at the same motel Faith had made her home when she first arrived in Sunnydale. They slept the night away, Tara's mother curled protectively around her daughter.  
  
The next day they wandered the town, finally coming to the university campus.  
  
"I think this is where you are supposed to be." Tara's mother reached into her bag and handed Tara some papers. "I took the liberty of getting replacements for you."  
  
Tara looked at the documents. They were her test scores. "Did I really do this well?"  
  
"I only used magic to get them, not to change the results. You did that all yourself. I told you, Tara, you're an incredibly smart young woman." She took her daughter's hand. "Let's see if we can get you enrolled?"  
  
Tara nodded happily. She followed her mother into the admissions building, went alone to the counter to get her forms. Then they found a secluded spot and her mother spelled them back to the LA warehouse that was her home. In between shopping for clothes and other things she needed, Tara filled the applications out and sent them in. Then she spent time alone with her mother and with the others at the warehouse, all of them demons like Tara's mom. In the presence of humans, they looked perfectly ordinary. But in the basement of the warehouse they could be what they really were.  
  
Tara settled down quickly at the warehouse. She studied magic with her mother and was spoiled by the others as if they were her new aunts and uncles. They threw her a party the day she got her acceptance letter to college. Some of the younger demons moved Tara into the dorms, then drove away with waves and grins. Tara's mom helped her set up her room, and as a surprise pulled out the Christmas lights that they strung over the door.  
  
The ball forwarded through the rest so fast that Willow could barely make it out, but she recognized some of the moments she had lived with Tara. Then the ball slowed and Willow saw Amy going into the shelter and Tara driving off to the warehouse to see her mother. Willow smiled at the warmth she saw between the two women when they greeted each other. Willow had never once experienced a moment like that with her own mother.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me," Willow asked the image of Tara. Its only response was to fade out. "Why didn't you trust me?"  
  
She heard a sound on the stairs, looked at the clock, realized she'd been reliving Tara's life for hours.  
  
The door opened and Tara came in, cradling a rat.  
  
"No cage, huh?"  
  
Tara shrugged. "We already had one. Besides, she's really friendly. I think she must have been someone's pet already. She slept in my lap the whole way back."  
  
"What did you do in between?" Willow asked as she watched Tara put the rat into Amy's old cage.  
  
Tara ignored the question. "We need to change the bedding more often. I guess Amy found it unpleasant."  
  
"Ok." Willow tried another tact. "Did you see Angel?"  
  
Tara looked at her, "No."  
  
"Then what did you do in LA all this time?"  
  
Tara smiled. "Oh, I found this great diner. You know the kind that is open all night and serves bad coffee and really greasy eggs."  
  
Willow said softly, "Don't. Don't lie."  
  
Tara was confused. "Well maybe the eggs weren't all that greasy but the coffee was definitely not Starbucks."  
  
Willow picked up the crystal ball. Saw Tara blanche. "I know. I saw you and your mom."  
  
Tara stood mute. There was fear in her eyes.  
  
Willow walked to her, took her in her arms. "Don't you know you can tell me anything? I love you. I love you with a wacked out father. And I love you with a demon mother. I'd even still love you if you had become a demon."  
  
Tara sobbed.  
  
Willow held her tighter. "Don't ever lie to me like that."  
  
"I told her you'd say that. That you'd understand. But she's not used to people like you. She made me promise when she brought me here that I'd never tell anyone that she was alive, or about her secret. But I wanted to tell you, Willow. I wanted to so much. I can't stand that this has been between us. I hated sneaking around just to call her."  
  
"Well now you don't have to." Willow looked at her sternly. "But it hurts that you didn't trust me with this, Tara."  
  
"I know."  
  
"And next time you call her, I want to say hello."  
  
Tara gulped. "Ok."  
  
Willow shook her finger at her. "I mean it."  
  
Her lover nodded quickly. "I know." Then she smiled. "You two are a lot alike. I think you'll like each other."  
  
"Of course we will," Willow agreed as the pulled Tara down to the bed. "But right now I'm still feeling a little hurt."  
  
Tara smiled. "Is it something I can kiss and make better?"  
  
Willow grinned as she replied softly. "Oh, I definitely think so."  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
Dawn was making toast when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Without turning she said, "Don't even think about touching that orange juice."  
  
She spun and saw her sister stop mid-reach, a silly grin on her face.  
  
"Used to be me saying that," Buffy laughed.  
  
"Things change." Dawn kept an eagle eye on the glass.  
  
"Everything except orange juice," Buffy countered, as she poured herself a glass.  
  
"So you admit some people might have changed?"  
  
Buffy sighed. "It's too early for a philosophical discussion, Dawn."  
  
"I guess." The younger girl held up the bread. "You want toast?"  
  
"Yeah. Thanks."  
  
"No bigs. I'm up." Dawn handed Buffy the jam, after liberally smearing her own toast. She studied Buffy, her sister looked calmer, more like herself. But she also looked bored. "So whatcha gonna do today?"  
  
The older slayer pretended to ponder the question. "First I'm going to discover a cure for the common cold. Then I'm going to negotiate peace in the Middle East."  
  
Dawn giggled.  
  
"Seriously. I'm going to sit on my butt while we all think of an explanation for me being back."  
  
"Sounds pretty dull."  
  
"Tell me about it." Buffy sighed.  
  
Dawn handed her sister the toast, then put her dishes in the sink. "If I didn't have to go to school, I could stay home and we could train."  
  
"You're going to school, Dawn."  
  
Dawn pouted, but she'd known what her sister would say. She headed out of the kitchen. "Well I better get ready then."  
  
"Where's all of Mom's stuff?"  
  
Dawn stopped. "Her stuff?"  
  
"Yeah. You know, all the stuff from her room?"  
  
Dawn turned. "When Willow and Tara moved in, we pretty much just cleared it all out. But I didn't have the heart to go through it, so it's all down in boxes in the basement."  
  
"So you didn't throw anything away?"  
  
"I gave some of her books to the library but other than that it's all downstairs."  
  
"Maybe I'll go through it," Buffy proposed.  
  
"Do you think that's a good idea? I mean so soon after you're back?"  
  
Buffy gave a bitter laugh. "Afraid I'll go all psycho again, Dawnie?"  
  
"I didn't say that. I just mean...it's sad is all. Like we're really saying goodbye. That's why I couldn't do it."  
  
Buffy walked over, brushed her sister's hair back. "You don't even have tears in your eyes."  
  
Dawn pulled away angrily. "You think I haven't cried? That's all I did was cry. For mom, for you. I cried more than I ever knew a person could."  
  
Buffy reached out for her, "Dawn, I didn't mean..."  
  
She pulled away from her older sister's touch. "I don't care what you meant. Don't you dare judge me."  
  
"I'm not judging you." Buffy turned away. "I'm sorry. I keep expecting you to still be a little girl. But you're not. You're all grown up now." Her voice was very small.  
  
Dawn frowned. "That doesn't mean I don't still need you. You're the only sister I have."  
  
Buffy gave a derisive sniff. "What's Faith then?"  
  
"Faith isn't my sister. You know that." Dawn saw Buffy sneer. Felt irritation grow inside her. Decided to strike back. "She's my friend."  
  
The words hit home. Buffy threw away the rest of her toast. "Right."  
  
"Buffy." Dawn felt guilty. "If you want help with Mom's stuff, save it for tonight. We can both go through it."  
  
Buffy's look softened. "No. I should do it. I think it might help me say goodbye."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
Her sister nodded firmly. "I'm positive. Now go get ready for school."  
  
Dawn mock saluted. "Yes, Frau Commandant!"  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes.  
  
Dawn laughed and hurried out to change.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Buffy sat in the living room, waiting for Dawn to leave for school. The house was quiet with Willow asleep and Tara not back from LA. And Spike in the basement. She grimaced at the thought of dealing with him while she went through her mother's things. Maybe she should have staked him after all.  
  
Dawn came clomping down the stairs, all in black except for a dark pink top that looked very familiar.  
  
"Is that my sweater?"  
  
Dawn stuck her lip out a bit. "Maybe." At her sister's look she fidgeted. "Yes."  
  
"Did I say you could wear it?"  
  
"No, but if you make me change now I'll be late."  
  
Buffy sighed in resignation. "Next time ask first."  
  
"Ok. Thanks." Dawn gave her a quick kiss and was gone.  
  
Buffy sat for a few more minutes, then stood up and headed downstairs. The basement was lit by one dim lamp on Spike's bedside table. The vampire looked as if he had fallen asleep while reading. His head lay on top of an old volume and his hands still curled on the open pages. Buffy didn't want to admit that it made him look more human, or that she found the sight slightly charming.  
  
She turned away; saw the boxes piled up at the other end of the basement. Turning on a brighter light, she lifted the top one down, pulled it open.  
  
It was full of her mother's shoes. She drew a pair of heels out, recognized them as the pumps her mom had worn whenever she had an important business meeting. She touched the navy leather gently, then stuck the shoe back in the box, which she closed and pushed off to the side. Her mother's shoes were too big for her or for Dawn. They would go to charity.  
  
The next box was more shoes. It joined the other. She pulled down another carton, opened it to find a mess of fabric. She felt herself getting angry as she tried to flatten out the creased in the clothing. She muttered, "God, Dawn, you could have folded it at least."  
  
Spike's soft voice came from behind her, causing her to jump slightly. "She could barely see through the tears. Just wanted to get the room clean for the witches. Bloody lucky she got things in the boxes at all."  
  
He knelt down next to Buffy, pulled out a sweater. "Joyce was wearing this one night when I came over for hot chocolate. You and your boy were out."  
  
"Go away, Spike."  
  
"Why? Looks to me like you could use some help."  
  
"Not from you," she fairly hissed. "Go upstairs or something."  
  
"Don't want to."  
  
"I'm working down here."  
  
He sneered. "And I'm living down here."  
  
She watched him as he got up and lit a cigarette. "No smoking in the house."  
  
He laughed. "No smoking in the house except for down here."  
  
"I don't want you watching me do this."  
  
"Then do it somewhere else. I'm staying."  
  
She sighed in frustration and turned back to the boxes.  
  
"Maybe if you'd been nicer to me," she heard him taunt.  
  
"Oh shut up," she said as quietly as she could.  
  
He still heard her. "Free country, Summers."  
  
She couldn't stand it anymore. Rising quickly she hurried to the door. "Forget it. I'll do it while you and Dawn and the psycho slayer are on patrol."  
  
His voice was gentle. "Buffy, did it ever occur to you that I might want to help because I cared for Joyce? And I care for you."  
  
She didn't move, wanted to yell at him, curse him, kill him even.  
  
She could hear him walk over to the box. "Bet that some of this stuff has a story?"  
  
She turned to watch him.  
  
"Bet you'd be the better for it if you told me some of those stories."  
  
She stood undecided.  
  
He shook out a sheer black blouse. "This is fancy."  
  
Buffy saw her mother in the shirt, smiling happily, rushing to the door. "She wore it on one of her dates with Ted."  
  
"Don't remember him."  
  
Buffy sighed. "He was a robot."  
  
Spike looked at the shirt with new appreciation. "Way to go, Joyce."  
  
Buffy walked to him, grabbed the blouse away. "It wasn't like that," she said firmly as she folded the shirt up and put it back into the box.  
  
"Well tell me what it was like." He looked at her speculatively.  
  
"He was a psychopathic serial killer."  
  
"Oh. You mean like me, do you?"  
  
She thought about that. "No he was worse. He was nice. At first anyway."  
  
"But you stopped him before he could hurt your mum?"  
  
"Barely," she whispered.  
  
"But you did." He lifted up an oversize light blue sweatshirt. "What do you remember about this?"  
  
She grabbed it. "That it's mine. From like senior year in high school. I looked everywhere for this. I can't believe she had it all this time." She placed it on the floor behind her.  
  
"Maybe it reminded her of you when you went away to school?"  
  
"Maybe," she agreed. "Oh," she said in wonder as she pulled out a worn gray flannel top. "When my Mom and Dad were first married, before I came along, they used to buy one pair of pajamas. He'd wear the bottoms and she'd take the top. This was part of the first pair they ever bought together."  
  
Spike didn't look overly impressed.  
  
"You don't think that's romantic?"  
  
"Sharing pajamas? No, not really. But then I don't wear any so the point's pretty much lost on me."  
  
"I really did not need to know that."  
  
He grinned.  
  
"You're disgusting." She put the pajama shirt with the sweatshirt.  
  
"You're keeping that?" he asked incredulously.  
  
"Yes." She glared at him.  
  
"Suit yourself." He held up several other items of clothing.  
  
She shook her head. "Those are just work clothes, all of these are." She helped him fold them back into the box.  
  
They worked though most of the boxes, and Buffy found it increasingly easy to tell him the memories behind some of the clothes. Her pile grew taller as she added the treasures she wanted to keep.  
  
Spike handed her the next box. She opened it to find it full of jewelry boxes.  
  
He smiled. "I made Little Bit take more care packing this one up. Figured there might be some stuff that was valuable."  
  
She pulled out a string of black pearls. "I remember when my dad gave Mom these. She looked so happy. And so beautiful." She rubbed at the beads. "They're all dull."  
  
"Wear them against your skin for a while," he suggested.  
  
"If this is a come on..."  
  
He laughed. "I'm serious. Pearls need to be next to skin for the oil and the warmth. Try it, they might come back."  
  
She thought he sounded pretty sure so she tried to undo the clasp. It seemed stuck.  
  
"Let me," he said, taking it out of her hand. He pinched a certain way and the clasp came instantly apart. "See. It's a safety feature." His eyes met hers. "Lift your hair up."  
  
She didn't argue, just turned around and did what he said, letting him put the necklace around her neck. To her surprise his hands didn't linger once he got it fastened.  
  
"Let's have a look."  
  
She faced him.  
  
"They suit you." He turned away.  
  
"Thanks." She bent back to the jewelry, started putting aside everything she wanted or thought Dawn might like in her pile.  
  
He opened a last box and as he did it broke apart. A small cross landed on his skin.  
  
"Bloody hell!" He swore as he shook it off his burning flesh.  
  
Buffy picked it up, remembered giving it to her mom. "This was supposed to keep her safe."  
  
Spike was still fussing with his hand.  
  
She watched him. "How long will it burn?"  
  
He looked up. Saw she really meant it, was curious. "A while. Longer than you'd think."  
  
"What makes it better?"  
  
"Drinking blood."  
  
She shook her head. "That's your answer for everything."  
  
"Yeah. That or sex pretty much make the undead life worth living."  
  
She laughed. "You have a one-track mind."  
  
"At least I'm consistent."  
  
"Yeah. Consistently annoying, irritating, infuriating..."  
  
"Fine. I get the picture." He slid the last box over to her. It was full of papers and a strange collection of personal items.  
  
"Dawn took these from the bedside drawers."  
  
Buffy pulled out a folder. It was full of pictures. The first one she pulled out was of her mom and dad the day they had brought her home from the hospital. Her parents looks so young, so in love. So alive.  
  
"There now." Spike eased the folder and the photo out of her hands.  
  
She looked at him but could barely see. It took her several moments to realize she was crying. A harsh, wounded sob ripped from her. "She's gone. She's really gone."  
  
She felt his arms go around her tentatively. "Yes, love. She's really gone."  
  
She fought him for a moment. Then she gave up and let him hold her as she tried to stop the tears.  
  
"You don't always have to be strong, Buffy." His arms tightened around her. She felt his lips touch her neck just above the pearls.  
  
"You're getting off on this," she accused him in a broken voice as she tried to push him away.  
  
"Oh, of course I am," he agreed as he let go of her and sat back. He reached over and rubbed the pearls into the tracks that her tears had made down her neck. "Back to the source," he whispered. "Mother ocean, Buffy's tears."  
  
She stared at him. His eyes as they met hers were nothing but kind. She frowned at him.  
  
He only smiled. A strange, sad smile. Then he moved his mouth toward hers.  
  
She saw it coming. Didn't move. Didn't try to stop him.  
  
Their lips met.  
  
She expected force and clumsiness. Knew she would feel his awkward passion and be appalled.  
  
She was wrong. His lips were sweet.  
  
Moments later, he pulled away. Looked at her in amazement.  
  
"I'll never love you," she said tonelessly.  
  
"Of course not," he agreed as he began to gather the items she had selected from Joyce's things. He turned to her as if nothing had happened. "You want these in your room?"  
  
She could only nod.  
  
He stood up, kept talking. "Tara got home a bit ago."  
  
Buffy realized she hadn't heard her come in.  
  
He seemed to be reading her thoughts. "You were crying. Not surprised you missed it."  
  
Buffy followed him upstairs to her room.  
  
He dumped the items on her bed, then strode out.  
  
"Spike."  
  
He stopped.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
He turned to her, gave her a gentle smile. "My pleasure." The smile turned wicked. Then he was gone.  
  
Buffy closed her door, leaned against it as she repeated, "I'll never love you."  
  
She ran her finger over her lips once, then shook her head, trying to clear her mind. She had just let Spike kiss her.  
  
Even worse. She had kissed him back.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
Giles was lost in thought as he drove over to the Summers's residence  
  
"So you going to teach me to drive this thing?"  
  
"What?" Her question finally registered. "Oh yes, if you like."  
  
She laughed. "Earth to Giles."  
  
"Sorry. I'm a bit distracted." He reached over, felt her take his hand. She rubbed a finger lightly over his palm and he shivered. "Devil," he murmured.  
  
She gave a throaty laugh. "Somehow that never sounds like a bad thing when you say it that way."  
  
He pulled her hand up to his lips, kissed it.  
  
"Ummm," she encouraged him. "I like that train of thought. Maybe we should turn the car around and head back home?"  
  
He was tempted by her proposal but just smiled at her and shook his head.  
  
She didn't seem surprised. "Duty before pleasure, Giles?"  
  
"In this case, I'm afraid so." He pulled up in front of the house.  
  
"Think B's in a better mood today?"  
  
"She won't be for long if you insist on calling her that. You know she hates it."  
  
"I know," she admitted, her tone only mildly contrite. "I don't like her."  
  
"I know. And I doubt she likes you. But you did agree to a truce?"  
  
"I'm not planning on fighting her. Jeez, lighten up, Giles." She reached for the door handle.  
  
"Faith, I have every confidence in you. You must know that."  
  
She turned, studied his face.  
  
He leaned in and kissed her. "Every confidence."  
  
She reached for him, pulled him closer. "You always know exactly what to do to make it all ok. How do you do that?"  
  
He smiled, "I'm your watcher."  
  
She shook her head. "Guess again."  
  
"Hmmm. I'm your lover?"  
  
"Right on two. You get the prize."  
  
He grinned as he tightened his hold, "I've already got it, I think."  
  
"Ok, not to break up this Red Shoe Diary's moment, but didn't you call us all together to, oh I don't know, brainstorm? Cuz if I'd known it was going to be for a big make-out session, we'd have dressed more appropriately."  
  
Giles and Faith looked up to see Xander and Anya watching them. Xander had a huge smirk on his face.  
  
"Oh, like you never do this," Faith taunted as she got out of the car.  
  
"Well not in a convertible parked in front of Buffy's front window," Anya replied. "Really, Giles, aren't you a little old?"  
  
Faith just laughed and took her watcher's arm as he walked around the car. "This man is anything but old."  
  
He thought back to their rather energetic encounter after patrol. One or two of his muscles were feeling a bit aged. Of course there were other parts that seemed to feel quite youthful whenever Faith was around. He grinned.  
  
"Oh this is too gross," Xander teased as he followed them.  
  
"Shut up, Xander," Anya whispered a little too loudly. "If you piss her off now she'll never say yes to being a bridesmaid."  
  
Giles snickered.  
  
"I'll never say yes anyway," Faith said under her breath.  
  
"Anya can be a bit dim when she's fixated on something," he shot back.  
  
"I heard that," Anya exclaimed as they climbed the steps and walked into the house.  
  
"Hey guys," Willow looked up from the couch. Tara waved hello. Xander and Anya went to talk to them.  
  
Giles followed Faith into the kitchen.  
  
Spike was at the counter, dipping crackers into his blood. "Well if it isn't the two lovebirds." His smile took any sting out of his words.  
  
"You're in a better mood than you were earlier. Something happen?" Faith leaned forward in interest.  
  
"No," he shrugged, "Just had a good day."  
  
"What did you do?" Giles asked suspiciously.  
  
"Not much. Stayed in the basement mostly."  
  
Faith looked at him skeptically. "Yeah, wicked fun there, I bet."  
  
Buffy walked into the kitchen. "Hi."  
  
"B...Buffy," Faith corrected as Giles glared at her.  
  
"How are you feeling?" he asked Buffy.  
  
She shrugged. "Ok. Had a pretty good day."  
  
"Oh? What did you do?" He glanced at Spike who seemed to be watching the blonde slayer with particular interest. "And did it happen to be in the basement?"  
  
She was suddenly evasive. "I don't know. I just did stuff, you know, to forget that I was stuck in the house."  
  
Dawn walked in on the tail end of the conversation. 'You went through Mom's stuff."  
  
"Yeah. That wasn't so fun." Buffy looked down.  
  
Giles studied her. She seemed on edge. But he supposed being housebound and newly resurrected could account for that. "You're sure you're all right?"  
  
"Yeah." She looked up at him with hopeful eyes. "But I'll be even better if you tell me that you thought up a genius plan for explaining my return from the dead. I cannot overstate how much I am looking forward to leaving this house."  
  
"Let's go into the living room, shall we?" Giles led the group into the other room.  
  
Willow looked up gratefully, then turned to Anya, "Ok, well we'll have to talk about wedding hairstyles later."  
  
"Yes, but I don't think you're taking this style seriously," Anya complained. "It's exactly the way Lucrezia Borgia wore hers at her wedding."  
  
"And you want to look like a famous poisoner, why?" Tara countered.  
  
"She was really quite misunderstood. And the hairstyle goes perfectly with my dress." Anya put her papers away. "I fail to understand why you're not more interested. I thought that's what friends were supposed to do. Listen, help."  
  
"Friend is such a strong word," Willow replied softly. "Ow," she exclaimed as Tara elbowed her.  
  
"A strong, good word. We'll look at your other hairstyles later, Anya," Tara assured her.  
  
"We will?" Willow dodged another elbow. "We will."  
  
Anya seemed mollified.  
  
"If we are quite finished with discussions of the nuptials," Giles asked sarcastically. "We do have Buffy's future to discuss."  
  
"Don't be so glib, G-Man," Xander said with a laugh. "She wants you to wear a kilt to give her away."  
  
"A kilt?" Giles looked horrified. "I'm not even Scottish. Or your father, Anya."  
  
"I know. But that construct I made up that thinks he's my father is not going to be in this wedding. He can just go back to his utility and forget it. And you'll like the kilt. It's old. And you're old. And my dress will look old. It'll all match."  
  
"I thought we cleared up that whole old thing," Faith purred from her chair.  
  
"Can we get back to the topic of me?" Buffy groused.  
  
"By all means," Giles agreed.  
  
"So what are we going to do? How do we explain that a dead woman is now alive and well?" Xander looked at the watcher.  
  
Giles walked over to Buffy. "You're absolutely certain that you want to resume your old life? Starting over as a new person is still an option."  
  
"I'm sure," she replied without hesitation.  
  
He nodded thoughtfully. "Then we have to find a way to make sure that the body in that grave isn't yours. That a series of mistakes happened to lead us all, and the police, the coroner, everyone, to think it was you."  
  
"A major ret con," Willow muttered. "But no spell?"  
  
"No spell," Giles agreed.  
  
"Then how?" Faith was puzzled. "You want us to muddy up the picture?"  
  
"No," Buffy interjected. "He wants the Council to do it. Don't you, Giles?"  
  
He looked at her. Saw she understood. "They have resources at their disposal that you can't even imagine. And they are quite good at this sort of thing."  
  
"Sure they are," Dawn agreed bitterly. "After all, they must have explained away thousands of deaths by now, every time a slayer died."  
  
"Not every time," Faith corrected her. "Sometimes nobody cares."  
  
Dawn smiled at her fondly. "Somebody always cares."  
  
"So the council covered up the deaths. And inserted the successors into a new life." Buffy looked at Giles. "But will they help us?"  
  
"I don't know." He met her gaze frankly. "You've been no end of trouble to them, you know."  
  
Faith laughed. "Seems to me they have no choice. They help; they've got three slayers. They don't and they've got none."  
  
Buffy turned to her in surprise.  
  
"It's not a hug moment, blondie. Just a fact. Dawn won't fight if they screw you over." The dark haired slayer grinned. "And hell neither will I. Don't believe in crossing a picket line."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Faith nodded.  
  
"So, I shall start making some calls." Giles rose.  
  
"And those of use who aren't temporarily house slayers," Spike smirked at Buffy, "Will go patrol."  
  
"Knock yourself out. Literally."  
  
"Real funny," Spike said, ignoring the fact that Dawn was giggling.  
  
"Shaky on the comeback, bleach boy," Xander snarked. "Gonna have to deduct a few tenths there."  
  
"Deduct this." Spike raised two fingers.  
  
Dawn giggled again.  
  
"Go patrol, now, please." Buffy laughed. "The rest of us will just stay here where it's warm and safe."  
  
"Now, Buffy," Anya pounced before the others had left the room. "What do you think of this hairstyle?"  
  
Giles gratefully fled to the kitchen to put his plan into action.  
  
  
  
TBC 


	7. Restoration

Gravity  
  
Chapter 7 - Restoration  
  
It had been three days since Giles had called the Watcher's council on her behalf, and Buffy was tired of waiting to hear if they were going to help her regain her life. She paced the basement nervously.  
  
Spike didn't look up from the book he was reading. "Would you sit down? You're giving me a headache."  
  
"I just don't understand what the hold up is," she complained.  
  
"Well, it's not like they're going to tell me, now is it? Haven't even got my union card yet." He closed the book. "Not that this isn't a pleasant surprise, you being down here and all, but what do you want, Buffy?"  
  
She had thought he'd be happy to see her. Her mind went back to the last time she'd been down in the basement. She could feel her cheeks turning red. She had tried to put the memory of the kiss they had shared to rest but she couldn't. She looked over at Spike. His eyes showed only polite interest. He seemed to be doing fine not obsessing over what had happened between them.  
  
"It was too quiet upstairs. With the others gone." She knew the excuse sounded weak. Why had she come down to see him? She didn't even like him.  
  
He put the book aside and stood up. Moving past her, he started to lay down some mats. "This will help you relax."  
  
"You're going to be my watcher?" she asked with amusement.  
  
"Not bloody likely. Got my hands full with your sister. Just thought you could use a sparring partner. But if you don't want to..." he walked back to the chair and picked up the book.  
  
"No. I mean yes. I want to. Sparring's good."  
  
"Fine." He walked back over.  
  
"Won't the chip make this hard for you?"  
  
He shook his head. "It won't bother me as long as I'm not trying to hurt you."  
  
She thought back to the night she had returned to life. She had tried to stake him. He had struck at her and the chip had retaliated, the pain had distracted him, nearly cost him his life in fact.  
  
"Buffy," he said as he threw her. "Pay attention or I'm going back to my book."  
  
"Right. Sorry." They circled each other. She looked for an opening, saw one and took it. He was on the mat in seconds.  
  
"That's better," he smiled as he got up. His movements became more purposeful.  
  
She lost herself in the motion, in the intricate dance that was the slayer's fight for dominance. Spike fought well, countering her moves with a skill she had forgotten he had. He feinted left but she caught him as he moved back, threw him hard. He turned the fall into a roll, was up quickly. She realized she was smiling.  
  
"This is good, isn't it," his answering grin was almost feral. "What you're made for."  
  
"Shut up and fight," she taunted as she kicked him hard and followed up with a move designed to trip him. He kept his feet though, and caught her with a hard kick of his own. She dropped and tried to roll but he followed her down and landed on top of her. His hands pinned hers.  
  
"Give up?" he asked.  
  
"Not on your life," she said as she called on strength that her small body shouldn't have held and kicked him over her. She was on him before he could rise. "You give up?"  
  
"Not bloody likely," he tried the same move on her but she gripped him with her thighs, riding him easily.  
  
"You're not getting me off you."  
  
"God, I've had fantasies like this," he smirked.  
  
"Did they include this?" she asked as she stretched his arms over his head.  
  
"Do you even have to ask?" He wrenched his hands away with a violent jerk. She nearly crashed into his face but her hands landed hard on either side of his head. He took advantage of the moment, heaved his body up and sent her crashing to her back.  
  
She expected him to follow her but he just lay there. She looked over at him. "What's the matter? Did I hurt you?"  
  
He turned his head. "No. You didn't hurt me." He gave her a strange smile. "Just trying to tame the wolf inside."  
  
"I thought the chip did that?" she teased.  
  
He rolled over. His body was pressed against her side. "There's more than one wolf inside me."  
  
"Is that supposed to scare me?" She watched his face come closer to her own.  
  
"Hope not. Was going more for exciting you." His hand tangled in her hair.  
  
She studied his face. His mouth was curved slightly in a small smile, his eyes were intent on her own. She knew he was judging what she would do. One move from her and he'd stop. One move from her and he'd realize what a bad idea this was.  
  
She didn't move. His mouth crept nearer.  
  
Just as his lips touched hers, she heard footsteps on the stairs, then Giles' voice calling out, "Buffy? Are you down there?"  
  
"Crap!" She pushed Spike away, was on her feet in an instant. The vampire was only seconds behind her.  
  
Giles walked in, followed by a stranger. "Oh, here you are, Buffy. Training I see?"  
  
"Yes. Training. Working out. Very strenuous. Nervous energy and all that." She knew she was babbling so she turned a look of suspicion at the newcomer. "Judging from the high tweed factor, I'd say you're from the Council?"  
  
He nodded. "That's right. Tristan Haversham. You can call me Mr. Haversham." The watcher turned to Spike. "And you must be the vampire who thinks he's one of us."  
  
"I'm Dawn's watcher," Spike agreed carefully.  
  
The new watcher turned to survey the basement. "And you live down here?"  
  
"I've told you all this, Tristan." Giles sounded annoyed.  
  
Haversham walked back to the stairs. "Miss Summers, if you don't mind, I have some questions for you."  
  
She rolled her eyes but followed him upstairs. He sat down at the dining room table, gestured for her to sit opposite him. Taking out a notebook, he began to fire questions at her. "Who knows you're alive aside from the people in this house and Giles and Faith?"  
  
"Xander and Anya. And Amy, but she's in LA right now."  
  
"That's all?"  
  
"Well, no. Angel knows. And I suppose he's told Cordelia and Wesley, and that Fred woman. And I think another guy works with them now. He might know."  
  
He looked at her with irritation. "Perhaps it would have been easier to ask for a list of the people who don't know?"  
  
"It's not that many people."  
  
He ignored her. "How many times have you been outside since your return?"  
  
"Twice."  
  
He seemed displeased at her answer. "At night?"  
  
"One was. The other was about 7:30 in the morning."  
  
"That was foolish. To the best of your knowledge, did anyone see you?"  
  
"I don't think so. I mean, it's possible, I guess. But I didn't talk to anyone, or see anyone I knew. I mean other than the gang."  
  
"Ah yes. The 'gang.' Quentin Travers filled me in and gave me transcripts of the interviews he and his staff recently conducted with you and your associates. The new slayer wasn't interviewed."  
  
"Her name is Dawn," she corrected, "And no, she wasn't a part of this then."  
  
Haversham looked her over somberly. "Unlucky girl to be a part of it now. "  
  
Buffy bristled. "She's all right."  
  
"For now. It's hard to tell how a slayer will turn out. Take yourself, for instance. At that age you seemed to be full of potential."  
  
"Sorry to disappoint you."  
  
"Not me, Miss Summers. The Council."  
  
"Well they were a bit of a disappointment to me too."  
  
"I'm sure." He closed his book, then stood and walked over to the stairs, called down them. "I'm leaving, Rupert."  
  
A few seconds later Giles came into the room. "You have what you need from Buffy then?"  
  
"I do."  
  
"So you're going to help me?" Buffy asked skeptically.  
  
"I'm under orders to help you, Miss Summers. Whether I like it or not, that's what I'll do."  
  
"Oh. Well, good." She couldn't resist a dig. "Too bad you can't stand me. Or is it slayers in general you don't like?"  
  
"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"Denial is a river in Egypt," Giles commented archly.  
  
"I guess you know little about that. Since you deny yourself virtually nothing where your other slayer is concerned." Haversham's face was pinched. "Disgusting."  
  
Buffy defended her watcher. "Oh, like it doesn't happen all the time between watchers and slayers."  
  
Haversham's eyes were like ice as they turned to her.  
  
"Not between Giles and me." She clarified quickly. "But in the past. When the slayers didn't have anyone but their watchers to confide in. You think that they weren't finding some solace in each other?"  
  
"If they were, the watcher should have been relieved."  
  
"Giles and Faith aren't doing anything wrong." Buffy couldn't believe she was defending the other slayer.  
  
"He's sleeping with an impressionable young woman. That is wrong."  
  
"You haven't met Faith yet, have you?"  
  
"No. That dubious honor has eluded me." He glanced at Giles. "She was out when I met your watcher at his apartment."  
  
Buffy smiled meanly. "Well, you'll quickly discover that there is nothing impressionable about her. She's been making her own decisions for a while now."  
  
"Yes. Decisions that landed her in jail. So much for not impressionable." He walked to the door, looked back at them. "I'll be back tomorrow at 5 pm sharp, Rupert. And I want everyone here."  
  
"Of course." Giles glanced out the door to Haversham's rental car. "You can find your way back?"  
  
"It's not that big a town, now is it?" Haversham nodded at Buffy. "Good day."  
  
"Yeah. Bye." As soon as Giles shut the door, she let out a big sigh. "What a jerk."  
  
"He is arrogant. But there is probably no better man for this."  
  
"I hope so," Buffy whispered. "I've got to get out of this house before I do something really stupid."  
  
"Something like what I nearly caught you at in the basement just now?"  
  
"I don't know what you mean."  
  
"It was awfully quiet down there. For two people sparring, I mean." He gave her a significant look. "Don't bother answering, I know you'll just lie."  
  
She watched him walk away into the kitchen. As she heard him on the phone she felt guilty for what he had almost seen. Or part of her did anyway. The other part was just angry that the kiss had been interrupted. That part of her was dangerous. It needed to be locked up. No more trips to the basement during the day, she resolved. But somehow her inner voice didn't sound very sure about that resolution.  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Giles was relieved when he heard the British accent at the end of the other line. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with Cordelia. "Wesley, it's Giles."  
  
"You don't sound very happy."  
  
"I've got a Council representative here to help us get Buffy back into mainstream life. He's clearly not pleased at his assignment. What do you know about Tristan Haversham?"  
  
"What do I know? Correct me if I'm mistaken, but weren't you two good friends?"  
  
"That was a long time ago," Giles said with some bitterness. He and Tristan had been the golden boys of the Council. Even with his youthful follies, Giles had been one of the chosen, and Tristan had been right there with him. They had been close once but hadn't spoken since Giles had been fired. "You've got better connections, Wesley. I thought you might know what he's been up to lately."  
  
"He's been doing special projects for the Council. Things of a rather sensitive nature. Oh and you do know he was supposed to be the Watcher for the next slayer?"  
  
Giles smiled cynically. "That explains a great deal."  
  
"Yes. Must grill him quite a lot to have to help, especially with the special circumstances surrounding Dawn's current watcher."  
  
"Do you think Spike is accepted in that role?"  
  
"I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for him to get an invitation to the Watcher's Retreat. And I'm not sure if they would help him if he called on them. But they seem to have given up any ideas of trying to get rid of him."  
  
"But they were thinking about it?" Giles wasn't really all that surprised.  
  
"I think so. But when it became clear that he was doing quite well in the role, I think they decided to leave well enough alone." Wesley chuckled. "No one really wants to get involved with the current batch of slayers. There were a number of disappointed people when Dawn was called. A new slayer, free of the rather rebellious ties of the Sunnydale strain, would have been welcome."  
  
"Welcome perhaps, but not to be. I feel as if I'm overseeing a dynasty."  
  
"Three slayers is rather an embarrassment of riches." Wesley cleared his throat. "I was in the vicinity when Angel was talking to Buffy. I heard about you and Faith."  
  
Giles felt his hackles go up. "And?"  
  
"Well the phrase, 'Have you lost all reason?' comes to mind."  
  
"I don't expect you to understand."  
  
"Why? Perhaps because I was the one that she tortured?"  
  
"As Angelus tortured me. But I managed to put that behind me."  
  
"Angel wasn't himself when he did that."  
  
"Faith has changed. Although if she wants to torture you again, I just might let her."  
  
Wesley sighed. "We just can't seem to stay civil to each other for very long, can we?"  
  
"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."  
  
"No. It's none of my business. I'm sure you know what you're doing. Frankly your instincts about Faith have always been better than mine. I was as much to blame for her turning to evil as anyone."  
  
"Probably more," Giles agreed.  
  
"Well I don't know if I'd go that far."  
  
"I'm sure you wouldn't." Giles saw Buffy watching him. "I have to go, Wesley. Thank you for the information."  
  
"Of course." The other man sounded as relieved as Giles did that the conversation was over.  
  
"So?" Buffy asked with concern. "What did the gutless wonder have to say?"  
  
"You should be nicer to him. He really does want to help."  
  
She laughed meanly. "Well yeah, since the council fired him. So what's the story on Haversham?"  
  
"He was slated to be Dawn's watcher."  
  
"That explains his antagonism toward Spike. Not that it takes much to dislike him."  
  
Giles looked at her carefully. She appeared to mean what she said. Why then did he have the feeling that something was going on between her and the vampire? Part of him was appalled, even as another part pointed out that no one would have picked Faith and him for couple of the year, and they were doing quite well. He tried to be generous. Buffy should be with whomever made her happy. But Spike?  
  
Buffy had started to pace. She was ranting about Haversham's attitude.  
  
He interrupted her, "If you want your life back, Buffy, you'll need to work with him."  
  
"I know." She sighed. "I just don't want to." She pulled her arms close around her body. "I get nervous whenever the Council is in town. And this guy bothers me almost as much as Quentin does."  
  
"It'll be alright. Just give him the chance to help you."  
  
"I will. I'm just worried. I've got a bad feeling about this."  
  
Giles didn't want to tell her that he did too.  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
Dawn thought school would never end. It was last period and the teacher had been droning on forever about Reconstruction. Like she was ever going to need to know about the rebuilding of the South. She turned her thoughts to the next patrol. Things had been dull for the last two nights. Maybe tonight they would see more action.  
  
It took her a moment to realize that the bell had rung and her classmates were getting up. She looked over at Lisa Mathis. Her friend's eyes were suspicious. "What?" Dawn asked defensively.  
  
"I don't get you, anymore." Lisa grabbed her book bag and hurried out of the classroom.  
  
Dawn sighed, then realized that she wasn't alone in the room. She turned to see Kevin Berman staring at her.  
  
"Still got a lot of stuff going on, huh?"  
  
"I guess." She tried to be casual, to not act goofy like she always did every time he talked to her. But he was just so cute, she thought to herself.  
  
"You're really out of it. If you want to be a stoner that's cool, I guess." He turned away and walked to the door.  
  
"I'm not a stoner," she said hotly, following him into the hall.  
  
Lisa was standing there. She looked at Kevin. "I told you she'd say that."  
  
"What is this? You're ganging up on me?" Dawn was angry.  
  
"We care about you. Which is a good thing because you don't seem to care about anything anymore."  
  
"Yeah, well how about you lose your mom and your sister? See how you like it." Dawn spun away from both of them and walked away. She blinked back hot tears. Lisa had been her closest friend. They had told each other everything. And she'd thought that Kevin was becoming more than just a classroom chum. But it was obvious they looked down on her now. She already felt lonely. Being the slayer really sucked sometimes.  
  
Faith was waiting out front for her. "Hey kid. What's got you so upset?"  
  
"I don't have any friends." Dawn realized how that sounded. "I mean at school."  
  
"I know what you mean. Yeah, that bites. But maybe a little kicking vampire ass will improve your mood? Ready to clean out a nest?"  
  
Dawn nodded.  
  
Faith laughed. "You know, not too long ago, I wouldn't have waited till you were done with school. Did I ever tell you about the time I got Buffy to leave class in the middle of a test?"  
  
"No way."  
  
"Way." Faith launched into the story. By the time she finished they were coming up on an abandoned warehouse. There were boards nailed over the windows. Faith grinned evilly as she pulled the first one off. Dawn helped her clear off more. They moved down to the next window and did the same.  
  
"Lame-asses. Maybe next time they'll nail the boards up on the inside." Faith smirked. "What? Were they expecting a hurricane?"  
  
Dawn laughed. "Are any of these vampires very smart? I mean really?'  
  
"Does seem like there are two schools. The idiots we fight every night, and then those like Angel."  
  
"And Spike."  
  
Faith grinned. "I forget he's even a vampire half the time."  
  
"Don't let him hear you say that." Dawn led Faith to the next window. "He hates it when people act like he's all harmless."  
  
"I don't mean that. I just guess I trust him. Like when I turn my back on him, I don't have to worry he's gonna try to cop a drink. Can't say I feel that way about most vamps." Faith found a crowbar in the rubble below the window. "Wicked useful." Using it, she made short work of the boards. They moved around to the back. "Not like I worried around Angel, but he's got that whole soul thing working for him."  
  
"Spike has the chip."  
  
"Yeah. But it's different. Angel doesn't want to do the whole vampire shtick. Spike probably still does but chooses not to. You told me he could have gone off with Drusilla if he'd wanted to."  
  
"He stayed for Buffy. If it weren't for her, he might have left."  
  
"But now he stays for you. Seems to me, Spike's always finding a reason to be good. That should tell you something."  
  
The windows were all uncovered. They walked back. Faith pulled out some stakes, handed a couple to Dawn. Pausing at the door, she looked at the younger slayer. "You ready?"  
  
Dawn took a deep breath, dropped her book bag at the door. She could already feel the adrenaline pumping. "Ready."  
  
Faith kicked the big door open. Light rushed in ahead of them. "Cock-a- doodle-doo," she taunted as she stepped into the room.  
  
Ten vampires stood in shadows in the middle of the room. There was very little space in the warehouse not flooded with sunlight.  
  
"Gosh, guess we went and ruined your nice place, huh?" Dawn laughed. She couldn't help it. She loved this. She stepped deliberately close to one of the vampires and he reached for her. She countered quickly, grabbing him and tossing him into the sunlight. He scurried for the shadows, but not before his coat started to blaze and nearly lit one of the other vampires on fire. The second vamp threw him back into the sunshine. He fell on the ground, then was gone.  
  
"So who wants to be next?" Faith asked. She looked disappointed as the sullen vampires just stared at her. "Looks like we have no volunteers, squirt."  
  
"This one'll do," Dawn pointed to a male in the front.  
  
He snarled at her. His leg came out to kick her and she grabbed it and pulled him into the sunshine. He fought her but she kicked him toward the open door. He hit the full sunshine and exploded into dust.  
  
Faith strode into the group, fighting with several of the vamps before tossing two more out the front door.  
  
Dawn liked the odds better. She stepped into the shade and immediately went after a female. The woman fought well but she made the mistake of stepping too close to the border of the shadows. Her hand began to sizzle and she screamed. Dawn staked her and turned to find a huge male blocking her way.  
  
His hands came up around her neck. "That was my woman!" he roared.  
  
"Join her then," Faith suggested as she staked him from the back then turned back to the three she was fighting.  
  
Dawn went after the vamp nearest her, staking him quickly before turning to help Faith. She could feel the other slayer as she fought, their movements perfectly in tune. Faith kicked one of the vampires back toward her, and Dawn staked him with one smooth motion. Faith dusted another. The last vampire went after Faith, all fighting style abandoned as he tried only to get his hands on her. Dawn hit him from the back as Faith stabbed him from the front. They both pulled back and he was gone in a shimmer of dust.  
  
"Hey!" a voice sounded behind Faith. She spun, her stake already coming down to take out the unexpected opponent.  
  
"No!" Dawn screamed as she saw who stood there.  
  
With an almost superhuman effort, Faith managed to pull the blow and the stake just grazed Lisa's shirt, ripping it but leaving Dawn's friend unharmed. Faith stared down at the stake, all color leaving her face for a moment. She seemed very far away.  
  
Lisa looked at Dawn, then at Kevin who stood behind her. She turned and stared up at Faith. Lisa's mouth was moving, but words weren't coming out.  
  
Kevin did better. "What the hell is going on?"  
  
Dawn stuck her stake into the back of her pants. "Nothing. What do you mean?"  
  
"What is that thing," Lisa pointed to the stake, then ran her finger over the long tear down the front of her shirt.  
  
"We saw it all." Kevin looked around the room. "We were outside when you threw those first few out. They like blew up or something when they were in the sunlight. And these others." He tried to touch the stake, but Faith jerked it away. "That's a stake isn't it? And those are vampires."  
  
Dawn's laugh was brittle. "Vampires are make-believe." She looked at Faith.  
  
The other slayer just shrugged.  
  
"This isn't make-believe," Lisa said, still touching the rip. "Being almost killed isn't make-believe."  
  
Dawn tried to distract her. "What are you even doing here? Were you following me?"  
  
"Yeah," Kevin said. "We were worried about you."  
  
"Oh, like you care," Dawn retorted.  
  
"I do care. I thought after your mom died that you and I were really talking, you know communicating. But then you disappeared for a while and we heard your sister had died and suddenly you were back in town, but you never called me."  
  
"Or me," Lisa jumped in. "We used to talk every day."  
  
"And when school started, you were all different." He looked at her. "We saw you go off with her," he pointed at Faith. "And we didn't know what to think. So we followed you."  
  
"And here we are." Lisa met Dawn's gaze with steely resolve. "We've been best friends forever. Or have you forgotten that?"  
  
Dawn looked at the other girl. She did feel as if they'd been close for a long time. But in her heart she knew that before the monks did their spell, Lisa had probably had another best friend. Or maybe no one. Dawn considered that. Did it matter how it happened? Lisa was the closest friend she had. And Kevin, well he might be more someday. She decided to trust them. She pointed at the other slayer, "This is Faith."  
  
"Hey," Faith said evenly.  
  
"And she is sort of like a big sister to me. Well except that..."  
  
Faith cleared her throat, then shook her head slightly when Dawn looked over.  
  
She realized she'd been about to talk about Buffy being alive. She had to leave that part out, at least until they knew how they were going to explain all that. "Except that she isn't related or anything."  
  
"Yeah, ok. So were those vampires?" Kevin seemed determined to get his original question answered.  
  
Dawn nodded.  
  
"Like suck your blood, hissing at crosses vampires?"  
  
"Pretty much, yeah." Dawn looked over at Lisa.  
  
"This is too weird." Her friend sat down suddenly. She looked up at Dawn with awe. "You were fighting them."  
  
"Yeah. That's what we do." Faith replied  
  
"We're slayers," Dawn offered. "Vampire slayers."  
  
"Vampire slayers," Kevin repeated. "How do you get that job? Did you like apply for it or something?"  
  
"Slayers are called. One girl in all the world to fight the vampires and other evil."  
  
"One girl?" Lisa looked at both of them with a confused look as she stood back up.  
  
"Well ok, thr..two right now." Faith started to explain, then thought better of it. "Look, we'd be here all day if I told you the whole story. And you really don't want to be in this neighborhood once the sun sets, believe me."  
  
"We'll walk you home," Dawn said.  
  
Her friends were quiet at first as they walked back to their neighborhood. Then Lisa whispered. "I heard things, about your sister. That she was always in fights. But that she was usually protecting people. She was a slayer too, wasn't she?"  
  
Dawn nodded.  
  
"But she died." Kevin thought about that. "Fighting vampires?"  
  
"Something worse." Dawn didn't want to think about that night. "When she died, I was called."  
  
"That doesn't seem fair, somehow," Lisa observed.  
  
"Tell me about it." Dawn looked over. "I'm sorry about the way I've been acting. It's just so much has happened and then this. It was all too much, I guess."  
  
"So now that we know, you won't be all weird around us, will you?" Lisa's face got stern. "I mean I don't care if you are the slayer. You used to care about school and your friends."  
  
"I know. I'll try to be better." Dawn stopped in front of Lisa's house. "Don't tell anyone, ok? Either of you?"  
  
Lisa gave her a quick hug. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." She began to laugh. "I guess this explains why you're suddenly so good in PE?"  
  
"I guess it does," Dawn smiled sheepishly.  
  
Her friend just nodded, then headed up the walk. Once she was safely inside, they started walking again.  
  
Kevin looked over at her. "You look different too. Older."  
  
She smiled.  
  
"And scarier."  
  
Her smile faded.  
  
"You were really getting into that fight, Dawn. That's kind of creepy."  
  
"Might as well enjoy your work," Faith offered breezily.  
  
Dawn tried to explain, "They aren't really alive. I mean, they had to die first before they became a vampire. And they're monsters, you know?"  
  
"Yeah. I guess. But you two were really going for it. Like you got off on it or something."  
  
"Maybe we do." Faith's voice was defiant.  
  
"Would that be so bad? Would it really be better if we had to be dragged out every night kicking and screaming?"  
  
"You do this every night?" He seemed disturbed at the thought.  
  
Dawn nodded. "Till we die."  
  
"Dawn," Faith looked at her in concern.  
  
"Well it's true. Nobody ever says it but it is."  
  
"Till you die. And then someone else gets called."  
  
"That's right, Einstein," Faith strode on ahead.  
  
"What's her problem?"  
  
Dawn shrugged. "It's a touchy subject. And she doesn't like too many people."  
  
"What about you? Do you like me?" Kevin looked at her seriously. "Because I thought we were hitting it off and then you got all weird. Kirsty said you were on drugs."  
  
"I thought we agreed not to listen to her," she said sternly.  
  
"Yeah, we did, but that was before you zoned out on me. I didn't know what to think."  
  
"I like you, Kevin. I like you a lot." She looked down, feeling suddenly very shy.  
  
He reached over and took her hand. "Well, I like you a lot too."  
  
They walked the rest of the way to his house in silence. He didn't let go of her hand till he had to.  
  
Faith stepped close to her as they watched him wave from the front door, then close it behind him. "Somebody's got a boyfriend."  
  
Dawn blushed. "What? Don't you approve?"  
  
"No, he seems nice. They both do." She smiled at the younger girl. "Hell, Buffy's got a bloody back-up group, why shouldn't you?"  
  
"Bloody?" Dawn laughed. "I think Giles is wearing off on you."  
  
"It could happen." Faith laughed. "Don't tell him I said that. He'll be way too pleased."  
  
Dawn grinned. "Do you love him, Faith?"  
  
The other girl smiled. "Yeah."  
  
"That's cool." Dawn looked over at the other slayer. "Race you back to the cemetery?"  
  
"You're on," Faith said and took off running.  
  
"No fair," Dawn laughed as she tried to catch her. She didn't really care though that Faith was winning. All she could think of was Kevin and how she could still feel the touch of his hand on hers.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Faith slept in late the next morning. Giles was already up when she finally opened her eyes. She walked down to find him drinking coffee and staring out the window. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Tristan."  
  
"Oh. Can't you just ignore him while he's here?"  
  
Giles gave a soft laugh. "I wish I could."  
  
"You want me to kill him?"  
  
He turned to her in surprise, relaxed when he saw the teasing smile. "Best not."  
  
"Suit yourself." She snuggled in under his arm. "Did he say something about us?" She could feel him tense. Knew she was right. "It doesn't matter what any of them think. Isn't that what you've told me like a thousand times?"  
  
His arm tightened around her.  
  
She kissed his cheek. "I love you. You love me. Bunch of old geezers in England don't get that, too bad."  
  
He looked down at her, a grin of pure affection transforming his face.  
  
"That's the look I like to see." She pulled his mouth down to hers. "We have lots of time before that meeting."  
  
He laughed. "Yes I suppose we do. Did you have an idea for how to spend it?"  
  
She leaned up, whispered in his ear. He blushed but let her lead him back up to the loft.  
  
Much later, he whispered into her ear, "Don't fall asleep. We have to go soon."  
  
She roused herself. "And I want to look my trashy best." She chuckled and got out of bed. Reaching into the closet she pulled out her black leather pants and a low cut top. "What do you think? Push-up bra too much?"  
  
"Probably." He got an evil smile. "Although if you want to wear it later..."  
  
"You're a very bad man," she replied as she headed downstairs for a shower. Minutes later, she was drying her hair and putting on makeup. She resisted the urge to go all out with the kohl.  
  
When she joined Giles he looked at her in approval. "You're beautiful."  
  
"You have to say that."  
  
"No, I don't. I could say you were sexy, which you are. Or pretty. Or handsome. But you are beautiful."  
  
She felt something crack inside of her. It was as if he knew where all the walls were around her heart and was systematically battering them down in his gentle way.  
  
He pulled out a box. "This was my grandmother's. I want you to have it."  
  
She opened the box, hoping that it wasn't something formal like a cameo, and was pleased to see a small onyx figure on a heavy silver chain. "It's beautiful. What is it?"  
  
"An Indian deity. Kali or KaliMa. She was the protector of women. And occasionally the destroyer of men. And demons. She is sometimes referred to as the slayer."  
  
"Cool." She held it up, admiring the fearsome goddess. "This was your grandmother's?"  
  
"Yes, well, grandmum was not your average woman." He took the necklace and fastened it around her neck. "And neither are you."  
  
She walked over to the hall mirror. The four-armed goddess sat on Faith's skin as if she were made to be there. The old onyx shone with a velvet gleam as the chain caught the light. It was perfect. She hugged Giles. "I love it."  
  
"I'm glad. I realized that I've never given you anything."  
  
"Giles, you've given me more than you will ever know." She kissed him, felt him respond.  
  
Then he gently pushed her away. "As much as I would like to continue this, we must be going."  
  
She nodded, grabbed her jacket, and followed him out. The short ride over was quiet, their silence comfortable and full. Faith pulled down the visor so that she could admire her new necklace in the mirror. She saw Giles glance over at her once and she smiled at him. He looked very pleased with himself. His pleasure faded as soon as they parked the car at Buffy's. Tristan had also arrived, was just getting out of his car.  
  
"Ah, right on time, Rupert." The watcher walked over and inspected her as she sat in the convertible. "And you must be the elusive Faith."  
  
"In the flesh."  
  
"Yes." He sniffed. "Quite a lot of it."  
  
"You don't like my outfit?"  
  
"Faith..." Giles tone was warning.  
  
"It's alright, Giles. Your girl, and my how that phrase conveys a multitude of meanings, can dress however she pleases."  
  
"Wicked generous of you," Faith got out of the car and walked toward the house.  
  
"Miss-"  
  
She cut him off. "Just Faith."  
  
"Right. Faith. I'd like to talk to you for a moment. Alone." He turned to Giles, who had begun to protest. "This has nothing to do with the relationship between you two. I just want to talk to the slayer."  
  
Giles finally walked inside.  
  
Faith narrowed her eyes. "Just one of three."  
  
"Pardon me?"  
  
"I'm not the slayer. I'm a slayer. There's a difference."  
  
"Quite. That's what I wanted to speak to you about." He sighed heavily. "I want to talk seriously about what's going on here. All this fuss to get back Miss Summers' life. A worthy cause I'm sure, but quite a lot of effort for one girl. One girl that might be more than a little affected by her experience in the portal."  
  
"Affected?"  
  
"Faith, let me be perfectly candid. I want you to do the same. Haven't you had some doubts about her mental stability? Are we doing the right thing putting her back into the line of fire?"  
  
"You want me to say that I think she's crazy?"  
  
"I can't ask Dawn to go against her sister. I know she wouldn't, even if she agreed that something was wrong. But one signed statement from you and we could take Buffy back for counseling...get her some help."  
  
Faith laughed. "Like you were going to get me some help?" She shook her head. "Buffy died saving the world. That's me and you and everyone else on the friggin' council. Seems to me we kind of owe her." She headed for the steps.  
  
"Faith, if the girl needs help, can you really afford to walk away?"  
  
Without turning, she shot back, "Buffy's fine. If you think I'll help you, you're an idiot." She took a few more steps, then turned. "Oh and Tristan?"  
  
He looked at her, irritation written on his features.  
  
"Don't call us girls." She hurried up the stairs and into the house.  
  
Buffy stood by the window. "What did he want?"  
  
"Don't trust him, B. He's a scumbag."  
  
Buffy's face tightened. "Thanks."  
  
Faith nodded and hurried over to Giles.  
  
Haversham opened the door and walked through. He ignored the glares from both slayers and started to speak without preamble. "Are we all here?"  
  
"Dawn's on her way home," Willow replied.  
  
"She should already be here."  
  
"Yeah, well she's not. So deal." Buffy's tone was hostile.  
  
"Fine, we'll wait. I need to make some calls," he pulled out a cell phone and walked into the kitchen.  
  
Xander scowled at the door Haversham had disappeared into, then turned to Giles. "How come you're the only normal person we've met from the Council?"  
  
"It's probably why they fired him," Anya offered.  
  
Spike walked into the room. "I miss anything?"  
  
"Just an irritated watcher," Willow answered.  
  
Dawn rushed in from outside. "Am I late?"  
  
"Fraid so," Tara said.  
  
"Damn." Dawn grimaced at Buffy's glare. "Darn." She rolled her eyes as she joined Willow on the floor.  
  
Haversham walked back out. "Well, I see we're all assembled. Finally."  
  
Faith thought the watcher's attitude was getting old fast. Looking at Buffy she could see her fellow slayer agreed. Their eyes met in a rare moment of understanding.  
  
"Very well then. I have laid the groundwork for Miss Summers' return. There are two prongs to the plan. The first will be taken care of by my operatives. We'll be switching the bodies in the gravesite. You said, Rupert, that there was no autopsy, nor any question of the body's identity?"  
  
"We called the police directly. Identified her at the scene. There was no autopsy at our request."  
  
"We'll still check the police and coroner files. Make sure no dental records or photos of the corpse exist."  
  
Faith saw Buffy swallow and look down.  
  
"Could we not talk about Buffy's body that way?" Dawn said.  
  
"I don't see why not. It's not your sister, as you well know."  
  
"But it was my sister."  
  
"Let it go, Niblet," Spike suggested.  
  
Haversham looked at the vampire in surprise. Spike stared back, his expression neutral.  
  
"Won't they be able to tell that you disturbed the grave?" Tara asked.  
  
"We have quite a lot of experience in this, Miss Maclay. No one will question."  
  
"Won't the person have to look an awful lot like Buffy?" Willow glanced at her friend. "Do you just have bodies on hand?"  
  
Haversham nodded. "Actually we do. I can't really go into it but think of a worldwide network of morgues and funeral homes willing to provide us with whatever we need. This body will look enough like Miss Summers to be easily mistaken for her by you. We'll come up with a convincing story for why she was here in Sunnydale. No one will question it. Especially when the real Miss Summers drives back into town."  
  
"Huh?" Buffy looked at him in suspicion.  
  
"We need to provide you with a story for the past few months."  
  
"So we're going to say that I just left town?"  
  
"Yes, you were so distraught over your mother's death, at the responsibility that entailed, that you snapped, ran away."  
  
"Nobody's going to believe that."  
  
Haversham smiled meanly. "Why not? They believed you committed suicide."  
  
Faith could tell that Buffy had never considered that. But it was the easiest explanation. The other slayer wasn't done arguing.  
  
"This is ridiculous. I'd never just leave Dawn, not when Glory-"  
  
"The authorities don't know about Glory," Haversham countered. "All they know is that there were two dead bodies under that tower and yours was an apparent suicide."  
  
Buffy's voice was very quiet. "Two bodies?"  
  
'That's right. Glory's host also died."  
  
"Ben?" Her face was horrified. "But that's impossible. He was alive when I left him."  
  
Faith looked over at Giles. He met her eyes firmly, then almost imperceptibly shook his head. She felt confusion wash over her. Wasn't he going to say something?  
  
Haversham continued. "Massive injuries. Beaten to death by a heavy object. Police were mystified at the connection. I doubt any of you were any help."  
  
The Scoobies sat silent in affirmation.  
  
"So I killed Ben."  
  
Haversham corrected her. "No, you killed Glory, his death was unfortunate but not unexpected. You're really getting upset over nothing."  
  
"A life is not nothing." Buffy turned away from him, looked at the others. "Ben helped us, he saved your life, Giles. Shouldn't we care that I killed him?"  
  
Spike's voice was bitter. "Bugger took that bitch Glory with him when he died. Think that justifies whatever happened. She'd have come back for us eventually."  
  
Anya spoke. "It was really Glory that killed him. She wouldn't give up, wouldn't stop fighting you even when you were really hurting her. Maybe if she had, he wouldn't have died."  
  
"I beat him to death." There was raw pain in Buffy's voice.  
  
"So what?" Dawn stood up, went to her sister. "He wasn't good. I don't care if he helped us or not. He really wasn't good. He could have let me get away, but he didn't. He took me back to her so that he could live."  
  
Willow agreed. "And even before that he knew Glory was after the key. He could have told you the truth before she found out it was Dawn. But he didn't."  
  
"You can't blame yourself, Buffy," Spike said. "Glory took him down with her. And he'd chosen to fight on her side. He wasn't an innocent bystander."  
  
"I was so mad at her, though. I kept hitting her. She was down and I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. Maybe if I hadn't been so out of control?" She looked at Giles in appeal.  
  
He finally spoke. "Maybe what? He'd still be alive? Then so would Glory. And Spike's right. She'd be after us even now. Making us all pay. It's a terrible thing, but ultimately for the best."  
  
Faith sat silently, watching Buffy process her watcher's words. Faith's eyes again met Giles. His look was wary. She nodded slightly. She would not betray him. He seemed to relax.  
  
"Can we move off this point now?" Haversham looked at his watch. He turned to Buffy. "You and I need to get to the airport. I have a plane waiting to fly you to New Mexico. Then you'll be driving back here."  
  
"New Mexico?"  
  
"Lots of remote places there that a person could stay for several months and never be seen. Easy to set up a backstory. And we have a good network there to help us."  
  
Buffy stood. "Should I pack?"  
  
"No. You left suddenly, remember. We'll have clothes for you there."  
  
Faith stood up. "How do we know you'll bring her back?"  
  
Dawn and Spike stared hard at the watcher.  
  
Haversham laughed. "She'll be back. I give you my word. Rupert can attest that it is worth something."  
  
Giles nodded.  
  
Haversham turned to Willow. "A glamour would be nice. I'd like to get her to the plane without anyone recognizing her. And I'll need the counterspell."  
  
The witch stood up. She touched Buffy's shoulder, whispered some words. Suddenly Buffy looked like a little old woman.  
  
"Well done." Haversham looked at Willow speculatively. "Such power in one so young. Quite an accomplishment. You would be an excellent addition to the Council."  
  
Willow's look was sour. "Thanks, I'll pass." She told him the words for the counterspell.  
  
"As you wish." Haversham turned to Buffy. "Are you ready?"  
  
The old woman nodded and turned to the others. "See you."  
  
Dawn rushed to her, hugged her tightly. "Come home soon."  
  
"I will." She followed Haversham out.  
  
As soon as the door closed, the others began to talk at once. Xander's voice was the loudest. "So what do we do?"  
  
All eyes turned to Giles. He sighed. "We go on as if nothing has changed and we still believe Buffy is dead. Her return must appear a surprise to us all." He nodded to Faith. "We may as well go home. There's nothing more to do here now." He didn't even stop to see if she was following, just walked out the door.  
  
Faith looked at Dawn. "I'll meet you here later for patrol?"  
  
The other slayer nodded. "I miss Buffy already."  
  
Faith gave her a quick hug. "She'll be ok. And so will we. And soon this will all be over and everything will be back to normal, or what passes for that in this town." She hurried out to catch up with Giles.  
  
He already had the car started. The silence on the way back held none of the ease of the ride over. She followed him into the apartment, watched as he poured himself a scotch.  
  
She sat on a stool, said nothing as he paced. When he appeared to be winding down, she asked, "Why?"  
  
"Because I'm a coward."  
  
She frowned. "You're anything but that."  
  
He looked at her. "You don't think what I did was wrong?"  
  
She shrugged. "Not my call."  
  
"When you tried to frame Buffy for Finch's death, that was wrong."  
  
She nodded. "Circumstances are different. Ben might have died anyway. Buffy stopped a god, Giles. What do you think that did to the host's body?"  
  
"Ben withstood other things that we did to Glory."  
  
Faith raised an eyebrow. "Do you want me to side with you or not?"  
  
He glared at her. "I don't want you to do anything."  
  
"And back there, at the house, I didn't do anything. I didn't betray you. But you told me the truth, Giles. And that makes me part of this."  
  
"Well forget the truth then." He sat down heavily on the couch.  
  
"How can I, now that it's going to haunt you forever...or until you tell her."  
  
He turned to look at her. "Tell her?"  
  
She walked over to the couch, stood in front of him. "Tell Buffy. When she gets back. Tell her the truth. Let her decide if you tell the others or the Council. It's the only way you're going to find peace."  
  
Giles stared at her, then pulled her to him. "When did you get to be so wise?" he murmured as he laid his head against her body.  
  
She stroked his hair. "I just tried to think of what you would tell me."  
  
He looked up at her and smiled. "I love you."  
  
She eased herself onto his lap. "And I love you."  
  
He played with the Kali statue that dangled from her neck. "My goddess. My defender."  
  
As she leaned in to kiss him, she whispered, "Your protector. Forever and always. No matter what."  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
Buffy stared out the window, ignoring Haversham. For his part he seemed to have little interest in talking to her. She sighed. Focus, she ordered, this is the last step to getting your life back.  
  
They pulled into the airport. Haversham followed a side road to a remote parking area. One plane sat on the tarmac. The door opened as they drove up. Haversham stopped the car.  
  
Buffy got out then realized that Haversham hadn't moved. "Isn't this it?"  
  
"Indeed it is. But I'm needed here in Sunnydale."  
  
She looked at the plane uncertainly.  
  
"Don't worry. An associate of yours is waiting for you. He'll be with you the whole time. There's just one thing to do before I go." Haversham spoke the counterspell that Willow had given him.  
  
Buffy didn't feel any different but she could tell by the look of satisfaction on his face that the glamour had come off. "An associate of mine?" She knew she was frowning.  
  
Footsteps sounded behind her. She turned slowly. Felt her heart start to beat faster. "Riley?"  
  
"Yep." Riley nodded to Haversham. "We're all ready on this end."  
  
"Good. I'll see you in a few days."  
  
Riley nodded and Haversham drove away. He turned to Buffy. "Aren't you going to say something?"  
  
"I thought you were in Belize or something?"  
  
He motioned her to go to the plane, walked next to her. "I was. But then I got this call. They said it was important. For you. How could I say no?"  
  
Buffy tried to make sense of the things she was feeling. She was glad to see him, but she was also very angry. She followed him up the stairs and let him point her to a seat.  
  
"Better strap in, we need to get in the air."  
  
She did as he said. He walked to the cockpit and spoke to the pilot then closed the outside door. The plane began to taxi. He took the seat opposite hers and put on his seatbelt. She just stared at him.  
  
"I was sorry to hear about your mom."  
  
She nodded.  
  
"And then you. I didn't know. I mean, for what it's worth."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
He looked uncomfortable. "So here's the scenario. I came into town. I'd just been discharged. It was after the funeral, but before you took off to get away from Glory. You were at the end of your rope. It was all too much for you. You needed to get away. And I could take you far from Sunnydale. So I drove us to New Mexico. We've been living in an old ranch house north of Santa Fe. You didn't go out much, too stressful. I was with you most of the time. So nobody really got to know us. Luckily for us the watchers found a house that a couple had been living in, so the townspeople have seen people there. And they were artists, didn't get out much. We'll be able to pass for them easily." He frowned when she didn't ask any questions. "You ever going to say anything?"  
  
"You just left."  
  
Now he was silent.  
  
"I came after you, you know. I tried to stop you."  
  
He looked down. "I didn't know."  
  
"No. You were too busy being Riley Finn, ultimatum guy."  
  
"That's not fair."  
  
She laughed bitterly. "Not fair. All the crap I was going through and you issue a love me better or else ultimatum and I'm not fair? Give me a break."  
  
"I couldn't stay the way things were."  
  
"So instead of addressing the problem you just ran away."  
  
He sighed. "I don't want to fight."  
  
"No. You never want to fight." She looked out the window. "You just want me to be different."  
  
"Is that so wrong? I wanted to matter to you."  
  
"You did matter. But my mom was sick, and Dawn was the..." she trailed off, unsure if he knew about the key. She found herself unwilling to tell him if he didn't. "Well there were huge things going on with Dawn, and I was suddenly totally responsible for her. I'm sorry I couldn't make you the center of my life, Riley. I sort of had other things to deal with."  
  
"You could have let me help."  
  
"When? In between your visits to donate blood to the local neighborhood undead skank?"  
  
He looked away angrily. "Seems to me that should be old news by now."  
  
"No, it's just one more thing we never got to talk about. Everything that is wrong with me is open for discussion. But god forbid I bring up something that you did." She undid her seat belt.  
  
"Buffy, it's not really safe yet."  
  
She just glared at him as she got up and walked to the bathroom. She closed the door and stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were haunted. This was the last thing she had needed. She had a feeling Haversham had known that. "Bastard," she whispered.  
  
She splashed water on her face and took several deep breaths. To get her life back, to be Buffy Summers again, she would have to deal with this. And she could. She'd been through worse than a few days with her ex. She sighed before opening the door.  
  
Riley was reading a magazine. She took her seat and fastened her seat belt. Leaning back, she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. She tried to take her mind back, to remember happier times. But each memory seemed to hurt. She tried to think of something recent, something free of her mom and Angel and death. She remembered sparring with Spike in the basement. She could almost feel his lips on hers. With a start she pushed the memory aside and forced herself to think of all the schoolwork she would have to catch up on when she enrolled again in school. She fell asleep trying to choose a major.  
  
Some time later, she woke as the plane touched down in Albuquerque. Riley led her down the stairs. A pick-up was parked nearby. They got in and he drove off. In the dark, it was hard to make out the scenery but after a few hours they turned off the main road and Buffy could tell that the area was becoming more and more desolate.  
  
"Pretty lonely out here in the winter," Riley observed.  
  
"I guess."  
  
"We only have to spend enough time here to be seen around town, so they know we are packing up."  
  
"Right."  
  
He sighed and quit talking.  
  
They finally pulled into a dirt road, then Riley stopped the truck in front of a small one level house. Buffy followed him in. He made them some sandwiches and explained Haversham's plan for them in detail. When they had finished eating, he gave her a quick tour of the house. She was relieved to see that there were two bedrooms. The closet in her room held some clothes for her, mostly jeans and t-shirts.  
  
"Not much reason to be a fashion plate here."  
  
"Are you making fun of me?"  
  
"No. But I know you like clothes and these aren't your normal style. It's only for a few days, then you can look cool again." He walked to the door. "If you need anything, you know where I am."  
  
She nodded. She undressed and lay down on the bed. Sleep was long in coming but when it did it brought nightmares. She was back in the house the night that Dawn had called her mother's body back from the dead. This time her sister didn't stop the spell. The door opened and Joyce walked in. Only it wasn't Joyce. The corpse wore Buffy's face. Dawn was screaming behind her.  
  
"Buffy!" She jerked away to find Riley beside her, holding her. "It's ok. It's just a dream."  
  
She tried to pull away.  
  
"Let me help," he whispered. "Please, Buffy." His hand stroked her hair.  
  
She knew it was wrong. But his arms were strong, and his body was big enough to shield her. She let him hold her. And when he kissed her, she didn't stop him.  
  
"Buffy, I love you. I've never stopped loving you." His voice was so familiar and his touch so warm.  
  
She gave herself up to it. Began to return his kisses with a passion that surprised her. Falling back into the rhythm they had known, they were soon making love. She closed her eyes and tried to lose herself in the sensations. His voice called her back. She opened her eyes, saw his face contorted in pleasure above her, and suddenly was consumed with emptiness. He slumped against her contentedly. She lay as if stone. Why had she done this?  
  
"Buffy?" His voice was full of tender concern. "Why are you crying?"  
  
She wiped at tears she hadn't realized were falling. "This is wrong."  
  
He pulled her close. "How can it be wrong? We love each other. We've found each other again. Now things can be different."  
  
She pushed him off her. "You mean I can be different, don't you?"  
  
"What is wrong with you?"  
  
"See, that's exactly what I mean. Why is it always that something is wrong with me?"  
  
"God, Buffy, could you be any more self-centered?" He pushed himself up into a sitting position. "It's not always about you." He got up. "Maybe if you were less quick to judge, things might have worked between us."  
  
"Judge? Like you aren't judging me? Why don't you just tell me what else you think is wrong with me. Then maybe I can change all at once so that the great Riley Finn is finally happy."  
  
"Well happy's a good place to start. When was the last time you were happy, Buffy?"  
  
"You've got to be kidding me. After all I've been through and you want to know when I was last happy? I've tried to tell you, being a slayer isn't big on the joy front."  
  
"Well maybe if you were a little less focused on being the slayer, and a little more interested in being Buffy, it might be different."  
  
"I don't have the choice, Riley. Don't you think I'd like to be a normal girl? Go out with friends and do silly things?"  
  
He shook his head. "No, I don't think you would. I think you like wallowing in every little misery you can make out of your life."  
  
She pulled the sheet up around her. "Get out."  
  
He laughed bitterly. "With pleasure." The door slammed behind him.  
  
Hot, angry tears filled her eyes. She rolled over and stared at the wall, all hope of sleep gone. Morning took a long time to arrive.  
  
The next day was mercifully busy, she was too busy to dwell on what had happened. They packed up their things and loaded them into the truck. Riley made several passes through town, stopping at the small market and the hardware store to tell his story. Buffy followed him in and pretended to be his girlfriend. She was glad when they finally pulled out of town.  
  
Riley didn't talk till they hit the interstate. "I figure we can get to somewhere in Arizona before we have to stop."  
  
"Why not drive straight through?"  
  
"That's real funny, Buffy, since you can't drive."  
  
"I learned. Once mom got sick I had to. Giles taught me. I have a license."  
  
Riley glanced over at her. "You drive?"  
  
"Yeah. So we can just take turns. I want to get home."  
  
"Fine by me." He said tightly.  
  
The trip was long and boring. Buffy found herself looking forward to the times she could drive just to break up the monotony. The radio in the truck was broken so there wasn't even the relief of music. Finally, early in the evening, they reached Sunnydale. Riley parked in a lot on the outskirts of town and pulled out a cell phone. "It's us, we're in town. Ok. Yeah I know where that is. No problem." He pulled back out into traffic. "Haversham says that a cop that knows you just headed out for dinner."  
  
"Detective Stein," she guessed. Then she saw a sedan ahead of them. It was an unmarked police car. She recognized the man behind the wheel. "That's him," she told Riley.  
  
As the cop pulled into a fast food place, Riley eased the truck in behind him.  
  
"I've had two run-ins with him. Both times involved a murder. He'll remember me. This is perfect." She was already out of the car.  
  
"Hold up there, killer," Riley said.  
  
She had a moment of déjà vu. Why did that sound so familiar? The feeling was replaced with thoughts of Ben lying dead where she had left him. "Don't call me that," she said sharply.  
  
"Sorry. I was just teasing."  
  
"Well don't." She walked away.  
  
He reached out, touched her arm. "Buffy, I'm sorry. I just can't seem to say the right thing with you."  
  
She sighed. "Forget it."  
  
"I don't want to forget it. I don't want to forget anything. Look, can't we try again? The other night, I said some things I shouldn't have."  
  
She shook her head although her expression softened. "No, you just said what was in your heart. I wish I could be what you want, but I never will be. I'm what you see, and I don't think that you really like that very much."  
  
"Of course I do. I fell in love with you, didn't I?"  
  
She gave him a bittersweet smile. "The Buffy you loved, that loved you, she's gone, Riley. She died. Not on that tower. She died when Mom got sick. And I buried her when Mom died. She's never coming back. This is me, this is all I have to offer."  
  
"I know it's hard to lose someone. But maybe it just takes time?"  
  
She shook her head. "You don't know what it's like. You couldn't possibly know what it's like. I'll never go back to the way I was. That girl...she doesn't exist anymore."  
  
He looked down. "Then I'm sorry. Because I loved that girl." He walked into the restaurant.  
  
She followed him in. Detective Stein was just taking his order to a table and she managed to get right in his way. They almost collided. "Oh, I'm sorry."  
  
He stopped in his tracks. "You're Buffy Summers."  
  
She copped an attitude. "Last I checked, yeah."  
  
"That's impossible."  
  
Riley looked back from his place in line, in perfect character he walked back to her. "Something wrong, Buffy?"  
  
Stein looked him over. "And you'd be?"  
  
"Riley Finn. I'm a friend of Buffy's."  
  
"This is impossible."  
  
"Is there some problem, Mister..."  
  
"Detective. Detective Stein. And yeah there's a problem. The problem is that we buried this woman several months ago."  
  
Buffy frowned. "That's not very funny. Just because my mother died." She turned away.  
  
Riley leaned in to the Detective. "We still don't talk much about it. She's really having a hard time coping. That's why I took her away with me. So maybe you could hold off on those kind of jokes?"  
  
"This isn't a joke."  
  
Buffy turned back around, her expression was rife with confusion "But I'm not dead. I mean I know I shouldn't have just bailed on Dawn and my friends this way, but I can't believe they'd say I was dead."  
  
Detective Stein picked up his cell phone. "If you're not buried in that grave, then I need to find out who is."  
  
"I have a grave. Oh my god that's creepy." She shuddered. The gesture was only half faked. She turned to Riley; let desperation sneak into her voice. "We've got to get home. They think I'm dead."  
  
They turned to go. The detective called after them. "You'll be somewhere I can reach you?"  
  
Buffy fought a smile. "Don't worry, Detective. I'm not going anywhere."  
  
As they left the restaurant, Buffy heard Stein order the body in her grave exhumed. She sighed in relief as they drove away. A few more days and she would be free.  
  
------------------------------  
  
Spike sat in the living room, listening to Dawn's laughter. She had friends over, a change he was happy to see. She had been alone far too much up to now. She needed to be around people her own age.  
  
The teenagers ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. The girl Lisa said hello. He thought she had a bit of crush on him. The boy seemed to only have eyes for Dawn. Spike felt a surge of suspicion. Kevin better treat her right. He smiled. The whole scenario was ludicrous; Spike the bad-ass playing overprotective dad.  
  
He thought of Buffy, wondered how she was doing. Everything was ready for her return. The watcher and his pals had changed the bodies in the grave. They had covered their tracks well, even changing a few official reports. It was all set to unravel seamlessly.  
  
Haversham hadn't been around the house since. Spike suspected he was still in town, just lying low so as not to muddy the waters when the cops started poking around. Spike thought he should do the same. Officially he didn't exist and his presence would just raise questions. Luckily he could hide out in the basement. Maybe Buffy would come down and visit him. He smiled wickedly at the thought. Except for that first visit, when she had tried to stake him, he'd been enjoying her little forays into his territory.  
  
He heard a car pull up outside. It was Buffy. Every cell in his body knew it. She walked through the door and a big grin crossed his face only to die when Riley followed her in.  
  
Buffy saw him first. "Spike."  
  
Dawn came charging out of the kitchen. Without missing a beat, she dropped her coke and stared at her sister. "Buffy! But you're dead..."  
  
Lisa and Kevin stopped behind her, staring at Buffy with shock.  
  
Seeing the others, Buffy moved toward her slowly. "It's all right, Dawnie. It's really me. I'm home."  
  
Spike stood up. "How? We thought..."  
  
She shook her head. "I didn't know. I was with Riley. In New Mexico. If I'd known you all thought I was dead, I would have come back."  
  
"You really weren't in any shape to come back." Riley's voice was full of loving concern.  
  
Spike felt all his hopes plummet. Riley was back and from the look of it had wormed his way back into Buffy's life. And heart. Spike turned to Kevin and Lisa. "I think we need to give Dawn and Buffy some time together."  
  
They grabbed their backpacks and hurried out. Once the door closed. Dawn pulled away from Buffy and glared at Riley. "Why is he here?"  
  
"Nice to see you again too, Dawn. You're all grown up now."  
  
"I'm a slayer. We grow up fast." She walked into the kitchen, came back with a handful of paper towels. She began to mop up the spilled soda.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Riley was glaring at the vampire.  
  
Spike was surprised Buffy hadn't told him the story. "I'm Dawn's watcher. I live here."  
  
"Now I've heard everything." He looked at Buffy. "And you're ok with this?"  
  
She nodded. "Things are different here now. Faith is back too."  
  
"Faith? You haven't caught her yet?"  
  
"No, I mean she's a slayer again. She lives with Giles."  
  
"Giles and Faith? What? Is he going through midlife crisis? Or just insane?"  
  
"You don't know anything about it. So shut up." Dawn's voice was vicious.  
  
"I'm not really sure what I did to you to make you so mad at me, Dawn, but maybe you should ease up a bit."  
  
"Why?" She turned to her sister. "Is he going to be staying here?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "For a while anyway. It's part of the story."  
  
Spike decided he'd had enough. "Come on, Dawn. Time to train. I'm sure Riley needs to settle in." He glared at the other man.  
  
Dawn followed him downstairs. "I can't believe she brought him back." She threw herself on Spike's bed. "He's such a jerk."  
  
"You used to like him, didn't you?"  
  
"I was a kid then," she turned over, began to pull at the threads in the blanket. "He's just so annoying."  
  
He lit a cigarette. "Gotta agree with you there. Didn't make my day either to see him standing there."  
  
"Do you think that they're really together?"  
  
He sat down next to her. "I don't know."  
  
"Why can't she like you?" Dawn's voice sounded very young.  
  
"Some things just aren't meant to be, Niblet." He looked up, wondered what Buffy and Riley were doing, decided he didn't want to know. "Get up, we can at least do something productive.  
  
An hour later, Dawn stopped her exercises and looked up. "It's dark."  
  
He had felt the sun disappear but it surprised him that she could sense it as well. "How do you know?"  
  
She shrugged. "I just know."  
  
He ruffled her hair. "You're a special one. What say we get the hell out of here and patrol?"  
  
She nodded. "We should warn Faith and Giles."  
  
He stood up. "Good idea." He grabbed his equipment and followed her upstairs. She grabbed her bag from the hall closet.  
  
"Hope you're not leaving on my account?" Riley stood in the dining room watching them.  
  
"Patrol." Dawn turned away.  
  
"Can't believe Buffy lets you hang around with him."  
  
"Dawn makes her own decisions. As for Buffy, well she didn't have much say in this, her being dead and all."  
  
"Let's go, Spike." Dawn opened the door and walked out.  
  
"Better go," Riley gave him a cold smile.  
  
Spike turned to follow his slayer out.  
  
"I'll be watching you, Spike."  
  
He turned around, stared at Riley. Not for the first time, Spike wished he didn't have a chip in his head. This boy was begging for a thrashing. "Watch this." He flipped Riley off.  
  
He was still muttering when he joined Dawn on the sidewalk. "Posturing ape."  
  
Dawn didn't try to cheer him up. When they got to Giles' house, Faith took one look at their faces and asked, "What the hell's happened?"  
  
"Buffy's back." Spike nodded at Giles.  
  
The other watcher looked up. "So soon? Well at least it's started now."  
  
"She came back with Riley."  
  
"What?" Giles looked at Faith.  
  
"Buffy and Riley? As in together?" The older slayer grabbed her stuff. "I'll never figure B out." She walked over and kissed Giles goodbye.  
  
Out in the courtyard she shook her head. "Why would she want him back? That guy is trouble."  
  
"You know him rather well, don't you?" Spike remembered how she had played them all when she had switched bodies with Buffy. "What has he got some hidden kink we don't know about?" He smiled at the thought.  
  
She shook her head. "It's not that. I just don't trust that whole all- American boy gig. Nobody can be that squeaky clean."  
  
"His being here changes everything," Dawn complained as they moved off for the cemetery.  
  
Spike had to agree with her. Riley's presence was unexpected. And unwelcome. And would undoubtedly mean that Buffy wouldn't be paying him any further visits. He felt his anger rise. He looked at the two slayers. They looked upset as well. He hoped it was a good night for slaying. They all looked like they could use a few good kills.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
Giles was on the phone in the Summers' kitchen listening as Haversham filled him in. Buffy sat at the counter watching him.  
  
"It went surprisingly smooth. In this case it was fortunate that Buffy was so well known by the police. They accepted that it was she that returned, which was half the battle. They discovered the new body and will no doubt investigate that for a while." The watcher was quiet for a moment. "They won't find anything of course."  
  
"This corpse didn't come from one of our contacts, did it?"  
  
Haversham took a deep breath. "No. She was a slayer in training. A vampire snapped her neck."  
  
Giles didn't follow up what he suspected. To be mistaken for Buffy, this would-be slayer would have to look Buffy's age. Which meant that she had probably died in the Cruciamentum. He shuddered when he remembered Buffy's experience with that abomination. From what Wesley had told him she was one of the only girls to ever make it through the ritual. He suspected that if Joyce hadn't been involved Buffy wouldn't have found the inner strength to beat Kralik. And if Giles hadn't defied orders and been there, another vampire would have killed both women. The Cruciamentum was something he and Buffy never talked about but he had done a great deal of research on it. He believed that the ritual wasn't actually meant to eliminate the active slayer since so few of them ever reached 18, rather it was designed to get rid of the slayers-in-training that would never be called and had reached an awkward age. It was an easy way to make sure that they never spoke of the training they received or the Council they served. Giles had long ago come to the conclusion that the Council of Watchers was at least as monstrous as the creatures it existed to bring down.  
  
"So Buffy is free to live her life again."  
  
"Yes. I don't think the police will be back again. But if they are, I'm sure she can handle it."  
  
Giles knew she could. She'd already had several interviews with Detective Stein. He didn't seem suspicious of her story, especially with Riley backing it up. The young man reeked of credibility. "She'll be glad to hear it. I know that she is eager to return to patrolling."  
  
"Yes, I'm sure she is. As I'm eager to return to England." There was a pause. "Don't think we won't be watching her, Rupert. Or you."  
  
Giles wondered when his friend had become such a cold bastard. "Of course, Tristan."  
  
As he hung up, Buffy wandered out to the living room. He stood in the doorway and watched her. For someone that just had her life handed back to her, she didn't appear very happy.  
  
Riley was sitting on the couch. He had the paper in his hand. He looked up and asked her, "What's a six letter word for murderer?  
  
"Slayer," she answered numbly.  
  
He laughed. "Good one."  
  
"Yeah. She headed for the stairs, heard him say, "Killer."  
  
"I told you not to call me that." She spun angrily.  
  
"I wasn't. It's a six letter word for murderer." He looked at her. "What's wrong with you? Did something go wrong?"  
  
"No. It's all good."  
  
"Then shouldn't you be happy?"  
  
She didn't answer him, just continued upstairs.  
  
Giles knew what was haunting Buffy. It was the same thing haunting him. He followed her up the stairs to the bedroom. "Buffy, can I talk to you?"  
  
She was standing in front of her closet. She didn't turn around. "I really should be happy. I'm alive again. I can go out. Riley's here if I want him. But I keep thinking about..."  
  
"Ben," he finished for her.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
He stepped closer to her. "So do I."  
  
"I've never killed a human before, Giles." Her voice was a whisper.  
  
"No. And I hope you never do."  
  
She turned around slowly.  
  
"I killed Ben. After you left him to go up for Dawn. I suffocated him."  
  
She stared at him.  
  
He walked to the window. Looked out on the daylight. Such a beautiful world, even when it was all crashing down around him.  
  
Her voice was harsh. "You stood there and let me take the blame. You didn't say a word."  
  
"I know."  
  
"You think Faith is rubbing off on you, Giles?"  
  
He turned to face her, shook his head. "Actually, I believe that she was rather disappointed that I didn't say anything."  
  
"So she knows. And she didn't say anything either?"  
  
"She is loyal to me."  
  
"That scares me." Buffy's glare was furious. "How many other people know?"  
  
"You two are the only ones."  
  
She went and sat on the bed. He came and sat down next to her. "I can't even begin to tell you why I did it."  
  
"Because if the Council thought I killed him, you knew I wouldn't get in trouble. But if they found out you did it, there'd be an inquiry."  
  
"That is probably quite a lot of it."  
  
She looked down. "You killed him to protect us, to protect me, didn't you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"That doesn't make it right," she said fiercely.  
  
"It doesn't make it wrong either."  
  
She didn't argue. They both sat in silence for several moments. Finally, in a small voice, she said, "I'm not sure I know what's right and what's wrong anymore. Everything's different since I got back. I wasn't gone that long. How could it all have changed this way? How could you all have changed so much?"  
  
"Your death left a huge vacuum. It had to be filled and it fell to us to do so. We had to change, perhaps in ways you wish that we hadn't, to make it all whole again."  
  
"And now you have to make room for me again."  
  
"Yes."  
  
She turned to him. "And you did it by setting me up."  
  
He looked at her. "I'll do whatever you want, Buffy. If you want me to tell the Council that I killed Ben, I will. If you want me to tell the others, I'll do that too."  
  
She stared at him, then finally shook his head. "I need you here. If they take you away, everything will fall apart. Let the Council believe I did it."  
  
"What about the others?"  
  
"I'll have to think about that."  
  
"Buffy, I'm so sorry I let you think you'd killed him."  
  
"I know you are. But if you could do it over, would you do it differently?"  
  
He knew what his answer was but he didn't want to say it, so he said nothing. She looked away from him. He longed to touch her, to hold her. But he wasn't sure which of them he thought that would comfort. He rose. "I'll let myself out."  
  
--------------------  
  
Buffy sat on her bed. Her mind was reeling from what Giles had told her. She wanted to run after him, to say, "Lie to me, tell me you didn't do it or that if you could take it back you would." But she didn't move. She heard the door close downstairs, heard his car start. She had known for a long time that Giles was not always what he appeared to be. There was a dark side to him that twisted around the fierce love she knew he had for her and the others. She recognized his darkness because it called to something similar inside of her. It was what had brought them together, what kept them together. She loved him like a father, knew he loved her in equal measure as a daughter. They would both do anything to protect each other. But that didn't make what he had done hurt any less.  
  
"I saw Giles leave. I think I should go too. Since everything worked out for you." Riley stood at her bedroom door.  
  
"Everything." Buffy tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice. She stood and walked over to him. "Things haven't been that good between us. But I know that I owe you a big thank-you."  
  
He shrugged. "How could I not help?"  
  
She nodded. "You know I'd do the same for you."  
  
His gaze was intense. "Then do it. Help me get my life back. The part that had you in it."  
  
"We've been over this, Riley. It just won't work."  
  
"It could. If you wanted it to."  
  
"Then I guess I don't want that. I'm sorry."  
  
"It's ok. I had to try." He grinned but the smile didn't reach his eyes.  
  
"I know." She didn't even try to smile. "So what now?"  
  
He shrugged. "I guess I go back to my unit. You don't need me in Sunnydale. Three slayers and a vampire watcher pretty much have the place sewn up tight."  
  
She heard the sarcasm when he referred to Spike. "I know you don't believe it, but Spike is making a difference."  
  
"It's the chip, Buffy. Just the chip. Take it out and he'd be like all the rest."  
  
"Maybe. But the chip's there to stay. So he's not like all the rest. He's a good watcher for Dawn."  
  
Riley's voice was bitter. "Is she the only slayer he'll be watching?"  
  
She sighed. "I'm not going to get into this with you. And it's a stupid question. I don't love Spike."  
  
"He thinks he loves you. Goddamned animal in love with his killer. Funny in an ironic, disgusting way."  
  
"I don't want to argue now, Riley. Let's just put that all behind us, ok?"  
  
He stared at her with a strange intensity, then finally smiled. "Sure. Come here." He held her tightly. "I wish..."  
  
"I know." She kissed his cheek then walked him downstairs and to the door. "Good bye, Riley."  
  
"Good bye, Buffy."  
  
She shut the door slowly and closed her eyes. She couldn't cry for herself, but for the younger Buffy-the Buffy that hadn't lost her mother- she could weep. "I wish I could be that girl for you, Riley," she whispered.  
  
The tears didn't last long. She wandered around the house. It was so quiet. Everyone was at school. Riley was gone. She was alone in the house.  
  
Well, not quite alone.  
  
Without consciously planning to go down the stairs, Buffy stood at the door to the basement. Spike lay sprawled on his bed, smoking and staring up at the ceiling. She just watched him for a few minutes, then she asked quietly, "You busy?"  
  
Spike looked up, seemed surprised to see her. "No. Come on in." He sat up, stubbed out his cigarette. "What? No ex-commando shadowing your every move?"  
  
"No." She walked over to the bed; thought about sitting down then decided she was too restless. She began to pace.  
  
"This call business or social, Summers?"  
  
She didn't answer.  
  
"Buffy?" He sounded concerned.  
  
She didn't know why she had come down to the basement. She wasn't sure what she wanted from him. All she knew was that everything had changed and nothing made sense anymore.  
  
"It's not Dawn, is it?" He sounded slightly panicked.  
  
She took pity on him. "No. She's fine. Everyone's fine."  
  
"Except for you from the look of it."  
  
She stopped, turned to meet his eyes. "What would you change about me?" she asked abruptly.  
  
"Sorry?"  
  
"You know, about my personality, my character, what would you change?"  
  
He smiled. "I'm pretty partial to you the way you are, Summers."  
  
She began to pace again. "Oh come on, Spike. You wouldn't change anything? Not one little thing."  
  
"Ok. Yeah. I can think of one thing."  
  
She stopped in front of him. "What is it? What would you change?"  
  
He swallowed hard. She could barely hear him when he replied, "I'd make you want me the way I do you."  
  
She just stared at him.  
  
He looked down.  
  
"That's it? That's all?"  
  
He lit another cigarette. "It's a pretty big thing from where I'm sitting."  
  
She sat down next to him. "You wouldn't want me to be less self-centered? Or more carefree? Maybe I should be less judgmental? Or less focused?"  
  
"You are the way you are." He shook his head. "I suppose they'd be nice changes, but then it wouldn't be you." He chuckled.  
  
"What?"  
  
He smiled. "The Buffy robot. I always knew she wasn't you. No matter how much fun she was."  
  
"Do I want to hear this?" she scowled at him.  
  
"Not what you're thinking. I mean I knew she wasn't the real thing because she smiled too much. For no reason, she'd be beaming and chirpy."  
  
She shrugged. "April was the same way. I guess Warren liked his girls perky."  
  
"Perky. Insipid. It's a fine line."  
  
"So you don't like it when I smile?"  
  
"No, I do." He met her gaze fearlessly. "One of my fantasies is that I make you smile. That little half-smile you get when you don't want to but you can't help it."  
  
She could feel one of those smiles coming on, had to bite her lip to stop it. "You don't think I'm too serious?"  
  
"Let's see, you're not even twenty-one and you've already died twice, lost your mum, and been forced to take on a sister that isn't really related. You have to kill or be killed on a nightly basis. Your last boyfriend abandoned you. And oh yeah, the man you really love, you can never have. Too serious? I'd say you had cause."  
  
She felt her mouth turning up in a half-smile.  
  
"Well, I just got my fantasy." He grinned at her, then looked down.  
  
She sat down next to him. Neither of them said a word. In the silence she could feel herself relaxing for the first time in days.  
  
He put out his cigarette. "I know you'll never love me."  
  
She didn't answer for a few moments. Then she said, "Amy could. Dawn told me that she seems to like you."  
  
He shrugged. "Probably a nice girl and all. But she's not you."  
  
"So...what? You just wait until I change my mind?"  
  
"That'd be a long wait, wouldn't it?" He swung his legs past her and stretched back out on the bed. Closing his eyes, he said bitterly, "Go back to Riley, Buffy. As long as you pretend to love him, he'll be happy."  
  
She watched him. He lay very still. "But I don't love him."  
  
"Well everyone knows that. Hell, he even knows that. But as long as you play nice, he'll suck it up."  
  
"He doesn't like who I am."  
  
He sighed. "Then he's a fool."  
  
She reached out; her hand hovered over his cheek. She could tell he knew it was there. His body seemed to become even more still. "Maybe I'm the fool?" she said softly  
  
"How's that?"  
  
She let her fingers drop slowly, felt his cool skin under her touch. He flinched in surprise. "For wanting this. Maybe I'm the fool for wanting you."  
  
He seemed to tremble. "Don't mock, Buffy. It's cruel."  
  
She turned, knelt on the bed next to him. She didn't know why, but she needed to touch him.  
  
He looked up. "I mean it, Summers. Don't."  
  
She kept her expression neutral. "What are you going to do, Spike?" She bent down, let her hair run over his face. She heard him gasp. "How will you stop me?" She ran her fingers through his hair. It was soft. She leaned in, then felt him flip her over.  
  
His eyes were hard as he held her down. "Damn you. You think this is funny? Maybe you want to tell me I'm beneath you again?"  
  
She recognized the pain in his voice, felt it burn a path inside her. She smiled gently, her regret clear. "I'd say I'm the one who's beneath you at the moment."  
  
His expression lightened. He started to climb off her, frowned when she stopped him. "Buffy, don't. It's not funny anymore. It's not a game."  
  
She pulled him down. "No. It's not a game," she agreed as she lifted her lips to meet his.  
  
He fought her for a second, every muscle straining to get away.  
  
It was suddenly very important that he didn't escape. She whispered, "Spike, don't fight this."  
  
His resistance ended. "Damn you," he cursed.  
  
"Damn us both," she said solemnly. "Feel me." She placed his hand on her forehead. "I'm burning up. Burn with me." And she kissed him.  
  
"Oh god," he moaned. He gave up any semblance of control. His lips were relentless, his hands everywhere as he pulled off her clothing, helped her remove his. He demanded that she prove herself, that she show him this wasn't a game and he wasn't just sport.  
  
So she did.  
  
It was several hours later that they thought to lock the door.  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Tara looked up to see Buffy and Spike come into the kitchen. "Hey."  
  
"Oh hey," Buffy looked guilty. And very flushed.  
  
"Tara," Spike was better at acting normal. "Willow."  
  
The other witch looked up from the paper. "I didn't know you were here, Buffy?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm here."  
  
"I didn't see Riley." Willow looked puzzled.  
  
"I don't think Riley will be hanging around here anymore," Buffy explained.  
  
Tara didn't think the slayer looked too upset about it. And Spike was grinning. Tara was getting definite impressions that their relationship had changed. Drastically. She tried to hide a smile.  
  
The phone rang and Willow got up. "Hello?" The color drained out of her face.  
  
Tara rushed to her. "What's wrong?"  
  
Willow was listening to the person on the phone. "No, she hasn't called here. Ok. Yeah. We can be there, if you want. Well, it might help. All right. Call us back when you hear from Angel."  
  
She hung up the phone. Looked at the others with a panicked expression. "That was Cordelia. Anne just called from the shelter. Amy's disappeared."  
  
TBC 


	8. Payback

Gravity  
  
Chapter 8 - Payback  
  
  
  
It was dark and stuffy. Amy tried to move but her body wouldn't cooperate. Magic, she thought dully.  
  
"Help me," she tried to scream. It came out as a croak.  
  
The door opened. Someone stood in the door; a misshapen body was silhouetted in the light that came pouring in. A voice that Amy had hoped never to hear again said mockingly, "Something I can get you, dearest?"  
  
Amy whimpered.  
  
"Didn't think so." The door slammed.  
  
Amy tried to reach out with her mind to Willow and Tara. The way was blocked, warded against just such an attempt. She tried again anyway, made her mental scream as loud as she could. Nothing. "Help me," she whispered again as she lost consciousness.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
"I feel responsible." Giles was pacing.  
  
"It wasn't your fault," Willow assured him. "It was a good plan. We didn't know she'd disappear."  
  
"Think that deratting spell went bad?" Spike asked. He hated to think of Amy running around LA as a rat.  
  
"No." Willow frowned at him. "It's not that kind of spell."  
  
"She didn't want to go," Tara murmured. "I made her get out of the car."  
  
"It's not your fault either," Willow looked around the room. "We don't know that anything bad has happened. There might be a perfectly good reason for her to have dropped out of sight for a while."  
  
The eyes that met hers were skeptical. She shut up.  
  
Faith looked up. "Can't you do some kind of magic to find her?"  
  
Tara shook her head. "We already tried that. It didn't work."  
  
"But it's not like we had that big a connection to her," Willow replied sharply.  
  
"You kept her as a pet for two years, that's not a connection?" Faith seemed to think it was the witches' fault that they couldn't find Tara.  
  
"Well if you know so much about it, you're welcome to try."  
  
"I'm just saying." Faith held up her hands. "Don't get all defensive, Red."  
  
Willow just glared at her.  
  
Giles' voice was gentle. "Faith does have a point. Shouldn't you be linked by the spell you did to resurrect Buffy? That kind of magic bonds people."  
  
Willow shrugged.  
  
"So what do we do?" Xander looked at Spike, then Giles. "Do we go find her?"  
  
"Not till we hear back from Cordelia." Giles sighed. "Hopefully soon."  
  
"I thought she was vision girl now. How come she's not getting anything on this?" Buffy was annoyed.  
  
Giles shrugged helplessly.  
  
Spike looked over at Buffy. She had chosen to sit across the room from him. Her eyes rose to meet his. She gave him a half smile. He returned the smile then forced his face back into a more serious expression.  
  
The phone rang. Willow was closest. "Hello?" She looked surprised. "Hi. Yes I do know who you are. No, I understand. It's ok." She glanced over at Tara. "Yes, she's here. Hold on." She put her hand over the mouthpiece, said to Tara, "You might want to take this in the kitchen."  
  
Tara got up quickly. Willow hung up as soon as Tara started to talk, then she walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Weird time to take a personal call," Faith observed.  
  
Spike tended to agree with her. Who was on the line? He couldn't remember Tara ever getting any personal calls. Strange...although he'd never thought so until now.  
  
Willow returned from the kitchen, looking even more worried. "This is worse than we thought."  
  
"Who is that on the phone?" Giles asked.  
  
"Just a friend. A witch friend. She said there's been some really weird stuff going on in LA. Someone really powerful is doing some very dark magic."  
  
"And this has to do with Amy how?" Buffy looked from Willow to Tara who had just come back in the room.  
  
Tara nodded at Willow, who asked, "Anyone remember Catherine Madison?"  
  
Giles, Xander, and Buffy looked at Willow in disbelief.  
  
"But she's gone. I saw her disappear." Buffy looked at Giles. "She couldn't be back, could she?"  
  
"I don't see how."  
  
"Tara's source thinks she is. Says whoever is doing the magic has a deep tie to Amy."  
  
"How does your source even know Amy?" Anya studied the witches skeptically.  
  
"She doesn't. But she intercepted a cry for help. Very weak, and meant for Willow and me." Tara looked at Giles. "We didn't sense anything. Whoever has her must be blocking her from calling to us."  
  
Willow nodded. "Which explains why we can't find her either." She shot a 'so there' look at Faith. "Anyway, Tara's source says that she can sense a tie between Amy and the person holding her. A familial tie. I guessed it was Amy's mom."  
  
Giles shook his head. "Catherine Madison back? I shudder to think what kind of frame of mind she must be in."  
  
Buffy stood up. "We beat her once. We can do it again. Let's go."  
  
Willow shook her head. Her voice was apologetic, "You didn't really beat her. Magic did."  
  
"I held the mirror that reflected her spell back." Buffy shot back.  
  
Giles cleared his throat. "I'm afraid Willow is right. Slayers really won't be much use in this case."  
  
Spike looked at Buffy. Felt his own insecurity rise. "Maybe there are other reasons for going to LA besides the case?"  
  
Her head snapped up and her eyes met his. "I just want to help."  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
Xander stood up. "Who cares why she wants to go." He looked over at Buffy, gave her a sheepish smile. "Sorry, Buff. But let's focus on what matters. Willow's at least as powerful as that overgrown cheerleader was, right? With Tara and her source, that's three against one."  
  
"We can do it," Tara agreed. She turned to Willow. "We should go now."  
  
The other witch nodded. She looked at Xander. "Can we borrow your car?"  
  
"I'll drive you," he offered.  
  
Anya shook her head. "No you won't. We have a meeting with the minister tomorrow morning."  
  
"Anya, why does an ex-demon want to get married in a church?" Xander rolled his eyes. "Poor Spike can't come in if you do that." He didn't sound very broken up at the thought.  
  
"You believe that old wives' tale?" Spike chortled. "I'll be there."  
  
"An, maybe we should reconsider having that outdoor wedding. You know, the one in the bright sunshine."  
  
She scowled at him. "We're having an evening wedding. I've told you that some of my demon friends won't come out during the day."  
  
"But then Spike couldn't be there either, sweetheart." He smiled winningly at her.  
  
"I don't care. Give Willow the keys before I get my feelings hurt."  
  
He handed them over with a sigh. "I guess we'll be walking to the church?"  
  
She nodded. "The florist is on the way. I can show you the arrangements I've picked out."  
  
"Oh joy." He looked at Willow. "Give us a ride back to our place?"  
  
"You bet. We just need to get some supplies." She and Tara hurried upstairs.  
  
"So no slayers needed?" Faith stood up.  
  
"It would seem not," Giles agreed.  
  
"Can't say I'm sorry to miss LA. Don't have the best memories of that place."  
  
"Me neither," Buffy muttered.  
  
Dawn stood up, looked at her sister. "Well come on then." When Buffy didn't move, Dawn reached down and pulled her off the couch. "Patrol, remember? You aren't getting out of it anymore." She smiled happily.  
  
Buffy grinned back. "Patrol. Wow. I never thought I'd actually be happy to go slaying again. Let me get my stuff." She hurried upstairs.  
  
Faith and Dawn grabbed their own bags. Dawn looked over to where Spike was still sitting. "You coming or what?"  
  
He didn't move. Dawn's question aside, he wasn't sure if he was needed...or wanted. "I think the three of you have it covered."  
  
Buffy heard this as she came back down the stairs. "Afraid to slay with me?" she asked challengingly.  
  
He smiled. "No." He stood up.  
  
"Good." She turned and walked out the door.  
  
He followed her out.  
  
"Good hunting," Giles called after them.  
  
Buffy hung back a bit, let Spike catch up. "You thought I didn't want you with us?"  
  
He shrugged. "Wasn't sure."  
  
"Why?"  
  
He shrugged again.  
  
"Not your normal witty self, are you, Spike. Something wrong?" Her face suddenly fell. "You're not regretting this afternoon, are you?"  
  
He stopped. "God no."  
  
Her relief was plain.  
  
He leaned in. "I could never regret that. Never. Thought maybe you were having second thoughts, though."  
  
"Did I act like I was?"  
  
"No. But I still worried."  
  
She looked at Faith and Dawn. Their backs were turned. She grabbed Spike, kissed him hard. "Don't look for trouble where there isn't any, ok?" she ordered.  
  
He nodded, followed her happily as she hurried to catch up with the others.  
  
Neither noticed the person watching them from the woods.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
"So your mom sounded nice." Willow looked over at Tara who was concentrating on driving. They were going much too fast but so far hadn't run into any police.  
  
"You'll like her." Tara smiled wistfully. "This isn't exactly how I thought we'd all meet though."  
  
"How did your mom know it was Amy?"  
  
"She didn't. She just sensed that the message was for us. And that the person sending it was really scared."  
  
"Poor Amy."  
  
"What do you think her mom is going to do?"  
  
"Last time she stole her body."  
  
"She mentioned that. I sort of thought she was exaggerating."  
  
Willow shook her head. "Nope. She wanted to be a cheerleader again. She was like the best Sunnydale High ever had. They called her Catherine the Great."  
  
"That's scary."  
  
"She's scary, Tara. Where has she been all this time? And why now, why did she come out now?"  
  
"We'll be there soon, sweetheart. Hopefully my mom will know." Tara reached over and took Willow's hand in hers.  
  
Willow thanked her goddesses yet again that she had managed to steal Tara back from Glory. Her lover was too good to be lost that way. "I love you, Tara."  
  
Tara squeezed her hand in reply. They were quiet the rest of the way to LA.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
Light spilled into Amy's prison. A harsh voice spoke several words. Amy could feel control of her body returning.  
  
"Get up."  
  
She staggered to her feet, trying to make legs and arms that had fallen asleep mind her. She stepped out of her prison and looked around. She was in what looked like an apartment. Her prison was a closet. The room she was in connected to a kitchen. Another door led into what seemed to be a bedroom. There were no windows.  
  
"Sit down."  
  
She sat in a straight chair by a wooden table and turned to look at her captor. A gasp of horror escaped her. She turned away.  
  
"Ugly, aren't I?" Her mother pulled her face back, forced her to look at her. Her flesh looked as if it had been melted and reattached to her body. Her features were lumpy and not in the places they should be. She was hideous. "This is your fault. All your fault."  
  
"I didn't have anything to do with it. You tried to kill me and my friends."  
  
"Your friends?" Catherine laughed. "Your friends were responsible for the explosion that made me look like this."  
  
Amy shook her head. "I don't understand."  
  
"God, you are as pathetic as you ever were. Do you know where I went to after that Summers bitch got in the way of my spell?"  
  
Amy shook her head.  
  
"The same place I was going to send you. Into my statue, my award."  
  
Amy gasped in understanding.  
  
"That's right. I had to watch you and the others every day. Then you disappeared. I wondered about that. Thought maybe your father had taken you away." Catherine began to pace. "So I watched the others. Prayed to every dark god I knew that I would be set free. And I got my wish. Did they tell you what happened to the school?"  
  
Amy nodded.  
  
"I thought I was destined to be locked in that statue until someone reversed the spell. I didn't know that if the prison is destroyed, the prisoner goes free." She touched her face. "Only I had to wait till it was destroyed. Metal takes a long time to melt, Amy."  
  
Amy shuddered.  
  
"I was weak but I managed to crawl out of the wreckage before anyone saw me. Found some vampires who brought me here. I've been gaining my strength back since then." She sat down opposite her daughter. "I looked for you as soon as I was strong enough to scry. Saw that you'd gone and trapped yourself in that rat form. Stupid girl. Can't even do a simple spell like that right?"  
  
"I panicked," Amy tried to defend herself.  
  
"You blew it. Just like you screw up everything. I decided to leave you there till I was stronger. But your friends saved me the trouble. They finally figured out the counterspell. And then you came here, to LA, right to me. I couldn't believe my fortune."  
  
"What do you want?" Amy tried not to look at her mother.  
  
"What do I want? What do you think I want?" Catherine grabbed Amy's chin, yanked her face up. "Look at this body. Look at yours. What could I possibly want with you? I think you'll look good in this husk, darling. I know I'll look good in your skin."  
  
Amy sobbed in terror.  
  
"Oh don't worry, Amy. It'll only hurt...forever." She smiled and the expression was purest evil.  
  
Amy tried to rise but her mother's eyes held her captive. "Be still," she ordered.  
  
Amy felt her body again go to sleep. "Don't do this. Please?"  
  
"Don't do this? Too late for that, dear. It's already beginning. Don't you smell the herbs steaming? In twenty-four hours you'll be wearing this grotesque body."  
  
"My friends will help me."  
  
Catherine laughed. "Your friends left you at that shelter all alone. Just how much effort do you think they are going to put out on your behalf? They'll probably be happy that you're gone."  
  
"No, they'll come," Amy argued. But deep down she wasn't sure that they would. "Help me," she thought desperately, suddenly unsure that there was anyone that cared enough to even hear her.  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
"Tara, who's your friend?" The young man looked suspicious.  
  
"The reason I can't go out with you, Colin," Tara teased the guard.  
  
"No kidding? Ok, put up your dukes!" He pretended to spar with Willow.  
  
She drew her hand back as if preparing to cast a spell.  
  
"Whoa there, Witchling," he laughed. He turned to Tara as he keyed in the combination to the door. "Your mom's waiting for you in the conjuring room."  
  
"Thanks." She led Willow through the warehouse.  
  
"He seemed pretty mellow."  
  
Tara smiled, remembering how Colin had been one of her first real friends. His easy goodwill had brought her out of the shell that she had erected to protect herself from her family. "Our kind tends to be light-hearted. At least until they need to be something else. Then we can fight."  
  
"Your kind." Willow shook her head. "I still wish you had trusted me with the truth."  
  
"I know." They walked down the stairs. Tara waved at the demons sitting around the communal dinner table. She said several words in her mother's language and a doorway appeared in the wall. They walked through it together. The smell of incense got stronger as they approached an ornately carved door. Tara frowned. "Things must be bad. She's already started working."  
  
Tara knocked three times on the door. Her mother opened it and let them in. Once they had crossed the threshold, she closed the door. "Move toward the middle," she instructed, as she pulled out her athame and rapidly drew a half circle across the door. Blue-green light flared as the half circle joined a bigger circle, completely enclosing them. The woman turned and smiled. "You must be Willow."  
  
"Mrs. Maclay."  
  
"Call me Laurel." She gave Tara a quick hug. "Darling."  
  
"Hi, Mom."  
  
Laurel walked to the altar. "This isn't the way I envisioned us meeting."  
  
"That's because you didn't envision us meeting at all," Willow answered calmly.  
  
"You're right about that," Laurel's smile was genuine. "And not afraid to speak your mind, are you? I can see why Tara loves you." She motioned the girls to the altar. "I've set up a scrying spell. You two can't find the girl, but no one is expecting me to look for her. So let's see what I can find." She pulled a silk cloth off a blackened mirror. Staring intently into it, she began to intone a ritual. "Doerlg euogh ratilssss." The last bit came out as a true hiss as her face morphed into that of a snake.  
  
Tara looked to see Willow's reaction to her mother's transformation. The other witch didn't seem phased, just looked on in curiosity. Then an image began to form in the mirror. They could see Amy as she sat rigidly in a chair. Her voice suddenly rang out. "Help me!"  
  
"Yes, child. Yes, we plan to." Laurel's voice was soft but full of power.  
  
Suddenly someone else was in the picture. Willow gasped as what was left of Catherine Madison peered up at them.  
  
"She can't see us," Tara assured her.  
  
"But she can sense us." Laurel began to chant again. "Cltaith firfsss. Morlkwag!" She yelled the last and the mirror zoomed out to show a neighborhood.  
  
Tara gasped. "That's here. Just down the street. We used to play ball behind that building."  
  
"I guess if you want to stay hidden, you hang where the other people hiding out are." Willow studied the building. "No windows."  
  
"Just the one door," Laurel agreed.  
  
"No sneaking up on her." Tara whispered as the image faded out. "So what now?"  
  
Willow looked down. "We could ask Angel for help."  
  
Laurel shook her head. "Does he have magic?"  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
"Then we do it alone. The three of us. We can overpower her."  
  
Willow suddenly looked uncertain. "I'm not so good under pressure."  
  
Tara took her hand. "Yes you are. It's just before that you spaz." She grinned at her girlfriend.  
  
"Like now?"  
  
Tara nodded. Then she looked at her mother. "Why are you doing this? All this time hiding, why come out now?"  
  
Laurel's expression was hard. "Because once she finishes with her own daughter, she intends to come after the people that stopped her before. That means Willow, and you too, Tara, if she thinks it will hurt Willow. I swore that I'd never let anyone harm you again. And I meant it." She turned back to the altar. "We have to prepare. What does she want from Amy?"  
  
Willow made a face. "Her body. It's what she's always wanted. Now even more. She looked horrible."  
  
"What happened to her?" Tara's voice was pained.  
  
Willow shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe however she got back here wasn't really meant to be a door? She looked all burnt or something."  
  
Laurel looked up. "I have heard of a sorceress that's been hiring out for dark acts of magic. She's known on the street as Slag." Laurel shook her head in horror. "Now we know why." She looked at Willow. "Your vampire friend may be interested to know that she has been working for that law firm he has gone up against."  
  
Willow nodded. "I'll tell him."  
  
Laurel's face set. "Of course, it will probably be a moot point."  
  
At their looks of confusion, she continued, "She won't give up. I can feel her desperation. This won't end until she has that girl's body. Or until she's dead."  
  
"What if she switches bodies before we can stop her?"  
  
"You know the answer to that, Tara. She'll kill Amy as soon as she's got her body." Laurel's jaw set. "And if that happens, then we will kill her."  
  
"You're so sure we'll win?" Willow asked quietly.  
  
Laurel gave her a strange smile. "Of course we will. We have you on our side."  
  
---------------------------  
  
Spike had a twitchy feeling. Had been feeling strange all through a fairly uneventful patrol. He looked around again. Nothing looked out of place but that didn't stop him from frowning.  
  
"What's up with you?" Faith looked into the woods he was inspecting. "Is something there?"  
  
He shook his head. "I'm just spooked tonight."  
  
Faith smiled. "Maybe having B along has you all weird."  
  
"Must be." He looked away.  
  
"Or maybe it's because you smell like that expensive perfume she likes so much."  
  
"Guess I got too close when we were sparring." Spike kept his voice even.  
  
"Is that what they're calling it now?" She laughed huskily. "Don't worry, I'm not going to say anything. Gotta hand it to you though. Never thought you'd get her."  
  
He gave up on the pretense. "Tricky thing's keeping her."  
  
Faith just nodded. "Sure seems like." She glanced up to where Buffy and Dawn were laughing. "She's in a great mood. If this is what you do for her, keep it up." She grinned wickedly.  
  
He grinned back. "You're trouble."  
  
"Don't I know it." She hurried to catch up with the others.  
  
Spike turned to the woods again. "I know you're out there. I just don't know who you are."  
  
Nothing answered. Not that he'd thought it would. He followed the slayers up the front steps of Buffy's house.  
  
"Something up?" Buffy asked as he walked inside.  
  
"Just a funny feeling."  
  
"You too?" Dawn said. "Like the space between your shoulder blades is all itchy?"  
  
Spike nodded.  
  
Faith looked at Buffy who just shrugged. "No itches here." Fiath looked over to where Giles sat doing his accounts. "Well not that kind of itch anyway."  
  
"Please take her home, Giles," Buffy called.  
  
Her watcher looked up and pushed up his glasses. "What? Oh yes, quite." He gathered up his things. "Much activity tonight?"  
  
"Not much." Buffy shrugged. "Not that I'm complaining. I think I'm out of shape."  
  
"We'll get you back and quick. Like tomorrow when we all start training together." Faith grinned at Dawn.  
  
"Yeah, like I've been waiting all my life to work out with you two." She watched Faith and Giles walk to his car. "See ya," she called.  
  
Dawn ran into the kitchen. "I'm so hungry."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes at Spike. "I'll be down when she's asleep, ok?"  
  
He nodded. "I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"See that you don't," she said sternly.  
  
He just grinned as he headed for the basement. He could hear the sisters upstairs arguing over something. It was a good sound. He threw his coat over his chair and stretched out on the bed. He lit a cigarette and blew smoke rings up at the ceiling.  
  
He knew Buffy would be a while. It always took Dawn time to settle down after patrol. He let his mind work on whatever had been bothering him outside. He had the feeling that someone or something had been watching them as they patrolled. But in his experience there weren't too many things could trail a vampire and three slayers and not get caught. Whatever this was, it was good. But they were better. Tomorrow night, they'd see who trailed whom.  
  
There was more arguing from upstairs. He strained and realized Buffy was trying to get her sister to go to sleep way before Dawn was ready. "Eager, are you?" he said with a laugh. He was getting antsy himself. He understood Buffy's desire to keep this a secret for now, but he wasn't sure he was going to like all this waiting.  
  
He heard the sisters go upstairs. He waited, then finally he sensed Buffy creeping down the stairs. Feeling mischievous, Spike got up and hid. As Buffy walked in and quietly closed the door, he reached around her neck and pulled her back to him.  
  
She elbowed him hard in the side. He fell back and saw her turn and kick out. He grabbed her leg, pulling her off balance. She landed hard on the cement floor. Without a word she kicked at his leg, knocking him over. He landed just as hard next to her.  
  
"Well that was fun. Is this your idea of foreplay, Spike?" Her eyes were sparkling.  
  
He grinned and pulled her to him. "I think you know better than that." He kissed her, felt her respond to him fiercely. "I like that," he said huskily as she got up and pulled him to his feet.  
  
"You do?" She pulled him to her for another kiss.  
  
Spike felt himself losing control. She didn't have to do anything and he was drowning in her. He stroked her hair. "Want you so much."  
  
"I'm beginning to get that." She removed his clothes, nuzzled him. Her lips on his flesh made him shiver. He decided she was over dressed, took steps to rectify that.  
  
"If it's any consolation," she moaned as he pushed her down to the bed, "the feeling's very mutual."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"That makes me feel much, much better."  
  
"Thought it might." She pulled him to her.  
  
They didn't say much for quite a while. Just busied themselves with getting reacquainted with each other's bodies and what gave them pleasure. A great deal of pleasure.  
  
"We fit." Buffy's voice was tranquil as she snuggled closer to Spike.  
  
He knew what she meant. Their bodies seemed made for each other. He ran his fingers lightly down her back.  
  
She shivered and nuzzled his neck.  
  
He smiled at her reaction. "Man could get used to this, Buffy."  
  
"So could a woman." She pulled away, studied his face.  
  
"What?" He watched her expression become very serious. "You want to ask me something?"  
  
She nodded. "I was just wondering...how many lovers it takes to get that good?"  
  
He laughed. "Less than you've had, I'd think."  
  
She punched him softly. "No way."  
  
"Who do you think I was out shagging?"  
  
"Well Looney Toons for one."  
  
"Yeah, ok. Dru. For most of my vampire life, I might add."  
  
"You didn't cheat on her?"  
  
"Why would I cheat on her?"  
  
Buffy narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Then there was bimbo Barbie."  
  
"Harmony, right." He smiled. "That's two. You make three."  
  
"No."  
  
"You don't make three?" He grinned. "You're just mad because you've had more than I have."  
  
"One more. Big deal."  
  
"And if I hadn't caught that wanker dumping you that day you could claim nothing happened and we were tied."  
  
"You were really not nice to me then."  
  
"I was really not nice to anyone. Bad period."  
  
She snuggled in. He could barely hear her as she said, "It was two more."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Dracula. You forgot him. I know everyone pretty much decided that he was something the monks threw at us to get my blood to make Dawn, but I'm pretty sure I had sex with him."  
  
Spike shook his head. "Doesn't count. He wasn't real. And if you don't have to count him, then I don't have to count the Buffy robot."  
  
"How come? She exists."  
  
"Yeah, but she's not real. Just a machine. You don't really to start counting things with motors, do you?"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," she answered primly.  
  
"Of course not."  
  
She nodded. "Ok you don't have to count her." She turned over so she could look at him. "There was nobody before you became a vampire? I mean, you were all bad and stuff right?"  
  
"I may have exaggerated the level of my badness."  
  
"By how much?"  
  
He reached for his cigarettes.  
  
"Oh-oh, you're nervous. You always do that when you're nervous."  
  
He lit his cigarette. Offered it to her.  
  
"As if. And don't try to distract me. What were you like before you were turned? Really?"  
  
"Really?" Spike took a deep breath. "I was a failed poet, and a namby- pamby mother's boy."  
  
She started to giggle. "You?"  
  
"Yes." He looked at the ceiling.  
  
"But William the Bloody?"  
  
"The Bloody Awful Poet." He shook his head. "I really don't like to think about it."  
  
She frowned. "So if that's how you were, what made you bad? Was it the demon? "  
  
"What demon?"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "The one that takes over when you become a vampire."  
  
"There is no demon, Buffy. That's a tale the watchers tell you so you feel better about killing us."  
  
She stared at him in confusion.  
  
"Humans don't need a demon to be evil. You should know that by now. It's enough to become a vampire. It makes you strong, frees up all those hormones and urges that people don't normally talk about much less act on."  
  
"So there's no demon?"  
  
He shook his head. "Think about Faith. Did she need a demon to go evil? Or Harmony. Even better example."  
  
"Harmony's an idiot."  
  
"Exactly. What are the odds she'd get saddled with an idiot demon on top of being completely addled already? Pretty slim. The answer is that Harmony stayed Harmony. And because of that, she didn't change all that much."  
  
"Still clueless and basically a weak-willed moron?"  
  
"Now you're getting it. Most of us, when we become a vampire, we can be whatever we want. Can fight back against all the things people mocked us for in the past. Suddenly we're a thing to be feared and that's a heady brew, my lovely slayer. But that's not what made me the way I am."  
  
"What did then?"  
  
"Not what. Who."  
  
"Drusilla?"  
  
He smiled fondly. "No, not Dru. She picked me because she wanted something soft, something that would love her."  
  
"Angel."  
  
"Angelus," he corrected gently. "Bugger beat the crap out of me teaching me to be mean, to be hard." Spike shook his head. "And Darla was just as bad. In her own way, she was even crueler to me. But once I came around, began to show them that I was bad, that I could be dangerous, they eased up. Eventually we became a family."  
  
Buffy didn't say anything.  
  
He looked at her, noticed her eyes were haunted. "You met Angelus. You saw what he was capable of. How would you like to be a newborn in his hands?"  
  
"But he's different now. He has a soul."  
  
"Yeah but whose?" Spike laughed. "Sure wasn't his. That boy was nothing but a lay about from the time he was small. Can't see the Liam I heard about sitting around all brooding and gloomy just cuz he got his soul back. More likely drunk in a pub with a couple of whores on his lap."  
  
"It's not his soul?"  
  
"Well, I don't think so. But I do have a bit of an axe to grind with him."  
  
"Then whose soul is it?"  
  
"How the hell should I know?" Spike felt his good mood evaporating. "Do you really want to talk about Angel?"  
  
She shook her head. "I really don't." She sounded testy too.  
  
"I'm sorry, love. Shouldn't have brought him up." He pushed the hair off her face. "Let's talk about something less irritating. Like me maybe?" He nibbled on her ear.  
  
She was tense, then finally she giggled. "Or me."  
  
"Another good subject." He moved down her neck. "Or you and me. Together. Very close."  
  
She let him push her onto her back. "How close?"  
  
"Very, very close." He kissed her.  
  
"Mmm. Show me?"  
  
"With pleasure," Spike murmured as he proceeded to do just that. Repeatedly.  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
Willow felt as if she were climbing up a long tunnel. She opened her eyes slowly, trying to remember where she was. Then she smelled the incense and recalled the spell they had done last night to prepare for this morning's fight. Tara's mother had led them deep into a trance. That had been hours ago. Willow stretched gingerly, expecting to feel stiff. Her body moved with ease. She felt wonderful.  
  
"It's quite effective." Laurel's voice was soft. Willow glanced at her, then at Tara, still deep in trance.  
  
"It is. How did you do that?"  
  
"It's a centering technique. You don't use those?" Laurel didn't seem to expect an answer. She smiled knowingly. "Not that I'm criticizing. You've come a long way in a very short time."  
  
"You can sense that?"  
  
Laurel laughed softly. "No. Tara told me."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I can sense other things though." Her look turned serious. "Be careful, Willow."  
  
"Oh I'm totally careful." Willow tried to give her a solid smile, knew she failed utterly. "Well after I do something really stupid, then I think of all the ways I could have been more careful."  
  
Tara's mother nodded. "You need to think first, then act. You've been lucky so far."  
  
"But so much of it is instinct. I mean I study the spells, but then the time comes and I just know how to do it, you know?"  
  
"I do. That kind of talent is dangerous. Makes you careless. Learn to center. It doesn't need to take all night. I can teach you if you wish. When this is over."  
  
Willow looked at the other woman. Realized that she hadn't even noticed when her features became human again. "Ok."  
  
Tara started to stir. She opened her eyes, smiled a dreamy smile. "I was with Inanna."  
  
Willow smiled. "Ooh, I was too. It was like in that myth. Where she goes to the underworld to take on Erishkigal?"  
  
Tara looked down, "We were just having pancakes."  
  
Willow looked at Laurel, who shrugged and replied, "Tara has a rather informal relationship with her goddesses."  
  
"She gets breakfast and I get high ritual. Hardly seems fair."  
  
Laurel smiled. "To each what she needs, according to her gifts."  
  
"So is the providence of the goddess. I know. I'm just hungry and divine pancakes sound really tasty."  
  
"They weren't very good," Tara rushed to assure her.  
  
"Liar," Willow smiled at her. "But thanks."  
  
Tara grinned.  
  
Laurel rose in one sinuous movement that Willow instantly envied. "Can you teach me that?"  
  
The woman looked at her in amusement, "It helps to be a snake demon."  
  
"Yeah, I can see where that would come in handy." Willow watched as Tara's mother dipped her finger into some oil that had been warming over a candle. She touched it to Tara's brow, then her throat, then moved to anoint Willow.  
  
"Will you do me?" she asked Willow.  
  
Without a word, Willow stood up and walked to the altar, dipping her finger into the oil. It was pleasantly warm and smelled of myrrh and geranium. She touched it to Laurel's forehead and throat.  
  
"Did you bring your athame?"  
  
Willow nodded and walked over to the bag she had set off to the side of the circle. She dug out Tara's dagger first, handed it to her. The she pulled her own free of the bag. She felt a familiar tingle when she touched it.  
  
"Hold it over the flames."  
  
The witches consecrated their knives, then Laurel handed them small bags on silken cords. "For protection."  
  
Willow smelled it, identified several herbs she knew. She slipped it over her head, tucked it inside her shirt. Her mouth suddenly went dry. They were really doing this. She was going into battle. No slayer to protect her. No watcher to tell her the hundred ways the spell could go wrong. This was the real thing.  
  
"You'll be fine," Tara whispered.  
  
Willow only nodded. "This is that time I spaz."  
  
Laurel opened the circle and they followed her out the door. As they climbed the stairs to the surface, Willow ran through the things the older witch had told them. The best ways to deflect the spells that Catherine was sure to throw at them. The most effective means to bind her power. She tried to focus on those things, not think about how nervous she was. For herself. And for Tara.  
  
The sunlight was a shock. She blinked, trying to get used to the bright light. They needed the daylight. The spell Catherine was working was complex and dark. It would reach full power only after the sun had set. Now, in full day, the magic was gaining strength but still far from ready to use. They had to move now. While Amy was still herself.  
  
Willow heard a noise behind them. Saw a group of Laurel's friends shadowing them.  
  
Laurel caught her glance. "They aren't as strong as we are. But together they can bring down that building. Obliterate whatever's inside. If we fail."  
  
Willow refused to think about that. She grabbed Tara's hand, squeezed it hard. "We won't fail," she said firmly.  
  
Laurel smiled at her approvingly. "No. I don't think we will."  
  
------------------------------  
  
Spike woke with a jerk. "Buffy?"  
  
She was in his arms, but she wasn't moving. He shook her. "Buffy?"  
  
"She's asleep."  
  
Spike turned quickly. Riley stepped out of the shadows. He held a tranquilizer gun. "I shot her."  
  
"You bastard." Spike went for him, then fell over in pain.  
  
"That pesky chip again. Man that must suck." Riley looked at him. "You might want to get dressed." He walked by Spike and covered Buffy back up, touching her face tenderly. "Don't want her catching cold while she sleeps, which should be for a good long while as long as this thing is working." He covered the tranquilizer dart up with her hair.  
  
Spike pulled on his jeans. "What do you want?"  
  
Riley smiled in a way that made Spike's blood run cold.  
  
"If you hurt her, I swear I'll-"  
  
"Why would I want to hurt her? I love her. You on the other hand." Riley's pulled out a taser and held it to the vampire's arm.  
  
Spike tried to scream but couldn't do more than moan. A second later he quit struggling, his nerves screaming from the shock he'd been given.  
  
Riley leaned in close. "I told you. If you touched her...I'd kill you for real. But I've had a better idea. Let me tell you about it on the way." He picked up a blanket, then slung Spike over his shoulder in a fireman's carry.  
  
Spike lost consciousness on the way out the door. The last thing he saw was Buffy sleeping peacefully.  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
Dawn sat up in bed. Something was terribly wrong. She heard a noise in the living room, then the sound of the door opening. She rushed downstairs and out the front door in time to see Riley dump a blanket-covered Spike into his truck.  
  
"Let him go." She started across the lawn.  
  
He pulled out a stake. "You want him to die?"  
  
She stopped. "Riley, what are you doing?"  
  
"You don't know?" He shrugged. "Ask your sister." His eyes never leaving her, he reached in and turned on the ignition. Then he crawled carefully over Spike, closing the door behind him.  
  
She could tell he still held the stake. She didn't know what to do. "Spike," she whispered helplessly.  
  
Riley drove away fast. Dawn considered running after him, realized she needed to find Buffy. She ran upstairs. Buffy's bed hadn't been slept in. She thought about what Riley had said. Her eyes widened. She tore down to the basement. "Buffy, wake up!" She slapped her sister. "Damn you."  
  
Buffy didn't move. Dawn let her drop, ran up to the kitchen and hit the speed dial for Giles. The watcher answered groggily. "I need Faith," Dawn yelled. "Riley's taken Spike and I can't wake Buffy up and I don't know what to do."  
  
Giles voice was calm. "We'll be right there, Dawn. Just hold on."  
  
Dawn hung up the phone and hugged her arms around her. She sniffed back tears. "I'm not a baby," she said. She sank down to the floor. Why hadn't she stopped Riley? Buffy would have. She got up, ran back downstairs. Tried again to wake her sister up. She heard the others come in.  
  
"Damn it, where is she?" Faith's voice held a note of panic.  
  
"I'm down here," Dawn shouted.  
  
Giles and Faith barreled into the room. Giles' eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hair as he took in an obviously naked Buffy in Spike's bed.  
  
"Shit." Faith reached for something that was sticking out from under Buffy's hair. She pulled, held up a dart. "Tranquilizer." She looked at Giles. "Get me some cold water."  
  
He nodded and ran upstairs.  
  
She looked at Dawn. "Find her shirt. Quick, before he comes back."  
  
Dawn grabbed it and tossed it to Faith, who hurriedly dressed Buffy.  
  
"Decent from the waist up anyway." Faith slapped Buffy gently, then a bit harder. Nothing.  
  
Giles came back in with a large bowl of water.  
  
Faith took it, smiling grimly. "She is going to be wicked pissed at me for this." She dumped the bowl of water over the other slayer.  
  
Buffy slapped out at her. Faith tried to hold her down. Dawn rushed to help. Faith turned to Giles. "We'll bring her up once she's, you know, more presentable."  
  
Giles looked at the clothing littering the floor and nodded suddenly. "Yes. Quite." He hurried back upstairs.  
  
"Damn it, what is wrong with you two?" Buffy was furious. "Is this some stupid slayer sorority initiation because if it is, I'm not pledging."  
  
Faith held up the dart.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Your neck sore?"  
  
Buffy nodded then gasped. "Spike?"  
  
"Riley took him. I couldn't stop him." Dawn looked at Faith.  
  
"It's ok. You did the right thing. We'll get him back."  
  
Faith sounded so sure that Dawn almost believed her.  
  
Buffy stood up. Then sat back down and pulled the covers up. "Could I have the rest of my clothes please?" She shivered.  
  
"Grab Spike's shirt too," Faith told Dawn. She turned back to Buffy, "Take that off, it's all wet."  
  
Buffy did as she said. She pulled the sheet up around herself until they handed over her clothes. She dressed in a hurry, while they turned their backs. "Riley took Spike? Why would he do that?"  
  
Dawn blew up, "Well duh. You're like boinking him. And Riley's like totally jealous ex-boyfriend stalker guy. If he kills him..."  
  
"He would have killed him here if that's what he wanted to do," Faith looked at Dawn. "But he took him. Why?"  
  
Buffy pushed past them. "I think I know. And this is so not good."  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
Tara looked at her mother, waiting for her signal. At the woman's nod, Tara began to mentally seek the wards around the building. Willow knew she was looking for the anchor. She thought it was near the front door, where the shield felt the strongest. Tara closed her eyes, concentrated. Willow put her hands on her shoulders, tried to strengthen her.  
  
"Powers be revealed," Tara ordered.  
  
A black web surrounded the building. The wards were definitely of the evil variety.  
  
"This is bad," Willow whispered.  
  
Laurel leaned in. "If you insist on fighting evil with evil then yes this is bad."  
  
Willow looked at her uncertainly.  
  
"You can't overpower everything, Willow." Laurel moved close to the wards. She began to sing softly.  
  
Tara joined in. The melody was beautiful. It was a hymn to Ishtar. As they watched, golden stars began to swirl in front of them, then joined together to create a little galaxy. Then a network of galaxies. Willow began to sing. The stars multiplied. Laurel held out her hands and the stars surrounded her. "Burn away that which is unclean," she said firmly.  
  
The stars flowed to the web. Wherever they landed the black strands fizzled and disappeared. The wards began to fall.  
  
Tara laughed.  
  
Laurel smiled serenely at Willow. "Not everything has to be such a production, dear."  
  
The door flew open. Catherine Madison stood in front of them, her eyes black, her voice enraged. "You will die!"  
  
Without conscious thought, Willow reached back, felt Tara's hand join hers. Willow could feel her power triple when Tara and her mother joined hands.  
  
Laurel leaned in, laying her hand on Willow's shoulder, and whispered, "Now would be a good time for your brand of magic, Willow."  
  
Willow smiled. She could feel her knife humming against her leg. Without thought she drew it from its sheath, pointed it at Catherine. Energy shot out from it.  
  
Amy's mother flew backwards, into the wall. Her eyes narrowed.  
  
Willow kept the dagger pointed at her. "Give us Amy."  
  
"I have need of the girl." Catherine's eyes darkened, her hand snapped out. "Dark ones, take them."  
  
Willow heard Laurel and Tara begin the song again. The stars reappeared in front of them just as the bolt of power from Catherine's hand flew at Willow. The stars absorbed all of it.  
  
"Now, Willow." Laurel's intent was clear, no holding back. Willow opened herself up to Tara and her mother, felt their power pour into her, sensed her own strength rising above it. She felt as if she were cloaked in magic. "Give us Amy," she demanded one more time.  
  
"No!" Catherine began to chant a ritual, black streams poured from her hand.  
  
"Then go to the gods you serve," Willow said calmly. She resheathed the athame, and lifted her hand. She let fly a ray of pure power. It caught Catherine, causing her to fall. The energy surrounded her, began to compress. The woman screamed as she was bound by the power. Then it turned black as her own unthrown weapon began to burn her. Catherine screamed again, just before she disappeared.  
  
Willow turned to Laurel. The woman smiled in approval. "Well done, daughter."  
  
Willow felt tears well. Daughter. It meant a lot. She hugged the older witch.  
  
Tara ran to the door. Amy was just walking out. "What happened? All of a sudden I could move again." She looked around, "Is she gone?"  
  
Willow nodded. "She's gone."  
  
Amy collapsed into Tara's arms. "I'm sorry. I was just so scared."  
  
Laurel took over. She wrapped the girl in her arms and walked her away from the building. "I think it's time you went home, don't you?"  
  
Amy nodded tearfully. "I miss my dad."  
  
"Of course you do, dear." Laurel beckoned to one of the other demons. He came quickly. "Take her back to the shelter. Don't leave till you see her father show up." She looked at Amy. "Think of him, dear."  
  
Amy concentrated and the demon's eyes unfocused for a moment, then he nodded. "I see him. I won't leave her till she's safe."  
  
Willow hugged Amy. "Everything's all right now."  
  
Amy smiled. "You came for me."  
  
Tara nodded. "Of course we did. We're friends." She smiled shyly. "We're family."  
  
Amy hugged her too, then got in the car the demon had driven up. "I'll see you when I get back?"  
  
"You betcha," Willow assured her. She took several steps toward Tara, then staggered.  
  
Laurel caught her. "Ok then. Time for you to rest."  
  
They helped her back to the building, got her settled on the couch in Laurel's apartment. "Get her some food, dear. She didn't have pancakes, remember?"  
  
Tara grinned and ran out.  
  
Willow watched Laurel as she made a cool compress and laid it on her forehead. Sighing happily, she leaned back. Her eyes met those of the older woman's. They were wary. Willow had a sudden insight into the cause for the woman's concern. "You're afraid that I'm evil, aren't you?"  
  
Laurel pursed her lips. "I think you stand on the precipice, my dear. Your intentions are good, but your methods are suspect."  
  
Willow frowned. "I'd never hurt Tara."  
  
"I know that." Laurel leaned in, adjusted the compress. "Because if you did, I'd kill you."  
  
Willow nodded. "I know. But I wouldn't hurt her. I love her."  
  
Laurel sat back. "I know that. I sensed only love for her in you when we joined powers. But you must be careful. Magic is dangerous. It twists and turns so easily that it's hard to see that the path has become evil until you're too far down it to turn back."  
  
"I'll be careful. You can help me?"  
  
Tara came in with some soup. "Help you with what?"  
  
"With centering." Willow smiled easily at her lover. "Your mom thinks I'm kind of weak on that."  
  
"I've told you that." Tara helped Willow sit up, unaware that her girlfriend and her mother were exchanging a cautious glance of perfect understanding.  
  
---------------------------------  
  
Spike could hear voices behind him. He opened his eyes, then closed them again quickly as bright light nearly blinded him. He opened his lids more slowly, letting his eyes adjust.  
  
"Our patient is awake, Doc." Riley's voice was directly above him. "How you feeling, Spike? You comfortable?"  
  
Spike realized he was bound securely, even his head was held tightly to the cold metal table he was lying on. "Wouldn't have figured you for the S&M type, Finn."  
  
Riley snickered. "Like you'd be anybody's dream date."  
  
"Buffy might disagree with that." Spike couldn't resist the shot. He wasn't surprised when Riley backhanded him.  
  
"You don't say her name." Riley moved around the table.  
  
"I get to say it more than you do these days. Must bother you a whole lot. Me and her. Together."  
  
"I said shut up."  
  
Spike smirked. "Or what?"  
  
"Or I make you shut up." Riley held up some duct tape.  
  
Spike decided to stop taunting his captor. He looked around. "Where are we?"  
  
"I call this an operating room. Other people might call it a cave. You remember it, surely? Adam used it. Your buddy Adam. Buffy should have staked you after that betrayal. You got too many chances from her, Spike. That's gonna end now."  
  
Spike felt a pinch on the top of his head, then a sharp pain. "Hey!"  
  
"Just some anesthetic. Not that I think you deserve it. But the doc insists it's necessary."  
  
A familiar-looking man walked around the table. "It'll just be a moment for the area to become numb." He looked at Spike. "Hello again."  
  
"You're that doctor that didn't take my chip out." He looked at Riley. "Are you insane? This hack can't do the operation."  
  
"Dr. Overheiser is a very good surgeon. This just happens to be a very tricky procedure." Riley leaned in, smiled dangerously. "See if he screws up, you're left a vegetable. Or possibly just a crazed animal. I'm hoping for the latter actually."  
  
Spike thrashed. Or tried to. The straps were too tight to let him do much. "This is your plan? This is the stupidest thing you could do."  
  
Riley shook his head. "Afraid I don't see it that way."  
  
Overheiser moved back to the end of the table. "He's ready. Are you sure about this?"  
  
Riley nodded. He smiled nastily. "I'm going to give you your life back, Spike. Not that you'll get much time to enjoy it. Don't imagine Buffy is going to be real happy to see William the Bloody back. She still seems bitter about that whole Angel turning evil thing. I'm thinking this is going to affect her the same way. Make her realize that vampires just do not make good boyfriends." He laughed and tore off a piece of duct tape.  
  
"If you understood Buffy half as well as I do, you'd know this plan is never going to work-" His words were cut off as Riley slapped the tape over his mouth.  
  
"I'm suddenly real tired of listening to you bump your gums, Spike. You have a good operation." He patted him on the shoulder companionably, then turned to Overheiser. "I'll be outside. Have a phone call to make. You can go as soon as you're done."  
  
Spike couldn't do anything but stare at the ceiling as Overheiser worked. Despite his bravado, he was afraid. Very afraid.  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Willow and Tara drove up to the house and parked.  
  
"Are you tired?" Tara looked at Willow with concern. "You've been really quiet."  
  
"Just thinking about what your mom taught me before we left."  
  
"Are you going to tell the others about her?"  
  
Willow shook her head. "Nope. She was just a friend of yours. A really powerful witch friend." She smiled at her girlfriend. "I'll protect her secret, I promise."  
  
Tara leaned over and kissed her. "I love you so much."  
  
Willow kissed her back. "I bet everyone is out slaying. I know a bedroom that's just crying to be used."  
  
Willow nodded and they hurried up the steps and through the door. Four pairs of eyes turned to them.  
  
"No patrol?" Willow asked guiltily.  
  
Tara saw that Dawn had been crying. "What's happened?" Then she realized there was someone missing.  
  
Willow arrived at the same conclusion. "Spike?"  
  
Giles stood up. "Riley took him."  
  
"Riley took Spike?" Willow was very confused. "Took him where?"  
  
Buffy looked up. Her eyes were very hard. "That's what we're trying to figure out."  
  
Faith handed her another map. "We've been to the frat, Riley's old apartment, even the psych building."  
  
"What about the initiative bunker?" Tara sat down next to Dawn, wrapped an arm around her.  
  
"Filled in. No trace left." Buffy slammed the map down. "We've looked everywhere. The longer we wait..." she trailed off miserably.  
  
Giles nodded. "If we're too late..." he couldn't finish the sentence. He and Buffy shared a look.  
  
Tara felt like she was missing something, but then she often did when it came to the slayers and watchers. They seemed to have an unspoken communication. They didn't do it to leave anyone out; just all seemed to be on a different wavelength. "What will Riley do to him?" she asked.  
  
Buffy opened her mouth, but was distracted by the ringing of the phone. "Hello?" Her face became even tighter. "Where is he, Riley?"  
  
Everyone perked up.  
  
Tara watched Buffy. This wasn't just a concerned slayer. This was far more. The witch hoped that Spike was ok, because she knew Riley wouldn't be if anything bad happened to the vampire. Not that she cared that much about the ex-Commando, but she was worried about Buffy if she lost one more thing that she cared about.  
  
Buffy slammed the phone down. "The cave." She stood, paced angrily. "I should have thought of that. He went there, always goes there. God, how could I forget that?"  
  
Faith stood and blocked her pacing. "So you forgot. Move on. What do we do?"  
  
"He said come alone."  
  
Faith nodded. "And you will. He won't even know we're there. Will he, squirt?"  
  
Dawn shook her head.  
  
"If he suspects..."  
  
Faith touched her shoulder. "He won't. We've got your back, Buffy. Deal with it."  
  
"He said to bring my slaying kit."  
  
"I don't like the sound of that," Dawn went to the closet, pulled out some crossbows. She tossed one to Faith, then stuck a knife in a boot sheath.  
  
Buffy raised an eyebrow. "When did you start wearing that? And you know it won't do any good against a vampire."  
  
Dawn glared at her. "It isn't for a vampire."  
  
Faith moved between them. "Get your stuff, B."  
  
Buffy didn't argue, just ran upstairs and came down quickly with her bag. She ducked into the kitchen for a moment, then joined them. "Ok." She turned to Giles. "I may get to kill my first human yet."  
  
He didn't disagree, just put his hand on her shoulder. "Be careful. All of you."  
  
They hurried out, leaving the others to watch. Tara looked at Willow.  
  
"I still don't get it. Why would he take Spike?"  
  
Tara decided it was up to Buffy to tell her friend the answer to that question. She just shrugged.  
  
"I'm going to make some tea," Giles said.  
  
Willow stood up. "I'll help you."  
  
Tara sat alone for a moment, then she walked out to the porch. She couldn't just wait in the house. She sat on the steps, looked up at the moon and began to sing softly, trying to send whatever protection she could to the slayers and the lost watcher. Some little stars formed near her then headed off after the slayers. She sensed Willow's eyes on her from the window and looked over. Willow smiled, nodding in support, then turned back to Giles. Tara resumed her vigil.  
  
---------------------  
  
Buffy ran into the cave. She hoped Faith and Dawn were behind her, she no longer heard their footsteps.  
  
"Here you are," Riley smiled from the far end of the space. He held a crossbow that he loaded and primed even as he turned to the cage that held Spike. "I told you, she'd be right on time."  
  
Spike only snarled. His face was twisted in demonic rage as he leapt across the cage at Riley.  
  
"Spike," She whispered. The vampire turned to her, rushed the cage, growling and fighting to get to her. Buffy's hopes plummeted. "Riley, what have you done?"  
  
He turned back to her, shook his head sadly. "See, you say you've changed and that's why you don't love me. But the way I see it, you were always throwing me over for these damn vampires. That's why I started going to the crib in the first place. I let them drink from me because I wanted to know what it was that got you so off on these creatures. And I can kind of understand, it is an amazing feeling."  
  
"That's not why..."  
  
"What? Dracula didn't drink from you? Angel didn't?"  
  
"That was to save his life."  
  
"You just keep telling yourself that, Buffy."  
  
She moved into the cave, toward him.  
  
He kept Spike's cage between them. "It's really ok, you know, you wanna prefer these monsters to me. But I thought it just wasn't right that your current one couldn't give you that feeling. Couldn't drink from you." Riley rattled the cage loudly. With a roar, Spike rushed him, clawed at him. Riley just smirked. "So I found that doctor that used to work with the initiative. Had him do a little work on this one's head. And now, well see for yourself." He hit a button on the wall and the cage door slowly opened. "Look ma, no chip. Did I mention I forgot to feed him?"  
  
Spike advanced on her, hissing loudly.  
  
"I think the operation may not have gone all that well. He's been a bit agitated. Guess you have to kill him now. No more chip, no more good vampire. No more good vampire, no more watcher. And no more lover. Or maybe you thought I wouldn't figure that out?"  
  
Buffy slowly backed away. She pulled a stake from her bag, didn't want to but raised it, readying herself to fight. Her body tensed for the first kick when she got a good look at Spike's face. He was winking at her.  
  
She stopped, could feel a half-smile creeping across her face.  
  
"Buffy, you have to kill him." Riley moved forward. "He's crazed with hunger. There's no chip to make him mind you."  
  
She did nothing.  
  
Spike was directly in front of her. With a grin, his face morphed back to normal. He spoke calmly, "Dr. Overheiser should be offended at your ex's lack of confidence in him." He touched his hair gingerly. "Feels like everything's ok up there."  
  
Riley looked shocked, but recovered quickly. "You still haven't fed, Spike."  
  
"Bloke's been watching too many horror flicks. Thinks we can't miss a meal or two?"  
  
Riley's tone was desperate. "Go on. Attack her. She's right there."  
  
Spike looked over at her. "Yeah, she is."  
  
Buffy tilted her head to the side, exposing her neck to him. "I'm right here."  
  
He leaned in; she could feel his lips touch her throat. It tickled.  
  
He pulled away. "Your blood smells delicious as always. That perfume on the other hand, I'm not so sure about."  
  
Riley shouted angrily. "What the hell is this? You don't have a chip anymore, Spike. You can attack her. Or hey, attack me."  
  
"You really don't get it, do you, you wanker?" Spike walked toward the other man angrily. "We're not mindless monsters. I don't have to attack you or her or anything."  
  
"But you can feed now. You can kill." Riley looked at Buffy, frantic appeal in his eyes. "You could never trust him now. Would you want him around Dawn?"  
  
Buffy thought about it. Looked at both men. Finally she smiled, "I trust him," she answered. "I trust him with my life."  
  
Riley reached back, pulled out a crossbow. "Well I don't." He fired.  
  
Buffy ran but she knew she was going to be too late to stop it. Then something flew past her hair, hitting the bolt that rushed toward Spike and driving it off course. Dawn stepped out of the shadows, already reloading her crossbow.  
  
"Niblet, hell of a good shot! Thought I was a goner there." Spike grinned at her.  
  
Dawn turned the weapon on Riley. "Drop it."  
  
"Not on your life," he fitted another bolt into the bow. "I'm betting you can't do that twice."  
  
Faith came up behind him silently. She raised her own crossbow, held it to Riley's skull. "And I'm betting I can shoot you in the head before you get that shot off."  
  
"Now drop it," Dawn ordered.  
  
He seemed to slump in defeat. The bow hit the ground. Faith kicked him forward, then picked up the bow. She tossed it to Buffy.  
  
"What do we do with him?" Dawn looked at her sister.  
  
"I've got an idea." Spike walked toward Riley. "What do you say? Just you and me? Finally."  
  
Riley immediately assumed a fighting stance. "I'll enjoy kicking your butt, Spike."  
  
"I've been waiting a long time for this," Spike said as he fended off the first blow. He struck out, caught Riley firmly, knocking him back. He smiled when there was no pain. "Oh yeah. I'm back."  
  
"Not if I have anything to say about it," Riley gritted as he kicked out at the vampire.  
  
Spike absorbed the blow, went for a kick of his own. The force knocked Riley back.  
  
Buffy could tell that he was just toying with Riley. Spike was beaming like a child. And he hadn't gone all bumpy. Not even when Riley got in a couple of nasty jabs.  
  
"Ok, I'm bored." Spike threw a punch, then followed it with a roundhouse kick that knocked Riley against the far wall, where he crumpled to the ground, looking dazed.  
  
The vampire turned to the slayers. "This is the best day of my life." He walked over to his rival, reached down and pulled him up.  
  
Riley unsteadily tried to fend him off.  
  
Spike dusted him off. "Don't worry, mate. I'm not going to hurt you. You gave me back my life." He propped Riley up against the cave wall then walked over to Buffy. "And you gave me something else." He touched her cheek. "You said you trust me with your life. But I don't think you were planning to trust me with your heart."  
  
She tried to disagree.  
  
"No, you weren't going to. How could you trust me, with the chip being the only thing keeping me from reverting back to some monster? The way Angel did." His look softened. "That wasn't the way to learn what love was like, Summers. Hurt you deep, he did. Made you not trust." He leaned in, kissed her hard. "But a chip isn't a soul. You lose a soul, that's bad. You lose a chip, you live with it."  
  
Riley shook his head from where he had slid down the wall. "He's a monster, Buffy."  
  
Buffy turned to study her ex-boyfriend. "We're all monsters. One way or another. Some are just more up front about it." She looked at Spike.  
  
He grinned back. "Does that mean you love me?"  
  
"I wouldn't go that far," she laughed quietly. She handed Spike her crossbow and walked over to Riley. Helping him up, she let him lean on her. "Here's the deal, Riley. You're going to go back to your unit or better yet, go back to Iowa. Settle down. Find a nice girl that doesn't kill vampires for a living. Have kids. Buy a house. It'll be good."  
  
"No vampires in Iowa," he agreed.  
  
"Well..." Spike stopped at Buffy's glare. "Right, no vamps there."  
  
The others followed as Buffy walked Riley back to his truck. She got him settled in the driver's seat. "You gonna be ok?"  
  
He reached down, stroked her hair once. "I feel lost."  
  
"Sunnydale does that to a person. Go back home. You'll find yourself there."  
  
They watched him drive off.  
  
"Think he'll be all right?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Maybe. In time." Buffy turned to the two slayers. "You guys go on. We're going to hang here a bit."  
  
Faith grinned.  
  
Dawn made a puzzled face. "Why? What's left to see here?"  
  
Faith rolled her eyes and grabbed the younger girl's arm. "Say goodnight, Dawn."  
  
Dawn seemed to get it. "Oh." She turned quickly. "We're going now."  
  
"Thanks for saving my life, Dawn." Spike called out.  
  
"Yeah, wicked good shot," Faith commended her. "How'd you do that?"  
  
"I don't know. I just knew I had to." Their voices drifted off.  
  
Buffy turned back to Spike.  
  
"So, no chip," he said.  
  
"No chip," she repeated.  
  
Without a word, they started to circle each other. He made the first move, his fist sending her back several feet. She recovered instantly, moving around him till he dropped his guard. Her kick sent him sailing. He was down for seconds only, then he flew at her, knocking her to the ground. He landed on top of her heavily.  
  
"Sparring is going to be so much more fun," she said with a grin.  
  
He kissed her. "Lots of things are going to be more fun."  
  
She ran her fingers through his hair. He winced when she hit the sutures. "Sorry," she said as she gently traced the area that had been cut.  
  
He kissed her again.  
  
She looked at him intently. "You could hunt now. Do you want to?"  
  
"If I say yes are you going to stake me?" He kissed her again. "I've never stopped wanting to hunt, Buffy. Chip or no, that never changed. But I don't plan to do it."  
  
She studied him. Was he serious? Could she trust him, really? Trust him with Dawn, with any of them? She looked at his eyes. They hid nothing from her. She relaxed, kissed him softly. "I believe you."  
  
He smiled, said wistfully, "I am hungry, though."  
  
"Let me up then." She ignored his protests and pushed him off her. Going to her bag she dug around till she found the pouches of blood she'd grabbed at the last minute. She tossed them to him. "I thought Riley might try something like this."  
  
He ripped the plastic open and drank both down greedily.  
  
She gathered up her bag and started walking.  
  
He ran after her. "Hey. Aren't we going to celebrate my not being skewered by your psycho ex?"  
  
"We are."  
  
"I call this walking, not celebrating. Hold up and let's do this right."  
  
"Spike, you have blood breath. It's disgusting."  
  
"Oh, like Angel never had blood breath. Give me a sodding break."  
  
She reached her hand back, felt him take it. She smiled. "This isn't about Angel, Spike."  
  
He pulled her into his arms, held her for a moment, his face buried in her hair. "No," he whispered, "This has nothing to do with him."  
  
She relaxed in his arms. "I'm glad you're ok."  
  
"I'd never hurt you, Buffy. Chip or no, I'd rather die than hurt you."  
  
She kissed him.  
  
"What about blood breath?"  
  
"Shut up, Spike." She kissed him again.  
  
When they finally pulled away, he smiled gently. "Still so sure you'll never love me."  
  
"Well, I don't know about never," she said seriously, then her expression turned wicked. "Race you to the others?"  
  
His eyes gleamed. "You've got it," he said.  
  
She waited for him to try to get off early, stepped in front of him as he did and tripped him. Taking off, she heard him yell, "That was a foul, Summers."  
  
He came up quickly behind her. She ran faster. Her blood was burning in her veins and she had never felt more alive. She turned to see him at her side, his lips pulled back in a savage grin.  
  
"You know I love you, Buffy," he said just as he passed her.  
  
"I know," she acknowledged as she cut him off and flew by him. She felt him just behind her then he was at her side again. They ran together until they caught up with the other two slayers.  
  
"That was fast." Faith smirked.  
  
"Don't even go there," Spike warned.  
  
"Go where," Dawn asked curiously.  
  
"Never mind," three voices said at once.  
  
She pouted. "No one tells me anything."  
  
Buffy laughed, saw Faith do the same. She found herself smiling at the other slayer. A real, warm smile. Faith returned it.  
  
"Glad I had you two at my back," Buffy said.  
  
Dawn shrugged. "We stick together. We're slayers."  
  
"Sometimes it's not that simple," Faith replied.  
  
"Well it should be that simple."  
  
Spike looked at the older slayers. "She's right. In the long run, what else really matters?"  
  
Buffy bumped up against him affectionately. "I can think of a watcher or two that matters."  
  
Faith smiled in agreement.  
  
"And friends matter," Dawn offered as they neared the house.  
  
Tara sat on the porch, watching for them.  
  
Buffy sighed happily. "Yes. Friends matter." She dropped her arm around Dawn's waist. "And little sisters definitely matter." She glanced over at Faith, who was watching her. "Don't they, Faith?"  
  
The other slayer nodded gravely, recognizing what was being offered. Her arm dropped down to wrap around Dawn from the other side. "Little sisters are the most important thing of all."  
  
Tara called out, rushed to meet them. Dawn pulled away and ran to tell her what had happened.  
  
Buffy held out her hand to Faith. "We've done truce. Wanna try allies next?"  
  
Faith gripped her hand hard. She nodded. "Allies it is." She let go of Buffy when Giles stepped onto the porch.  
  
Buffy watched Faith hurry to him; saw his relief that she was back safe. "They love each other," she said, as if realizing it for the first time.  
  
"Yeah, they do." Spike's voice was low. "Love doesn't always come from where you expect, slayer."  
  
She grinned. "I'll try to remember that."  
  
She saw Willow come out, her gaze sweeping the crowd till she saw Spike with Buffy. Her smile was breathtaking.  
  
"Hey, Red. Worried about me?"  
  
Willow ran down and hugged him. "Yes, I was." She smiled at Buffy. "Riley...did you have to...?"  
  
"We sent him home. After Spike gave him a bit of a thrashing."  
  
"You mean?" Willow's look was worried. She pulled back quickly.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm not going to try to finish the job I started two years ago."  
  
"Oh, well, ok then." She fingered her neck. "You're sure?"  
  
"He's sure, Will." Buffy pulled Spike behind her. The rest trailed into the house behind them.  
  
"If you all don't mind, I'm going to get Spike some food?" She led him to the stairs.  
  
"In the basement?" Giles asked.  
  
She looked at him, expecting disapproval. But his eyes were dancing. She smiled. "Yes. Have to debrief him, too."  
  
Giles nodded sagely. "That could take quite a while."  
  
"All night even," Faith offered helpfully.  
  
"Debriefing Spike is going to take all night?" Willow's eyes widened. "Oh."  
  
Tara smiled and took her hand. "Let's go to bed. All the excitement is over for one night. Come on, Dawn. Time to hit the rack."  
  
Dawn followed them upstairs.  
  
"We'll be going," Faith said.  
  
"Yes. Well." Giles looked at Spike. "I'm glad that you're still alive. Never thought I'd be in a position to say that."  
  
"Me neither, Giles." Spike laughed as they walked to the door.  
  
Buffy locked it behind them then turned to the vampire. "Do you need to eat first?"  
  
He shook his head. His eyes were intense. "There's only one thing I need and I'm looking at it."  
  
She smiled. Followed him down the stairs. When he turned to take her in his arms she held out a hand, stopped him. "I need to say something. I don't know what we are to each other, or what we'll become. This is new and it's strange. You and I, together...you know I didn't want it. I'm still getting used to it. But if you had died tonight, part of me would have died with you. I just thought you should know that."  
  
He pulled her close. "Sweet, sweet slayer." His mouth found hers in a fevered mix of gentleness and raw lust.  
  
They fell on the bed.  
  
"Love me," she demanded.  
  
"Till the end of time," he replied as he kissed her.  
  
Buffy kissed him back fiercely and lost herself in the sensations he provoked, the feelings he aroused. It might not be love, what she felt for Spike, but whatever it was, it was powerful. And later, as he held her and she relaxed in the safety of his arms, it was gentle and good. She grinned sleepily. It wasn't like any love she had ever known but given her history maybe that was a good thing.  
  
--------------------------  
  
In an abandoned mansion, a fire flickered warmly. Two men sat in front of it savoring cognac and cigars.  
  
"This is really where Angel lived?" Haversham asked sardonically. "And nobody ever noticed?"  
  
"This is Sunnydale. Nobody ever notices anything. It's the perfect spot to take up residence. At least for now." The other man crossed his legs; a tail peeked out from under his smoking jacket. He leaned back, puffed deeply. "I still don't understand why you helped the slayer get her life back. Wouldn't it have been easier to just kill her once and for all?"  
  
Haversham shook his head. "Dead she calls another slayer. We were lucky this time it was only her sister."  
  
The other man smiled. "I remember her. Such a tender girl. And so willing to bring her mother back." He held out his hand, palm up. "I owned a little part of her for that."  
  
"Well you did till she became a slayer. That wiped the debt free."  
  
"Too bad too. She was well on her way. Of course then Glory wanted to use her for that ceremony."  
  
"Why did you interfere in that, anyway? Look at all the trouble you caused." Haversham stabbed out his cigar.  
  
"I couldn't resist." Doc smiled savagely. "Thought the slayer would have to kill her sister. Knew that would push her right over the edge. Never suspected she'd figure out the connection. Take the big plunge herself."  
  
"Yes, well, I'm afraid Buffy Summers is smarter than any of us gave her credit for."  
  
"That will only make this more entertaining."  
  
Haversham drained his glass. "I'll drink to that." He stood, put on his coat. "Hate to leave you when the fun's just getting started." He looked around the mansion. "But I'll be back."  
  
Doc leaned his head back and lazily smoked the rest of his cigar. He raised his glass to the departing watcher. "Here's to fun."  
  
The End? 


End file.
